05-29-2016, 03:14 PM
I have to make a confession here.
AT one point in my life I have viewed gay porn as a teenager and have masturbated to it. How does this affect my brain and my life? I used to get very moody after a few days later. I am not sure how it can be healthy or normal. I have consulted therapists, teen hotlines, and many other sources and they all claimt hat porn is virtually harmless. Am I being misinformed? I would like to have concrete sources on the net that suggest that porn is not normal. Also, most of the sites that are anti-porn are religious in nature. I do not have a problem with that but it is sort of biased in a way and I want someone who is neutral in their stance and takes all the evidence into consideration. I want to know the truth and I want it now. I do not want to hesitate. I was dumb and I cannot believe that I did that as s ateen. I know it's ridiculous but I have to admit it affected my social skills and I found myself not being able to make conversation with others about sports, about anythign that men liked, and i was always going on porn on the weekend. I only would watch til I got off and that was it. It was less than a minute, but still, there were this warm feeling in my head which seemed like the neurons were firing at the moment and I don't know. Let me know before it's too late. I hate having to suffer from what they called porn-induced erectile dysfunction. A socially active person does not even bother with porn at all. I am sure of that. Not that I am stereotypical or anything, but if you have lots of friends and you're always out, you do not need that kind of trash.
Could you provide me with some concrete sources on what it does to the brain, how it affects the prefrontal cortex, temporal, occipital, parietal lobes? Also, I am not sure if there is any validity to that German study that talks about having fewer grey matter in the brain. Personally, I feel that my brain has shrink. I really do. Each time when I view a porn video, here's what I have noticed. I do journal quite a bit so I am able to identify all the problems I face afterward:
unclear speech(or perhaps a mix up of words or mixing up the tenses with words or not being able to find the right word to express myself which can sound really awkward in front of others which indicate that social skills are simply not as well as it was before)
intense anger
depressed state of mind
negative thinking
fatigue
Trust me, I doubt I was addicted to porn. I was using it to ejaculate. My heart rate increased every time prior to viewing porn. They seemed almost like panic attacks. I was always shut up in my room and I felt like i had nowhere to go. I felt like shutting my room every time I had wanted to view porn as a teen. Started at age 14 and then I stopped at 18. Then occasionally at 19 I would wake up in the middle of the night to watch it and I would cum. I never understood why I had this happen to me. It was so weird. Then I would subsequently fall asleep.
Even when I had erections, I tried to get rid of them by masturbating. They were very uncomfortable and they lasted for several minutes. I tried to not touch it at all and it's just..I thought to myself,"You know what? Why don't you just get off so you can get rid of the erection?"
My nocturnal emissions were exhausting. I once had it thrice a day and it was terrible. Well they took place from morning to late afternoon to night. It was terrible. I was like what is going to happen to me? By the end of the day, my muscles were twitching. Twitches seem to be a sign of dehydration, so I don't know what happened. I am trying to seek answers all over the place, online research, books, youtube videos, and it's just...I wish I know. I really do. Maybe the way that I do searches simply are not effective and not yielding the results that I need.
I don't know what has happened to my brain. I used to excel in many areas, but when the porn started and the masturbation, I was indolent for a period of time and everything else suffered. I felt guilty due to the upbringing I have had. I was taught that masturbation was wrong and I had many religious leaders that I had told about and they did nothing. I was hoping they would hold me accountable or perhaps follow up with me when I had my "addiction" but they didn't. All they did was blather on about sexual purity when I was attending sunday school and it was just awful. I never had any solace whatsoever and therefore I left the church. Religion gave me absolutely no peace and no, if you try to pray away those urges, it just comes back and the more you prya intensely, the more likely you are to experience them much more than you would, leaving you in a state of guilt and remorse.
For me, I have always been a loner, so it was easy for me to stay in on the weekend, not go out with friends, and then view porn for a split second and then jack off and then get tired and not feel motivated at all. I was angry all the time. It affected my relationships with others, with my family, with everyone. I didn't want to see anyone. ANy time I viewed porn, I would be afraid to walk out of my house, thinking someone was going to discover what I did. People always looked at me when I viewed porn. It isn't paranoia, becuase normally people do not even notice me, but when I approach them from behind, they stare at me or they glare at me almost as though they knew what I did in secret.
AT one point in my life I have viewed gay porn as a teenager and have masturbated to it. How does this affect my brain and my life? I used to get very moody after a few days later. I am not sure how it can be healthy or normal. I have consulted therapists, teen hotlines, and many other sources and they all claimt hat porn is virtually harmless. Am I being misinformed? I would like to have concrete sources on the net that suggest that porn is not normal. Also, most of the sites that are anti-porn are religious in nature. I do not have a problem with that but it is sort of biased in a way and I want someone who is neutral in their stance and takes all the evidence into consideration. I want to know the truth and I want it now. I do not want to hesitate. I was dumb and I cannot believe that I did that as s ateen. I know it's ridiculous but I have to admit it affected my social skills and I found myself not being able to make conversation with others about sports, about anythign that men liked, and i was always going on porn on the weekend. I only would watch til I got off and that was it. It was less than a minute, but still, there were this warm feeling in my head which seemed like the neurons were firing at the moment and I don't know. Let me know before it's too late. I hate having to suffer from what they called porn-induced erectile dysfunction. A socially active person does not even bother with porn at all. I am sure of that. Not that I am stereotypical or anything, but if you have lots of friends and you're always out, you do not need that kind of trash.
Could you provide me with some concrete sources on what it does to the brain, how it affects the prefrontal cortex, temporal, occipital, parietal lobes? Also, I am not sure if there is any validity to that German study that talks about having fewer grey matter in the brain. Personally, I feel that my brain has shrink. I really do. Each time when I view a porn video, here's what I have noticed. I do journal quite a bit so I am able to identify all the problems I face afterward:
unclear speech(or perhaps a mix up of words or mixing up the tenses with words or not being able to find the right word to express myself which can sound really awkward in front of others which indicate that social skills are simply not as well as it was before)
intense anger
depressed state of mind
negative thinking
fatigue
Trust me, I doubt I was addicted to porn. I was using it to ejaculate. My heart rate increased every time prior to viewing porn. They seemed almost like panic attacks. I was always shut up in my room and I felt like i had nowhere to go. I felt like shutting my room every time I had wanted to view porn as a teen. Started at age 14 and then I stopped at 18. Then occasionally at 19 I would wake up in the middle of the night to watch it and I would cum. I never understood why I had this happen to me. It was so weird. Then I would subsequently fall asleep.
Even when I had erections, I tried to get rid of them by masturbating. They were very uncomfortable and they lasted for several minutes. I tried to not touch it at all and it's just..I thought to myself,"You know what? Why don't you just get off so you can get rid of the erection?"
My nocturnal emissions were exhausting. I once had it thrice a day and it was terrible. Well they took place from morning to late afternoon to night. It was terrible. I was like what is going to happen to me? By the end of the day, my muscles were twitching. Twitches seem to be a sign of dehydration, so I don't know what happened. I am trying to seek answers all over the place, online research, books, youtube videos, and it's just...I wish I know. I really do. Maybe the way that I do searches simply are not effective and not yielding the results that I need.
I don't know what has happened to my brain. I used to excel in many areas, but when the porn started and the masturbation, I was indolent for a period of time and everything else suffered. I felt guilty due to the upbringing I have had. I was taught that masturbation was wrong and I had many religious leaders that I had told about and they did nothing. I was hoping they would hold me accountable or perhaps follow up with me when I had my "addiction" but they didn't. All they did was blather on about sexual purity when I was attending sunday school and it was just awful. I never had any solace whatsoever and therefore I left the church. Religion gave me absolutely no peace and no, if you try to pray away those urges, it just comes back and the more you prya intensely, the more likely you are to experience them much more than you would, leaving you in a state of guilt and remorse.
For me, I have always been a loner, so it was easy for me to stay in on the weekend, not go out with friends, and then view porn for a split second and then jack off and then get tired and not feel motivated at all. I was angry all the time. It affected my relationships with others, with my family, with everyone. I didn't want to see anyone. ANy time I viewed porn, I would be afraid to walk out of my house, thinking someone was going to discover what I did. People always looked at me when I viewed porn. It isn't paranoia, becuase normally people do not even notice me, but when I approach them from behind, they stare at me or they glare at me almost as though they knew what I did in secret.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
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