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05-20-2016, 06:37 AM

TwisttheLeaf Wrote:From my own personal experience and observation, those that have issues with Asian men in the gay community have these issues -because- of the attention Asian men get from other gay men.... or fear attention turning away from them to Asian men.

In other words, they see it as a competition.

This is demonstrated not just in how I've experienced being treated (and seen other Asians treated) by such prejudices in the gay community. But -also- in the shaming and shunning that takes place by these same people towards gay men that date Asian men.

You got ALL my attention, gorgeous

*Waggly brows*

drobs · 05-20-2016, 11:21 AM

I grew up Christian - Born Again, and all of that. I knew I was gay but fought it till after college in Grad School (seminary). With Christianity it's really easy to get stuck in what I call a Lust (watch porn), "Sin" (masturbate or have sex), Repent cycle. Even straight Christian men suffer through that cycle.

Eventually, you start hating yourself and keep finding yourself wishing / praying God will heal you... I was finally outed publicly by a guy in the church I was a member of. I then had to make a decision.

Now that everyone knows - do I:

A. Ask for forgiveness of God and the church membership, go back into the closet, and continue to hate myself?
B. Accept myself and move on with my life?

I chose B. If the Christian God is the Alpha and Omega I believe he created me the way I am. Since no one else will, I'm going to accept / love myself and enjoy my life - guilt free. I'm going to break that cycle.

Do I still believe in God - sure.
Do I still go to church? Once in awhile.

Regarding monogamy. I believe that is reserved for long term relationships and it is agreed upon by both parties. I can't expect anyone will be monogamous after the 1st date, 1st night / weekend together, etc.

When I was outed I went and had some fun for a few years. Had some 6 month relationships and 1 night stands. I eventually learned that it is more enjoyable to be with 1 person long term than many short term hookups.

You mileage may vary.

drobs · 05-20-2016, 11:28 PM

Really you're still moderating my posts???

TigerLover · 05-20-2016, 11:40 PM

drobs Wrote:Really you're still moderating my posts???

Yup and they will continue to do so until post 50.
It's annoying but the alternative is havging a bunch of trolls and homophobes on the forum.

You can always cheat abit by posting in the. "How are you today" and "what are you thinking threads. Or just call someone a fat cow and use the ensuing argument to wrack up posts.

drobs · 05-20-2016, 11:52 PM

Curious - who are the moderators?
Will they chime in or do they hid their identity?

TigerLover · 05-21-2016, 12:08 AM

drobs Wrote:Curious - who are the moderators?
Will they chime in or do they hid their identity?

Only one moderator, his name is Andy. Same guy who setup and runs the site.

Obviously being one guy he's not around all the time. If you need his help just message him or type
@ Andy. Only without the space.

drobs · 05-21-2016, 12:58 AM

The lack of consistency is annoying. I just posted my aging pics in another thread here and was debating starting a fresh thread but... I'm stuck waiting for approval.

So hey - check me out tomorrow. You can see what I look like - which seems self centered but that wasn't my goal.

05-21-2016, 05:11 AM

drobs Wrote:The lack of consistency is annoying. I just posted my aging pics in another thread here and was debating starting a fresh thread but... I'm stuck waiting for approval.

So hey - check me out tomorrow. You can see what I look like - which seems self centered but that wasn't my goal.

The moderation of posts from people below 50 posts to their name is automated and random. Go down into the word games and nudge your number up. They'll get you there in no time and then you won't have to worry about it anymore, yeah?

05-21-2016, 08:25 AM

*Points up* What they said. It's nothing personal, man. It's just an automated system that we've ALL had to mutter our way through until we hit that big 50 post. After that, it's smooth sailing all the way.

Hell I thought I was getting messages pulled cause I say fuck too much but nope, it was just the automated monster. *snickers*

It's worth the hassle though, really it is.

And Andy works hard for us, slaving away in the selfless task of keeping us happy without compensation, so he deserves loads of credit for allowing this place to BE...and a big THANKS ANDY for that from my corner.

And now back to your regularly scheduled programming......

kjames · (Edited 05-25-2016, 03:00 PM by kjames.)

I see you are in LA. I attend a church in Long Beach called "First Congressional Church" which is a liberal Christian church. When I sat down in the pew for the first time I was a bit nervous. I looked around and saw so many types of people, gay couples, straight couples, kids, adults and people of all different colors. During the sermon they had a dedication of a straight couples new born baby named Joshua. It was beautiful! They also had a youth blessing where all the kids come to the front to bless them. Later, they had announcements and discussed their plans openly about their support and participation in the Long Beach Pride Parade. I was almost moved to tears to hear the words: Support, Gay, Jesus Christ & Love within the walls of a religious establishment. What I'm saying here is there are places that support you for who you are. Being gay is more than just sex and watching gay sex in porn. In fact, sex is just a part of a relationship. In the end we can all really have sex with anyone. But, it's the person you want to wake up next to the next day with and build a life with is what really counts...good luck!