20 y/o with questions (Sexual)

[Latitude22]

Alright, I'm new here so I'm starting this with a backstory - If you don't feel like reading it just skip to the questions.

READ: I posted this on a bisexual/curious forum as well. These are legitimate questions I would like to gain some knowledge on. Please take them seriously. Thanks.


I suppose I had some signs as a younger teenager in high school of being a bit attracted to other guys but at that age it's quite normal to be curious. In high school I did masterbate a few times to the thought of being a top with a friend I knew. I certainly didn't act on the fantasy, just masterbated. I'm sure there were a few other signs that I didn't really pick up on at the time, seeing a guy I knew and feeling a bit "funny" inside but brushing it off (that type of stuff).

I was over weight In high school and had very little self confidence, this coupled with family issues could begin to explain why I am only *really* noticing my attraction to certain guys now - at 20. Since high school I've changed my life around, I exercise 6x a week, live a healthy life style and do as much as I can to keep myself grounded due to a fucked up childhood. Due to this, my self confidence is high and I've actually transformed into a really outgoing and entertaining guy. I'm out of high school and can really do whatever I want with who ever I want without the fear of being teased by classmates etc. High School really isnt a place where you can spread your wings and be an individual.

I've looked at the kinsey scale and would presume I'm somewhere in the middle of Bi-sexual and straight. I find more girls attractive then men. Maybe 80/20 split. However, after coming to terms more or less with the fact that I DO want to have sex with another guy, I havnt really been able to look at a girl in the same way that I could before I came to this realization regarding guys. It's really fucking confusing. making love to a PERSON arouses me more than a vagina or a penis. I have however always found oral and anal in straight porn the most arousing.

When i first started to realize my attraction I couldn't watch any porn at all, straight or gay. Once I became okay with my sexuality (more or less) I started to watch gay porn as well. As long as there is a femanine guy as a bottom I can get off. I have to play with myself a little bit more than usual to initiate an erection but I CAN get one from it. Vaginal penetration has never really got me up as much as Oral and anal sex has. I knew this long before I even realized I had an attraction to some guys.

One thing that's interesting about this realization is how much my mind has opened to gay sex. At first I told myself that I don't think I could go through with giving a guy oral, but I've warmed up to the idea (for example). It all stems from not wanting to sacrifice my masculinity. The testosterone that pumps through my body tells me to be the dominitive figure in the bedroom, while my mind tells me that I'd regret NOT trying something atleast once.

I've obviously never had gay sex but I suppose I would be a top. I only find effeminant gay/bi guys attractive. Almost the stereotypical gay guy, maybe a bit watered down but still femanine. If a guy is physically larger then I am I have no attraction to them. The guys I'm attracted to have to be thin and femanine - bonus if they have bitchen style. This is just personal taste but I found it really interesting.




QUESTIONS:
I'm being extremely open with these questions, simply because I know so little about what I'm asking about. Really trying to gain as much knowledge as I can. Greatful that there are sites like this to help people with their sexuality.

1) For anal sex, how far in do you have to penetrate to reach the gland (or whatever it's called)?
(I just reach 6" hard and am wondering if It'll be an issue.)

2) If your partner has a larger penis than you, would he want to be a top instead of a bottom? Does package size determing top or bottom?

3) During anal sex, can the bottom orgasm multiple times? If so, how does this work with cumming? Cum once and continue to orgasm?

4) If a top wanted to give more pleasure to the bottom, could the top not jack off the bottom while performing anal sex? Thus making the bottom cum sooner and potentially giving him a second orgasm etc..? (If anal can give more than 1 orgasm)

5) Since I'm attracted to effeminant guys, I would most likely be whole heartedly given the role of top. One of my insecurities is my effeminant and bottom partner will have a larger penis - common insecurity amoung men. Do bottoms want huge cocks or whats the deal?

6) Say I met a guy at a night club. We hit it off, dance a bit etc.. We go back to someones place and have sex. Do I stay the night? leave? or what? Does a guy want another guy to stay or leave? Remember, this is in regard to an effeminant guy.

7) As we all know, guys can ejaculate more than once in a reasonable period of time. Is it common for guys to give oral to the point of climax and then preform anal later in the night? Top would have more staying power... food for thought.

8) Does the bottom have to do any cleaning procedures prior to anal?

9) How do you stop a guy from hitting on you in a club setting?

10) I would assume that gay sex puts much less pressure on both participants to please the other. For example, if the top climaxed before the bottom during anal, all the top would have to do if give oral until the bottom climaxes. Is this true?

11) Do gay guys find bi-curious guys MORE or LESS attractive? The idea being that he's primarily straight, kind of like a "rare treat" i guess one could call it. I would think that it would be more attractive because if I had the chance to sleep with a hot bi-curious lesbian I would.

12) Is fingering/tongueing the anus a common practice? And do bottoms enjoy/want something like that done?


Thanks in advance to anyone who sheds some light on my questions.

[Latitude22]

You don't have to address all of the questions, if you have experience or an opinion about one or more of my questions, pease feel free to share.

I realize this thread is pretty "indepth" but where else better to get information regarding this than an online community? Pretty anonymous and one can ask/answer anything he or she sees fit - even something as delicate as this.

Thanks

[CardShark]

Most of your questions are dependant on variants.

Can you cum multiple times?
Not normally!

Does a top/bottom like etc...
Depends on the person really.

Your questions are difficult to answer, it can only be targeted towards 1 person you cannot say to bottoms like big cocks? because a lot of peoples opinions on the subject vary.

noone is the same.

[Latitude22]

Most of your questions are dependant on variants.

Can you cum multiple times?
Not normally!

Does a top/bottom like etc...
Depends on the person really.

Your questions are difficult to answer, it can only be targeted towards 1 person you cannot say to bottoms like big cocks? because a lot of peoples opinions on the subject vary.

noone is the same.

While my questions may be difficult to answer, one could still share an opinion regarding them (if they were comfortable descussing it).

I know my questions are pretty explicite, but if I had any experience with any of this and someone required advice/insight into it, I'd help a brotha out.

I understand what your saying about everyone being an individual with different likes and dislikes.

[Dizzybeatle]

1) For anal sex, how far in do you have to penetrate to reach the gland (or whatever it's called)?

2) If your partner has a larger penis than you, would he want to be a top instead of a bottom? Does package size determing top or bottom?

3) During anal sex, can the bottom orgasm multiple times? If so, how does this work with cumming? Cum once and continue to orgasm?

4) If a top wanted to give more pleasure to the bottom, could the top not jack off the bottom while performing anal sex? Thus making the bottom cum sooner and potentially giving him a second orgasm etc..? (If anal can give more than 1 orgasm)

5) Since I'm attracted to effeminant guys, I would most likely be whole heartedly given the role of top. One of my insecurities is my effeminant and bottom partner will have a larger penis - common insecurity amoung men. Do bottoms want huge cocks or whats the deal?

6) Say I met a guy at a night club. We hit it off, dance a bit etc.. We go back to someones place and have sex. Do I stay the night? leave? or what? Does a guy want another guy to stay or leave? Remember, this is in regard to an effeminant guy.

7) As we all know, guys can ejaculate more than once in a reasonable period of time. Is it common for guys to give oral to the point of climax and then preform anal later in the night? Top would have more staying power... food for thought.

8) Does the bottom have to do any cleaning procedures prior to anal?

9) How do you stop a guy from hitting on you in a club setting?

10) I would assume that gay sex puts much less pressure on both participants to please the other. For example, if the top climaxed before the bottom during anal, all the top would have to do if give oral until the bottom climaxes. Is this true?

11) Do gay guys find bi-curious guys MORE or LESS attractive? The idea being that he's primarily straight, kind of like a "rare treat" i guess one could call it. I would think that it would be more attractive because if I had the chance to sleep with a hot bi-curious lesbian I would.

12) Is fingering/tongueing the anus a common practice? And do bottoms enjoy/want something like that done?

1) No idea, never done it
2) They can be where they want, I am not fussy
3) Never done it, so I cant say
4) I guess s, interest in the sex can die once the first person cums though :/
5) I think that varies with the person, but effeminate people probably wont mind
6) Erm, well, thats up to you two. Ask him ~ I wouldnt mind someone staying over
7) That is done quite alot, it depends how many times you wanna cum I guess lol
8) Erm, most gay guys are clean before sex so probably not - but be safe
9) Tell them your not interested?
10) As I said before, not necessarily. The first person to cum may become less interested in making the second person cum
11) Erm, sometimes, but it depends on preference. To me, it makes no difference
12) Well I wouldnt know too much, I have never done it and dont want to do it. But yeah, it is pretty common. Doesnt mean the bottom will want to have it done though, me being proof of that

Hope that helps hehe

[marshlander]

I think you got closest to answering your own questions when you observed that "making love to a PERSON arouses me more than a vagina or a penis".

It is not a cop-out to say that everyone is different. You might think that a bit of rubbing is all that is required to make a guy cum, but is often far less simple than that. All sorts of things can affect the performance and pleasure of either party in a sexual encounter. To my mind you are concerning yourself rather too much with the mechanics of the process and actually not taking account of the person involved. Of course you won't know for sure what is going to please him until you getting on with it.

Regarding stimulating the prostate, it is more a question of getting the angle right than the length of your penis. It is also true to say that some men are more sensitive to prostate and anal stimulation than others. For many it is a question of learning how to respond to such stimulation. The feeling is quite different from just playing with your penis. You could try some anal play with yourself to get a "feel" for what is happening while you are masturbating.

As Card Shark says, penis size has nothing to do with preference for topping or bottoming. I suspect that the majority of gay men are not exclusively "top" or "bottom" anyway. What's the point? That would be like trying to play straight

Your questions about multiple orgasms seem influenced by the hype around tantric sex (Sting's got a hell of a lot to answer for!) and the sales literature about prostate stimulation toys. If these things really happen they take a fair bit of practice and most men will never in their lives experience more than the number of orgasms they normally enjoy when masturbating.

Again your questions about so-called effeminate men might be seen as not only naive, but also demeaning. We are talking about people here. If you want to know what people think, you might need to have a conversation with them. Gay men are allowed to talk when having sex, it's in the rules ... unless you are in a cottage, when no word may be spoken

If you meet someone in a club and you go home with them for sex, you'll soon know whether he wants you to stay the night. As a guide, if he hands you your clothes and holds the door open for you he probably wants you to go. If there is any doubt, ask if he wants you to stay. It's that talking thing again! Remember, if he's met you in a club he doesn't know you from Adam. He might not feel comfortable with a stranger in the house while he's asleep. That is not necessarily a slight on you.

Cleaning procedures ...? Well, a shower would probably be appreciated. Having sex with someone who smells horrible is not nice, although I suppose some like it. Some people also douche before anal sex. Many don't bother. If you think it's going to be a problem get to grips with the procedures in privacy first. I've never knowingly met anyone who demanded that their partner douche. You'll be wearing a condom anyway. Shit happens ... sometimes :eek: If it does, deal with it.

Why would you ever want to stop a guy hitting on you in a club setting? It is flattering to be approached. You are quite at liberty to say, "thanks, but no thanks" if you don't fancy him.

[fredv3b]

Lattitude,

A question for you. Are you interested in anything more than sex with a guy? If you are which is more important?

You might think that a bit of rubbing is all that is required to make a guy cum, but is often far less simple than that.

Sex is 10% friction, 90% fantasy.

[marshlander]

... Sex is 10% friction, 90% fantasy.

Had to look twice to see that!

[fjp999]

QUESTIONS:
I'm being extremely open with these questions, simply because I know so little about what I'm asking about. Really trying to gain as much knowledge as I can. Greatful that there are sites like this to help people with their sexuality.

1) For anal sex, how far in do you have to penetrate to reach the gland (or whatever it's called)?
(I just reach 6" hard and am wondering if It'll be an issue.)

Not an issue if you can find it on your partner.... finger can find it so no problem with a 6er.

2) If your partner has a larger penis than you, would he want to be a top instead of a bottom? Does package size determing top or bottom?

NO

3) During anal sex, can the bottom orgasm multiple times? If so, how does this work with cumming? Cum once and continue to orgasm?

bottom or top is not important... some men can have multiple orgasms with or without gaining a second hard-on. It may be more of a delay thing??? I often reach orgasm twice but again, it is a bit weird and may be a delay thing.

4) If a top wanted to give more pleasure to the bottom, could the top not jack off the bottom while performing anal sex? Thus making the bottom cum sooner and potentially giving him a second orgasm etc..? (If anal can give more than 1 orgasm)

Sure.

5) Since I'm attracted to effeminant guys, I would most likely be whole heartedly given the role of top. One of my insecurities is my effeminant and bottom partner will have a larger penis - common insecurity amoung men. Do bottoms want huge cocks or whats the deal?

Depends on the bottom, get over your insecurity!

6) Say I met a guy at a night club. We hit it off, dance a bit etc.. We go back to someones place and have sex. Do I stay the night? leave? or what? Does a guy want another guy to stay or leave? Remember, this is in regard to an effeminant guy.

[COLOR="Purple"]OMG, this is such a funny question... um, in regard to an effeminate guy.. um... he usually wants a muscle daddy to rape him, feed him, cloth him, pay for his sex change operation... things like that...

Sorry dude but someone gotta pound it into ya that every body is different and generalizations will get you only to a certain point...

Please dont take offense as there are NO stupid questions...[/COLOR]

7) As we all know, guys can ejaculate more than once in a reasonable period of time. Is it common for guys to give oral to the point of climax and then preform anal later in the night? Top would have more staying power... food for thought.

Sure. I have gone on all nite for months.... six seven hours... "round the world" a number of dozen times...

8) Does the bottom have to do any cleaning procedures prior to anal?

In general NO. Go poo before you have sex and it will usually clean ya out for anal sex. There are NO guarantees so dont be surprised if you get a surprise.

9) How do you stop a guy from hitting on you in a club setting?

[COLOR="purple"]Depends on how far he goes... if he is chatting you up and it gets to a sexual point JUST SAY NO!
If he has his hand down your pants then you are permitted to step on his foot with your high heel.

You could also get a tattoo asking no one to hit on you![/COLOR]

10) I would assume that gay sex puts much less pressure on both participants to please the other. For example, if the top climaxed before the bottom during anal, all the top would have to do if give oral until the bottom climaxes. Is this true?

Well, the question and the example are a bit confusing... you are pleasing the other after cumming by giving oral. Very good manners.

11) Do gay guys find bi-curious guys MORE or LESS attractive? The idea being that he's primarily straight, kind of like a "rare treat" i guess one could call it. I would think that it would be more attractive because if I had the chance to sleep with a hot bi-curious lesbian I would.

[COLOR="purple"]ALL THESE LABELS... SCARY!!!

Word on the street with gays is that the MOST attractive is heteros, just married or with a preggers wife... if the kid is already born then word is that it is still pretty hot...[/COLOR]

12) Is fingering/tongueing the anus a common practice? And do bottoms enjoy/want something like that done?

[COLOR="purple"]yes yes yes... just make sure you cut your fingernails or wear those gloves... if youre going to tongue then you probably should get your hep b shots.

Oh, yeah, not one mention of condoms... hope you have that question taken care of. [/COLOR]


Thanks in advance to anyone who sheds some light on my questions.

OMG, that was a LOT of work... hopefully Latitude22 is buying drinks

[Latitude22]

MARSHLANDER

To my mind you are concerning yourself rather too much with the mechanics of the process and actually not taking account of the person involved. Of course you won't know for sure what is going to please him until you getting on with it.

I must apologize if I've come across as an ignorant, horny, 20 y/o kid, due to the fact that all of my questions were sex related and quite involved and explicite. Kids these days are taught about straight sex in school, I myself knew the basic mechanics of straight sex in grade six from what I was taught and ofcourse the gossip from other kids. There are certainly not as many resourses available to learn about gay sex. I don't find these questions really offensive or "bad" to ask about, it's really no different then learning about straight sex in school or from ones parents; sex ed. is important.

Regarding stimulating the prostate, it is more a question of getting the angle right than the length of your penis. It is also true to say that some men are more sensitive to prostate and anal stimulation than others. For many it is a question of learning how to respond to such stimulation. The feeling is quite different from just playing with your penis. You could try some anal play with yourself to get a "feel" for what is happening while you are masturbating.


This is really good advice and insight. I'll eventually try some "anal play" but I want to take things one step at a time in order for my mind, body and sexuality to grow. Things will fall into place when the time is right.

As Card Shark says, penis size has nothing to do with preference for topping or bottoming. I suspect that the majority of gay men are not exclusively "top" or "bottom" anyway. What's thepoint? That would be like trying to play straight

While I can see your point, and I'm not totally against being a bottom once in awhile; it certainly wouldn't be during the first few same sex experiences. It's all a matter of what I'd feel comfortable doing during the early stages of a relationship, if said relationship matures and I really trust my partner, I'd be willing to try bottom.


Again your questions about so-called effeminate men might be seen as not only naive, but also demeaning. We are talking about people here. If you want to know what people think, you might need to have a conversation with them. Gay men are allowed to talk when having sex, it's in the rules ... unless you are in a cottage, when no word may be spoken

I really had no idea I was being demeaning, I'll fully admit I'm naive when it comes to everything Im inquiring about. I only wanted to express that I have a definite preference to gay guys whom have a tendency to show femanine characteristics. It's not all about sex, I am completely open to a relationship whether that be with a guy or a girl, as long as it's someone I really enjoy spending time with and build a relationship with. I've read blogs and articles online regarding same sex relationships, I wanted to know the similarities and diferences in comparison to a straight relationship. I certainly havn't scratched the paint on this subject as most of my experience will come from getting out there and dating etc. I realize that the people I'll meet in the future are all individuals whom have jobs, families and lives.


If you meet someone in a club and you go home with them for sex, you'll soon know whether he wants you to stay the night. As a guide, if he hands you your clothes and holds the door open for you he probably wants you to go. If there is any doubt, ask if he wants you to stay. It's that talking thing again! Remember, if he's met you in a club he doesn't know you from Adam. He might not feel comfortable with a stranger in the house while he's asleep. That is not necessarily a slight on you.

Good point. I'm not one to go home with a random person I meet at a club no matter how much we hit it off. I don't do it at straight clubs and when I go to a gay club It'll be the same. It would be nice to meet someone though and enchange numbers but I shouldn't have any expectations.


Why would you ever want to stop a guy hitting on you in a club setting? It is flattering to be approached. You are quite at liberty to say, "thanks, but no thanks" if you don't fancy him.

[SIZE=2]I would definitally be flattered but I just wanted to know how you guys go about doing it.



Just trying to soak up as much information as I can so I'm not "caught with my pants down" when the moment of truth arrives. (hows that for an awesome play on words)
It's better I get advice from an online community then learn from sleeping around etc. It's not all about sex but sex is a part of a relationship. I am also 20 so sue me for asking those questions.
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