When did you become comfortable with being...

[oreosplz93]

When did you become comfortable with being gay?
When did you feel free with everything that comes with being gay?


Tell me, I'm curious.

[meridannight]

i never did have a problem with my sexuality. i love that i love men, and that's how it's always been. i figured it out when i was 5 years old, i liked men already back then. later i realized what it was and it was the most amazing thing in the world.

so i've always been comfortable with loving men. that's the natural default state.

[oreosplz93]

i never did have a problem with my sexuality. i love that i love men, and that's how it's always been. i figured it out when i was 5 years old, i liked men already back then. later i realized what it was and it was the most amazing thing in the world.

so i've always been comfortable with loving men. that's the natural default state.

nice, thanks!

[TwisttheLeaf]

I personally never had a problem with liking guys. My father did, though, and worked very hard to make me feel uncomfortable about it.

So... Once I emancipated from his house when I was 16, that pretty much fixed any discomfort or lack of freedom I had concerning my preferences.

[LJay]

Older generation here. Can't say that I have ever really adapted to feeling something that was so forbidden when I was young. Though intellectually I am able to separate myself from some of the ways I was brought up, it is not so easy emotionally. That does not mean that I won't keep trying.

[Insertnamehere]

I haven't ever been comfortable let alone free with being gay. It just is.

"Big whoop, deal with it" *says to himself*

[Cridders88]

Only really in the last few years. I always felt inferior for being gay, feeling that I could never live my life as a gay man, how I could never come out; I had a lot of inner turmoil about it for many years, despite living in an area that is fairly gay friendly. Once I finally accepted it, realised I couldn't go through my one life on this planet denying myself and decided enough was enough, I came out to everyone I know (over a period of a few years) and got a generally positive response . It has helped me to finally become truly comfortable with it, heck, to even like it . In my mind, I have come such a long way in the past few years. I wouldn't change it now even if I could.

[Pix]

For whatever reason I've always had a low sex drive. Many had crushes as small children, but I missed out on that.

I believe if we lived in a sexually enlightened society that I'd have figured it out fast, but Texas does a damn good job at keeping the kids ignorant (with the predictable result of so many teen pregnancies, STDs, which adds to the welfare rolls, and so on). Furthermore, plenty of girls lied about not being interested in sex, only grudgingly giving in to guys, and I believed them. While I wasn't puritanical and didn't care (my BFF at the time was very promiscuous, and I was more curious about it than anything), I thought I was a lot more normal than I was because of so many girls lying about it (though I did see many things that in retrospect makes me realize they were lying, in addition to many women who told me they lied about it at that age).

When I was a runaway at 15, I did feel oddly relaxed in certain areas with a lot of lesbians around. I'm not sure if this was because I felt safer from sexual harassment and worse from men (the lesbians left me alone as well, generally neutral to my presence, though I did have delayed puberty which may have caused them to think I was younger than I was), or if I felt some subconscious affinity with them.

And yet at age 16, when I returned home for a few months before running away again, some mean girls tried to alienate a friend of mine by asking her if she was my girlfriend and that I was gay. Not caring (we were both in ABC, Adaptive Behavior Class, and almost never interacted with the rest of the school save at the start and end of the day, so what they said about us to the rest of the school meant nothing to us) we even kissed in front of them. I don't recall getting a thrill out of it (though I have gotten a thrill from fooling around with a girl before then), but maybe that had something to do with our would-be tormenters were distracting me from feeling anything.

Just after turning 17 (and away from home again), the questions of women who were much more worldly and honest asked me questions and offered up the possibility that I was a lesbian...the biggest reason being that I never had a serious boyfriend, I never crushed hard on one nor had my heart broken...but I did get upset when a girl I had fooled around with mocked other girls for supposedly being a lesbian (ironically, I'm sure they were both more straight then my semi-girlfriend mocking them) and then her telling me what we did was "practice (for guys)," which hurt my feelings.

Having access to both good books and the internet by then in addition to knowledgeable people willing to talk candidly with me, I was finally able to get a quality sex education (I was so grateful to one site that I sent them money a few years later). And that, plus experimenting, made me realize I was...though at first I thought I was bi, but really it's just that guys didn't turn me off rather than they turned me on, and I also still had some curiosity back then (once my curiosity was satisfied, I lost interest).

I can't say it bothered me too much. I think this is because that I'd been raised (for want of a better word) to be so independent who was confident in myself even if I was fairly distrusting of the world, and I was also spared being raised religious (for which I'm very grateful). Though as an adult it hurt my feelings when I explained my sexuality to my grandmother who was accepting of me, but treated my orientation like a disability, and blaming it on the dysfunctional parents who raised me (and she felt guilty for not doing more to take me away from them, as maybe then I'd have not been warped to prefer women--she didn't state it so bluntly, but that's what it boiled down to).

[Pix]

I think it was 2005...YouTube was still brand new anyway...I caught a YT vid in which someone made it so Dark Willow faced Darth Vader by combining the images in creative ways. Checking the comments to make sure it hadn't already been pointed out, I made a comment (possibly my very first on YT) about how and why Darth Vader could not use Force Lightning and was very vulnerable to it, something Dark Willow would be able to use against him.

Right after I posted it, the realization that I'd just entered a discussion on a what a fight between Dark Willow and Vader would be like, demonstrating knowledge of both series that most wouldn't have (and that I didn't even consider myself much of a Star Wars fan only made it even more notable) made me realize I was a geek. In retrospect, I realize I should've already known, but I just hadn't thought of myself that way before. I think I spent a minute getting used to the idea before I finally shrugged and accepted it. Which was more turmoil than realizing I preferred women.

[mrex]

no problems here... it is always been a part of me, no wonders, no questions. i still dont advertise it because i hate gays who make it to be something special and draw an attension to it. "hey everybody, look here! im the only gay in the village!" (you know the type!)


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