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Clever with words
#1
Some new, some old:

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking

Dijon vu - the same mustard as before

Practice safe eating - always use condiments

Shotgun wedding - a case of wife or death

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy

A hangover is the wrath of grapes

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red

When two egotists meet, it's an i for an i

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired

What's the definition of a will? It's a dead give away

In democracy your vote counts. in feudalism your count votes

She was engaged to a boy with a wooden leg but broke it off

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered

You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it

Local area network in Australia - the lan down under

Every calendar's days are numbered

A lot of money is tainted -taint yours and taint mine

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat

He had a photographic memory that was never developed

Once you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis

Acupuncture is a jab well done
"You can be young without money but you can't be old without money"
Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams
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#2
Weird mix of cringey and amusing
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