Coming out to parents at 51

[kindy64]

So, I finally wrote them a note. Kept it short and simple.

Received the following in email from my mom.

"We are still digesting your letter, so for now we will not rush to judgement. We love you Keith, but be patient with us as we are old school, so this adjustment to your lifestyle will take time."

My sister says that my dad is taking it hard, very upset. Mom is having a hard time, but not as upset.

Not really sure what to say now, or just to give them space for processing.

Complicating this is my fiance pushing me to ask them for money. "Oh, they still love you, it shouldn't matter to them."

[EvenOlderButWiser]

Congrats on telling them, it takes balls to do it at this period in your (and their) lives.

Id give them some space - they may have questions when the time is right.

The fiance complicates things somewhat, don't let her pressure you into anything your not comfortable with.

[princealbertofb]

Good luck with what lies ahead, at least now the cat is out of the bag. Yes, they will need time to process it, all the more so since they are old school. But old school doesn't mean naive. Just give them some time to get adjusted to what it has taken you years to process and accept too. Maybe you could just let them know that you love them too, and that you hope it will give them a better understanding of who they've brought up. Actually, you might stress that you're still the same person they've always known, aren't you? Good luck.

[princealbertofb]

So, I finally wrote them a note. Kept it short and simple.

Received the following in email from my mom.

"We are still digesting your letter, so for now we will not rush to judgement. We love you Keith, but be patient with us as we are old school, so this adjustment to your lifestyle will take time."

My sister says that my dad is taking it hard, very upset. Mom is having a hard time, but not as upset.

Not really sure what to say now, or just to give them space for processing.

Complicating this is my fiance pushing me to ask them for money. "Oh, they still love you, it shouldn't matter to them."

It kind of annoys me when people call our sexual orientation a 'lifestyle', which is isn't. Your lifestyle for thirty years has been to be a married man, (was it thirty years?). But I suspect that your parents calling it a 'lifestyle' is probably a euphemism because they can't bring themselves to say the words : our son is gay. I can understand that better.

[Cuddly]

I think being gay or homosexual is a private ppreference. U need to realize first whats ur purpose on telling them; do they need to know youre gay that much??? You dont go around and tell people abt ur sexual preferences. Am i right or am i right?

Partly right.
Your family and friends need to know your sexual orientation, if you intend to share your life with them. It's soulcrushing to have nothing other than one-way conversations about anything with substance.
I don't introduce myself as the gay, but I am not withholding the fact that I have a boyfriend either.

[kindy64]

I think being gay or homosexual is a private ppreference. U need to realize first whats ur purpose on telling them; do they need to know youre gay that much??? You dont go around and tell people abt ur sexual preferences. Am i right or am i right?

Generally, no I don't tell people that I'm bisexual...

However, I am engaged to a dude, been living with him for 13 months now, and it's just been difficult to not talk about him with regards to my parents. Tired of saying, well my roommate... with them.

[princealbertofb]

Generally, no I don't tell people that I'm bisexual...

However, I am engaged to a dude, been living with him for 13 months now, and it's just been difficult to not talk about him with regards to my parents. Tired of saying, well my roommate... with them.

I know (or rather knew) the feeling. It's so much easier to state it as a matter of fact. ''By the way, my boyfriend says ... ''

[knickerbuck]

well congrats man! it's abt time! ..