Am I really gay?

[questioning9]

I don't know if I am really gay. I am 20 and I am still questioning my sexuality. as a young man, I fell in love with girls. Then later, as I went into puberty, my sexuality started to take a turn and I began to have some attractions toward guys. I prefer specifically males who are white. I don't seem to have a preference for other races. Sorry. I am not white, by the way, but I just love white males. What's wrong with me?

During my teen years, I have viewed gay porn. The only thing that really interested me was anal sex. After viewing it for a while, I have come to think that gay marriage must be all about gay sex. Now I am starting to wonder if I am truly gay and asked myself that if I weaned off the porn, would I be interested in gay guys or not?

I strongly believe in monogamy, I am highly spiritual which is why guilt has always come into play whenever I look at gay porn. I just couldn't help it. I only used it to relieve my sexual urges and that was it. I couldn't care less about the men who did porn. I was just like you guys are just my objects. No offense, but that's just how I honestly feel and I can't speak of it otherwise.

Am I really gay? Should i start a relationship with other gay men or not? I seem to not want guys who are promiscuous and just want to check me out. If he wants sex with me, I kind of will decline because of my spirituality and I do practice a religion at the moment so I am letting that influence me. I know some gays may have been hurt by other religious groups out there and wonder how can you be gay and still be religious? well guess what? I don't hate you if you are gay. I am still not sure whether i am gay or bi. I hope that I will know sooner or later.

I am also Asian. Are white men into asian guys? It seems like we are screwed. What do you think? By asian, I mean southeast or far east asian men. Yes, I was born and raised in California.

[Cuddly]

Slow down cowboy.

Just take it easy, relax, and try to figure out what YOU want. You can't generalise on gays anymore than on straights. Some like asians, some like fats, some like hairies, some like scat, some are top, etc.etc.etc.!!!!

There are gay religious people too. The two are not mutually exclussive.

[TwisttheLeaf]

I don't know if I am really gay. I am 20 and I am still questioning my sexuality. as a young man, I fell in love with girls. Then later, as I went into puberty, my sexuality started to take a turn and I began to have some attractions toward guys. I prefer specifically males who are white. I don't seem to have a preference for other races. Sorry. I am not white, by the way, but I just love white males. What's wrong with me?

Well, there's nothing at all wrong with having preferences, man. As long as those preferences aren't created out of hate, but are genuine to what you like.

Just as there is nothing wrong with those preferences developing and changing over time.

During my teen years, I have viewed gay porn. The only thing that really interested me was anal sex. After viewing it for a while, I have come to think that gay marriage must be all about gay sex. Now I am starting to wonder if I am truly gay and asked myself that if I weaned off the porn, would I be interested in gay guys or not?

Gay marriage isn't about gay sex. Gay men can get gay sex (and have been) without marriage since the beginning of the human race. Marriage (whether it's gay marriage or straight marriage) is about love, commitment, and in some cases, taxes and legalities.

I strongly believe in monogamy, I am highly spiritual which is why guilt has always come into play whenever I look at gay porn. I just couldn't help it. I only used it to relieve my sexual urges and that was it. I couldn't care less about the men who did porn. I was just like you guys are just my objects. No offense, but that's just how I honestly feel and I can't speak of it otherwise.

That is essentially the porn industry. Try viewing porn as porn, and real life as real life. Because porn is not real life. It's just not, not on any level. So.... yeah, maybe you need to ween yourself off the porn a bit.

Am I really gay? Should i start a relationship with other gay men or not? I seem to not want guys who are promiscuous and just want to check me out. If he wants sex with me, I kind of will decline because of my spirituality and I do practice a religion at the moment so I am letting that influence me. I know some gays may have been hurt by other religious groups out there and wonder how can you be gay and still be religious? well guess what? I don't hate you if you are gay. I am still not sure whether i am gay or bi. I hope that I will know sooner or later.

Whether gay or bi, does it really matter? You clearly have an interest in men, yeah? So concentrate on what you want, and what you like, and relax a little because it's not something you have to know in an instant. Learning about yourself takes a lifetime.

Also, not all gay men (or bi men) are promiscuous. It's okay to want monogamy.

I will say that you need to start looking at people as people, instead of as "gay people" or "not gay people".

I am also Asian. Are white men into asian guys? It seems like we are screwed. What do you think? By asian, I mean southeast or far east asian men. Yes, I was born and raised in California.

There -is- a bit of a prejudice against Asian men in the gay community, but dude? There are PLENTY of gay and bi men out there into Asian guys. That's -why- the prejudice developed in the first place, after all.

Good luck on your search, man. Just don't stress so much, yeah? As [MENTION=20359]Cuddly[/MENTION] said, relax yeah? There's people out there for everyone, and every preference.

[Ulsterrobert]

Do a little research. I did. and boy! did I find out a lot.
Do a Google search -SEXUAL ORIENTATION BRAIN= and you will be surprised what research is showing.

[LJay]

"As a young man..."

For crying out loud, you are only 20. You ARE a young man.

You can do as others expect, which may be strong in asian culture. or you can do as you wish. If you have the freedom to experiment, put a strong emphasis on being safe and make your own decisions.

If you are in a situation where you feel free enough to be undecided, then you probably have some latitude in dealing with this. Given a reasonable amount of respect for others, you should be able to gather enough experiene to make up your mind.

[tnfunmagnet]

White guys are definitely into Asians. I'm a white American male who is about to be gay married to a man I've known and loved for 17 years. He's from the Philippines.

[Pix]

I'm going to have to strongly agree that porn is not real life (even if some try to make it real), but if you're specifically searching for gay sex vids because you're attracted to guys and like the thought of anal sex then it's not the porn doing it. If you were strictly straight, then there are plenty of anal sex vids involving women (including women anally penetrating guys) to choose instead, and you'd think about it with other women rather than with men.

[starlight]

Just by going off the title i always think this

[Emiliano]

There are PLENTY of gay and bi men out there into Asian guys. That's -why- the prejudice developed in the first place, after all.

How do you mean?

[TwisttheLeaf]

How do you mean?

From my own personal experience and observation, those that have issues with Asian men in the gay community have these issues -because- of the attention Asian men get from other gay men.... or fear attention turning away from them to Asian men.

In other words, they see it as a competition.

This is demonstrated not just in how I've experienced being treated (and seen other Asians treated) by such prejudices in the gay community. But -also- in the shaming and shunning that takes place by these same people towards gay men that date Asian men.