Breaking news: Canada pre-emptively shuts down us citizen immigration prior to a potential onslaught of millions of us political refugees expected to run for the exits in the event of a trump presidency, "just until we can figure what the hell is going on!"
Associated Press
Dateline Ottawa, Canada - As the American Presidential Election draws nearer and an increasing number of Americans pledge to "get the hell out" of the country in the event of a nightmarish Trump victory, nervous Canadian politicians are taking precautionary action to deal with the potential onslaught of hordes of political refugees that some estimate could be in the millions. Most of these anti-immigration dogmatists claim that they don't intend on denying Americans entry forever, just until they can "figure out what the hell is going on".
Canadian fears are seated in apprehension of religions extremism of Christian fanatics that seems to afflict America in much greater proportion than any other nation on earth, as the whole world watches in horror at the growing power of Christian Extremism in American culture and politics. Abby Leeds of Toronto, a supporter of this bill explains, "I just want to make sure Canadian women will be able to have safe abortions now and forever into the future; just as it's been in Canada since 1969. I just can't trust Americans to not infringe on these rights, as so many of them seem intent on shoving their extremist religious nonsense down everybody's throats."
Many other Canadians are sickened by the extreme levels of bigotry in American culture that appears to be worsening since the unleashing of Fox News - an extreme right wing propaganda outlet - the most watched and well funded of the increasing number of media outlets owned or controlled by religious extremists - that appears to have as one of its main agendas the fanning of racist, sexist, homophobic, and bigoted flames. Harold Aims, a business owner and Vancouver local, explained the most important thing was making sure his Muslim, Sikh and homosexual employees felt safe in their workplace, homes, and communities.
Many other Canadians are worried about the spread of violent culture. Gun violence is a well documented issue in America, one that Canada does not want spilling over the border. Alex Peterson, one of the champions of the bill released this statement: "...certainly we don't think all Americans are violent terrorists, but we can't be sure who is or who isn't. The whole world is aware of the frightening gun nut culture and the batshit crazy justifications so many American morons express for refusing to do anything to bring violent gun terror under control in that uncivilized, backwards culture. Until we find a way to screen more effectively, there must be protections in place to save Canada from the spread of American style gun terror. Letting American refugees in is a risk we cannot take."
Still others are worried about the low average IQ levels in the US and are afraid that if too many low IQ morons are let in at once, that it could ruin Canada's relatively advanced, modern, civilized society.
Our sources are also getting word the a similar bill is about to be introduced into the Mexican legislature.
Associated Press
Dateline Ottawa, Canada - As the American Presidential Election draws nearer and an increasing number of Americans pledge to "get the hell out" of the country in the event of a nightmarish Trump victory, nervous Canadian politicians are taking precautionary action to deal with the potential onslaught of hordes of political refugees that some estimate could be in the millions. Most of these anti-immigration dogmatists claim that they don't intend on denying Americans entry forever, just until they can "figure out what the hell is going on".
Canadian fears are seated in apprehension of religions extremism of Christian fanatics that seems to afflict America in much greater proportion than any other nation on earth, as the whole world watches in horror at the growing power of Christian Extremism in American culture and politics. Abby Leeds of Toronto, a supporter of this bill explains, "I just want to make sure Canadian women will be able to have safe abortions now and forever into the future; just as it's been in Canada since 1969. I just can't trust Americans to not infringe on these rights, as so many of them seem intent on shoving their extremist religious nonsense down everybody's throats."
Many other Canadians are sickened by the extreme levels of bigotry in American culture that appears to be worsening since the unleashing of Fox News - an extreme right wing propaganda outlet - the most watched and well funded of the increasing number of media outlets owned or controlled by religious extremists - that appears to have as one of its main agendas the fanning of racist, sexist, homophobic, and bigoted flames. Harold Aims, a business owner and Vancouver local, explained the most important thing was making sure his Muslim, Sikh and homosexual employees felt safe in their workplace, homes, and communities.
Many other Canadians are worried about the spread of violent culture. Gun violence is a well documented issue in America, one that Canada does not want spilling over the border. Alex Peterson, one of the champions of the bill released this statement: "...certainly we don't think all Americans are violent terrorists, but we can't be sure who is or who isn't. The whole world is aware of the frightening gun nut culture and the batshit crazy justifications so many American morons express for refusing to do anything to bring violent gun terror under control in that uncivilized, backwards culture. Until we find a way to screen more effectively, there must be protections in place to save Canada from the spread of American style gun terror. Letting American refugees in is a risk we cannot take."
Still others are worried about the low average IQ levels in the US and are afraid that if too many low IQ morons are let in at once, that it could ruin Canada's relatively advanced, modern, civilized society.
Our sources are also getting word the a similar bill is about to be introduced into the Mexican legislature.
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Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams
Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams