Slow motion texter

[shykid25]

So I started talking to this guy online and he seems very nice and we work in the same profession. However he takes literally 2 to 4 days to respond online. So only asked if he wanted to text. He said yes and we exchanged numbers. He takes a long time to text or he's not interested because it's been literally 24 hrs since I last texted him. What should I do? Should I text him saying you sure take a long time to answer....idk

[LJay]

You should be patient. Let him respond at his own pace. Some of us are apt to assume that because smart phones can move quickly we should too. Not everyone works that way.

[TwisttheLeaf]

Some people don't see texting as a form of immediate interactive conversation. They view it more like email, where they can take their time to respond, etc. If that's the case with him, it doesn't mean he's not into it.

[Camfer]

I hate it when I'm really crazy busy and I get a text from a guy who's quite peripheral in my life that is, "Sorry to bother you, but are you okay?" just because I am not responding to his idea of when I should be texting. If I got a text from someone that said I was taking a long time to answer, it would annoy me and make me think the texter was needy and whiny.

Some suggestions. (1) Make sure your text is interesting enough to merit a response. Not all texts are. (2) Let people live their lives on their own schedule. (3) Don't make anyone more of a priority for you than you are a priority for him.

[Borg69]

Maybe he's just not that into you...

[kidchameleon]

I wouldn't read too much into it - he could take his time for a number of reasons. He could simply be busy, he could have no signal when he's at college/work, he could just be very choosy over his words and need to mull over his replies before he sends them, etc.
If it's really an issue, the best thing to do would probably just be to ask - though in as casual a way as possible so as to not sound needy/accusatory. Or just be like "I was beginning to think you'd NEVER reply lol". Though, I guess you'd be the best judge on how to broach it appropriately

[Sylph]

Well for me personally and anyone here whom I talk to via texts/messages would know;

I am very very spacey when it comes to responses.


I am very talkative in my everyday life, and as such, texting is merely a supplemental form of that, that I don't find all that appealing, but since things like "Whatsapp" allows you to send voice notes and such, I utilize it for that.


I really really hate typing at times, because it's mentally exhausting to have to:

1) Think of the most universally "correct" phrase, as I speak far differently than majourity of you
2) Spell those words properly and order them so that they would make sense
3) Limit the possible things that other English speakers would find offensive, that isn't here.


I have my own set of personal issues as you can see with texting and even messaging on this site, this very message is an example;

However, for some people, this is just the case, even excluding the whole "I speak a Creole" thing, because some people are simply more expressive verbally than 'textually' and lack the skill or confidence in said skill to be able to converse with reliable stability.


And also, some people may not be a Native speaker of the language you are conversing in and from personal experience; it does take time to properly communicate when in such a scenario, so rushing someone like that could instantly kill the whole vibe.


Just food for thought hun!

[Sherbil]

On the one hand, I'd grow bored with somebody who didn't text any better than that and probably move on to the next person. Don't prioritize somebody who makes you an option.

On the other, I have been the person who doesn't respond quickly to texts, and it's always for various reasons. Sometimes my life really is just that busy. I work 13 hour shifts, usually 3 days in a row, and if I get a message in those 3 days, I won't respond to it until after I've had time to have myself a day off and relax with my family. However, if I'm interested, I acknowledge that I may not respond for a while, state why, and give a light apology for it.

So either way, it's my bet that he's just not that into you. I'd back off. If he tries to initiate things, you'll have a little bit more proof that he's just a slow responder and it isn't anything personal. If it fizzles out, well, you weren't that important to him.

[princealbertofb]

Why people prefer texting these days to phoning.... This could be a question, but it seems that people have been moving away from telephone conversations and are more into texting. For one thing, texting allows you to send your text at any time of the day or night and it won't bother the recipient unless they've left the sound on their phone on and are worried every time they get a text. Most people will read it whenever they have the time, and will also answer it whenever they have the time, or have the answer.
If you text someone requesting an answer you've got to give them time to organise their lives around that request, which could mean : not now, I am busy, and I don't have time to do this now.
And then there are also the technical matters to take into consideration. Does his phone work? Is it on? Has he run out of credit or battery? Some people don't text back because they're paying for their messages so they reserve them for important communications. Maybe this is less the case today, but it certainly was one of the reasons not so long ago.
So people have realised that texting is less invasive of someone's time and private life (or professional life) than a phone call. But sometimes a phone call is the better way to get an immediate answer (if they pick up the call, of course). But a phone call is invasive and that's why I think people don't phone so much (there's also a question of cost in a phone call, I think).

Some might think that it's common courtesy to answer, at least to say thank you, or tell you they've had the message and taken it into account. But what might also happen is that the message is deleted by mistake, therefore has never been read. You can send a replica of the initial text message, but as Camfer said, it had better be interesting. If your request in the text message has a consequence on your own timetable, or your own actions then maybe it's a good idea to state how you will pursue the matter. For example, '' if you don't let me know before (a given time) I'll be doing this, or I'll be going there, or...", whatever action you intend to pursue in case they don't contact you. That way, they can't be surprised that you are actually living your own life. Sometimes paths aren't meant to cross.