Well, I guess my case is quite common, typical case of couple with discrepant sexual needs..., I'm deeply in love with my man and I get an erection almost every time we kiss, but he's nothing through a good period in his life, recurrent pain from a recent back surgery, problems at work because they want to get rid of him because of this health problems, problems with his family, problems with his flat..., even problems with his pets..., I accepted my role in the couple as a kind of shoulder to lean on and cry..., i drive him, I clean, I cook, I do the shopping, I lend him money..., but nothing seem to be enough and when finally I think there is some time for us, there seem to be a problem in his mind and he rejects me...long story short..., after months of feeling rejected , unsatisfied and even frustrated, today I had the courage to have the big conversations that told him how I felt,and that I needed at least some time to share just the two of us, without the problems..., so at the end he resumed everything to "you are angry because we didn't have sex in one week, you are being for being so selfish and I feel I can't rely on you and tell me about my problems anymore..."
I'm I being that unreasonable and selfish to ask for some time to share the two of us as a couple without talking about problems...? That could do us a lot of good and give us strength to fight problems as a couple..., but he sees it like " you are angry for not getting sex..."
I hope you guys can give me an impartial opinion...
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Well, is it only one week since you have had sex?
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If your gonna make a point dont make one thing the main focus of the point. If your gonna tell him you feel like you are not able to just have relaxing time(not sex) let him know you just miss spending time with him and just cuddling or something. But i will say in this time if you see him getting angry just let him defuse a lot is going on in his life and a disagreement could really make him blow even if its something minor
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I don't think it's unreasonable to want some time to be free of tensions and issues. Every couple needs an escape from tensions once in a while. Constant stress in a relationship destroys a relationship.
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I think your both extremely frustrated with the current situation, and lashing out at each other instead of fighting together.
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Once a week is too much? I definitely need more...
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Baslero Wrote:Once a week is too much? I definitely need more...
Well once a week is more than what someone would get being single...
Does sound like there is a lot going on between you two. Sounds like there's a lot of stress not counting the tension between you two. It sounds like you're having to do a lot for him, cook, clean, drive him, etc. What's really going on there? I think more details might be necessary to get better advice, because sex does sound like the focus here and while it is important it isn't what should make a relationship work. Relationships should be balanced. One question is how important is having sex, once a week, once a day, etc?
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I don't mind to do all of that, I do I for him because I love him, I don need him to pay me back with sex..., it's just that I need to feel that the relationship is more than that..., more than efforts and helping with problems..., as you said, sharing good experiences to balance the relationship..., and sex can be a very good experience to share in couple...
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Since you are spending so much time taking care of his needs, both emotionally and in the house, maybe he has started to see you as a caretaker, of sorts, instead of his romantic interest.
Are you sure he is not having sex elsewhere or is he masturbating alot?
I don't think sex once a week is excessive, in fact, it's too little.
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Ok Baslero, then maybe some of the focus should be on something different. Since you are ready to do all this stuff for him and it's not for sex, it seems to me that you need to make time to do things together than don't involve sex, and that don't involve what I'd call chores (washing up, cooking, doing the laundry, shopping etc.) Why don't you both find an activity or two that you can do together and enjoy together, like going to the cinema, or going out to a café or bar, or going out for a walk (if he can walk despite his back injury), or going to the swimming pool or a concert, a game or a match, or a museum, or just to another town to visit and have a meal out. Maybe you both need to get out of the routine of daily life, of life in the apartment or house and see that the focus can be shifted on sharing time together (which doesn't necessarily involve sex, but would involve togetherness and intimacy).
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