Ex-partner won't return my stuff...? nor answer my messages?
07-01-2016, 05:02 PM
Hi everyone. I'm very confused right now.
*We were seeing each other for about a month. The time we spent together was nice and but it went downhill (emotionally). From my side, it was due to the stress I was under because of college. I also think it was because I showed interest in commitment too early in the relationship (it was my mistake...and also my first time trying it out with someone else). I'm assuming he was more into the idea of an open relationship but he never spoke openly about this.
*One of the nights I went over to his apartment, I distractedly left some DVDs behind.
*A few days after that, I approach him because I wasn't sure of what was going on between us. We decide to go out later that night. I got high to calm myself down because I was super nervous, which totally backfired. I started sobbing and saying things that did not make much sense. It was a rough night but we were pretty civil with each other. I wasn't clear if he was "breaking up" with me or not. I was not sure if I wanted to stay over with him that night either, so I bring the DVDs up. He makes it clear he does not want me to stay over, and refuses to give them to me (I could have just waited outside while he went go look for them...)
*He messages me the next day. During the conversation he brings up the DVDs saying they're in good conditions. I tell him I wasn't worried about that (I trusted he would take care of them).
*No contact for a month. I then bump into him while I was hanging out with a friend. He seemed happy to see me, says hi to me, calls me baby, kisses me on the cheek. We don't talk to each other for much longer but at the end of the night, we both end up with the same group of people. My friend suggests I invite him to do something later that same night. I choose not to.
*Instead, I follow her advice the following day: I call him. He mentions that my friend got a hold of the keys to his apartment by accident. I ask him if he wants me to give him her number, or if I go pick them up for him. He chooses the latter. During the same call, I ask him out to do something the following night. He says yes, but that he might have to leave town to visit his parents.
*The next day, he texts me that he had already spoken with my friend about the keys, but "she told me she gave them to you..." which was confusing... and that he's going to visit his parents (he's honest about this stuff) so he needed his keys. I go by his friend's apartment to give them to him. We have the most normal conversation ever without "talking about us." Since we couldn't hang out that day, and since everything seemed OK, I ask him if he wants to do something next week. He says yes, and says goodbye with a kiss near the mouth.
*A week after that (two weeks ago), I bump into him (again). He's with a friend. I'm assuming they're seeing each other (I had hung out with them before, and his friend kind of hit on him most of the time, which I let slide because I was not feeling jealous). So, that night, I call him three times. No answer. I text him for my DVDs back. He says, "sure, how about tomorrow after noon." I say, "why not now?" since I knew he was at his apartment at the time (he lives near where we were hanging out). No answer.
*A week after that (a week ago), I text him again. No answer.
It all sounds like he has moved on, but it's just weird to me that he won't answer me nor give me my stuff back! Especially since I did him the favor of giving him his keys. Nothing AWFUL happened between us either...no real reason to stop talking to each other completely, imo. I asked my friend (the one who took his keys by accident) to talk to him, so that he could give her the DVDs, but she has not messaged him yet. I feel powerless. He's apparently put me "on hold" by not giving me back my stuff because he still has feelings for me (that's what I've gathered from other threads), or he may think it's just an excuse so I could see him again, or he's just being rude (not what I expect from him, honestly). What should I do?
*We were seeing each other for about a month. The time we spent together was nice and but it went downhill (emotionally). From my side, it was due to the stress I was under because of college. I also think it was because I showed interest in commitment too early in the relationship (it was my mistake...and also my first time trying it out with someone else). I'm assuming he was more into the idea of an open relationship but he never spoke openly about this.
*One of the nights I went over to his apartment, I distractedly left some DVDs behind.
*A few days after that, I approach him because I wasn't sure of what was going on between us. We decide to go out later that night. I got high to calm myself down because I was super nervous, which totally backfired. I started sobbing and saying things that did not make much sense. It was a rough night but we were pretty civil with each other. I wasn't clear if he was "breaking up" with me or not. I was not sure if I wanted to stay over with him that night either, so I bring the DVDs up. He makes it clear he does not want me to stay over, and refuses to give them to me (I could have just waited outside while he went go look for them...)
*He messages me the next day. During the conversation he brings up the DVDs saying they're in good conditions. I tell him I wasn't worried about that (I trusted he would take care of them).
*No contact for a month. I then bump into him while I was hanging out with a friend. He seemed happy to see me, says hi to me, calls me baby, kisses me on the cheek. We don't talk to each other for much longer but at the end of the night, we both end up with the same group of people. My friend suggests I invite him to do something later that same night. I choose not to.
*Instead, I follow her advice the following day: I call him. He mentions that my friend got a hold of the keys to his apartment by accident. I ask him if he wants me to give him her number, or if I go pick them up for him. He chooses the latter. During the same call, I ask him out to do something the following night. He says yes, but that he might have to leave town to visit his parents.
*The next day, he texts me that he had already spoken with my friend about the keys, but "she told me she gave them to you..." which was confusing... and that he's going to visit his parents (he's honest about this stuff) so he needed his keys. I go by his friend's apartment to give them to him. We have the most normal conversation ever without "talking about us." Since we couldn't hang out that day, and since everything seemed OK, I ask him if he wants to do something next week. He says yes, and says goodbye with a kiss near the mouth.
*A week after that (two weeks ago), I bump into him (again). He's with a friend. I'm assuming they're seeing each other (I had hung out with them before, and his friend kind of hit on him most of the time, which I let slide because I was not feeling jealous). So, that night, I call him three times. No answer. I text him for my DVDs back. He says, "sure, how about tomorrow after noon." I say, "why not now?" since I knew he was at his apartment at the time (he lives near where we were hanging out). No answer.
*A week after that (a week ago), I text him again. No answer.
It all sounds like he has moved on, but it's just weird to me that he won't answer me nor give me my stuff back! Especially since I did him the favor of giving him his keys. Nothing AWFUL happened between us either...no real reason to stop talking to each other completely, imo. I asked my friend (the one who took his keys by accident) to talk to him, so that he could give her the DVDs, but she has not messaged him yet. I feel powerless. He's apparently put me "on hold" by not giving me back my stuff because he still has feelings for me (that's what I've gathered from other threads), or he may think it's just an excuse so I could see him again, or he's just being rude (not what I expect from him, honestly). What should I do?
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