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Tips and advice on first time topping...
#1
Hey all,

So far all my sexual experiences have been bottoming, and earlier straight sex lol. But that's been more because It's been easier to take a passive role in sex, and also because I tend to get picked up rather than pick up, and they always seem to be tops.

Anyway to get to the point, I've recently met a guy and hes so cute. Weve been doing heaps of stuff together and been hanging out heaps. Anyway hes clearly a bottom, hes feminine and hes also mentioned hes a bottom. So pretty soon were gonna sleep together and I'm going to have to top. I'm nervous and really don't want to screw it up, cause I like him. I'm just looking for advice and tips on what to do. More to make it more enjoyable for him than for me...

What position should I use for first time? Should I use more than one lol? How much foreplay? How long am I expected to last etc? I just don't know what's expected.
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#2
Wow! Performance anxiety! Poor Australia Remybussi

Really, this needn't be an issue. If you like him and he likes you, continue to take things as they happen. Just because I happen to think that one can never have too much foreplay doesn't mean that your partner will agree. If you're seriously worried about not being able to rise to the occasion you might have a toy or two in reserve to fill those empty spaces, but if you are really into each other, it shouldn't matter that much, at least not to begin with.

Take care and enjoy each other.
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#3
Thanks for the nice words marshy, but I'm still worried lol. Thing is, he's very attractive which kind of intimidates me, and hes also had a few partners before me, where as I've only had casual sex (and never top). So although I don't think he's gonna judge me purely by my performance in the bedroom, if I completly suck It's gonna be awkward.

I guess my biggest fear is doing too much or too little. Like being boring or alternatively acting like a porn star. Bottoming seems so much easier.
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#4
Okay, well, I suppose there is nothing I can say that will stop you worrying Wink I assume you are hoping that he will not consider you just another notch on his bedpost? If this is going to turn into something longer than a one-night stand the feelings have to be mutual. If the feelings are mutual you will both be out to please. Take the lead and let him know when he is doing something right while you watch out for and listen to the cues he is giving you. I am pretty certain that if he is hoping for a return bout he would be very happy to share the knowledge he has gained along the way. It seems to me that the only person who would be worried by their partner's poor performance is one who is looking for instant gratification only. As I see it, you are in a win-win situation Rolleyes

All the best
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#5
[COLOR="Purple"]I have always just dove in! Passion, if it is there, kinda takes over. If you are both turned on by talking about it in chat or on the phone that can be cool too... So, yeah, maybe give that a go first.

But think marsh has pretty much hit it all on the head.

Graphic novel expected :tongue: [/COLOR]
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#6
Same thing here, never even had sex but I think it may happen soon :/
Im defo more of a bottom lol
So yeah, topping will be scary :S

Thinking of though, I was nervous about other sex types too, but I seemed to do ok with that first time round Smile
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#7
be cool , being nervous is not a good thing for sexual ( performance ) , sometimes nervousness >>> inability to maintain erection >> nervousness can turn into a vicious circle . it might help if u tell your partner that this will be your first Topping experience and you are worried about it , most probably he will understand this and may even help you to get over it .

try to relax , have rest , and eat well before you have sex , physical factors can make a difference .

Do sex the way you and your partner enjoy , on the bed try to forget about what you see in Porn films ..

and if the worst should happen , and you ( or he ) feel dissatisfied , remember this happens pretty often , and is quite NORMAL , and if My partner couldn't understand that , HE would be the one who ( doesn't know sex )

i hope that helps
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#8
Think like the bottom in you thinks.

I, for one, prefer to be more relaxed when I'm, "doing the do."
As in me on my back in the beginning.
As it progresses, I'll take the effort to brace myself, etc. etc.

I don't want to get past PG-13.
Make sure you make him feel, "relaxed," when you're doing it.
As in, give him the, "I'll give you 150%" treatment. ;]

You feel me?
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#9
Thanks guys. It still hasn't happened, I've avoided it twice haha. Got a feeling it's gonna this saturday tho. Sudanese when you say eating a big meal beforehand helps is that just the physical aspect of it? Like your body stamina? Cause I'm very fit so it's more just orgasiming too early that's a problem. Anyone here heard of peforma durex condoms? I'm thinking of using one of those lol.

Low x I have to admit I don't tottally understand your post. I don't get what you mean by relaxed, or 150% treatment. This is health and sex so feel free to take it past pg-13. Were all doing the same thing anyway.
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#10
[COLOR="Purple"]Oh, Australia, just had a thought about cumming too early... if you are able to get hard easily after cumming once why dont you both masturbate/oral first and cum. It usually takes much longer to cum the second time.

If you are going to try one of those condoms you may want to experiment with it first... you may not enjoy the feeling/loss of feeling with one...

hmmm, was gonna add one more thing but maybe better to stop there.[/COLOR]
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