Hi all, I have known I liked guys since high school, I enjoyed P.E for the wrong reasons lol.
Anyway as my 32nd now approaches I really do feel happy with who and what I am as it were.
I came out to a good friend many years ago but due to his religion our friendship was not meant to be. I have not come out to anyone else since. I know I am gay, I like what I see in guys but just don't know if I can come out to the family.
I have never had a gf or anyone to that matter and I think due to this family members sort of have an idea.
I have now got to the point in my life where I want to find someone and have that special someone in my life but should I come out or just do my own thing and start to look for Mr right ? And to that matter, how the hell do you even start lol
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
•
Posts: 5,805
Threads: 221
Joined: Nov 2015
Reputation:
7
I'm a : Gay Man in a Monogamous Gay Relationship
Starsign:  Leo
Mood:
Depends on your circumstances... I honestly can't see myself being friends with someone who would not be friends due to their religions, poor excuse to be an asshole. Anyway, coming out to your family can be a bit tricky, particularly if they're religious...that, if anything is usually the problem. That being said members of you family may still be religious and just not have a problem with you being gay.
My advice is to get out there and start dating, it takes practice and well all deal with things like crushes and sexual desire differently. If you're totally new to everything, dating, sex and so forth it will be a learning curve.
I think if we are entitled to anything in life that is to live our lives as we please, so long as you're not stepping on someone else... "Look out for number one but don't step in (on) number two."
Well there's no right or wrong way to look for people to date, hell I have a hard time finding people to date. We're a much smaller population with more ways to classify and different needs.. Some guys are tops, some are bottoms... some are kinky, some are plain Jane....It does make it much more difficult to find someone you like as a person and in bed. There are gay dating apps, however you will find that many many guys just want to hook up for sex, although just have to hope for someone who actually wanting a relationship. Point is, go ahead and get out there and see what happens.
"I’m not expecting to grow flowers in a desert, but I can live and breathe and see the sun in wintertime"
Check out my stuff!
•
Posts: 2,664
Threads: 0
Joined: Jun 2014
Reputation:
0
Mood: None
I was in your same shoes once... it's hard to come out (of the closet) when you can't find the door. 
I'm not sure that I really have much advice. Each experience is unique to the individual. I will say that it's probably not going to be some all at once explosion, and will be more in baby steps as you experience and adapt to your new 'gay' environment, if you're anything like I was with lofty ideals of being out, making gay friends, and finding a boyfriend and living happily ever after with fluffy bunnies and unicorns. 
•
Borg69 Wrote:I was in your same shoes once... it's hard to come out (of the closet) when you can't find the door.
I'm not sure that I really have much advice. Each experience is unique to the individual. I will say that it's probably not going to be some all at once explosion, and will be more in baby steps as you experience and adapt to your new 'gay' environment, if you're anything like I was with lofty ideals of being out, making gay friends, and finding a boyfriend and living happily ever after with fluffy bunnies and unicorns.
I know it all takes time and things will not happen over night as it were, I just look forward to been myself and with any luck one day finding that special guy.
Thanks Borg for the reply.
•
Mr. Right will come if you will be happy with your self.
•
I waited for years to come out to my parents (in fact I never "came out" to my dad, I reckon) because I thought I would do it when I actually had a boyfriend or lover that made it all worth while and necessary. But some people feel they need to come out of the closet just to validate that they have that particular sexual orientation and those kinds of love interests. How difficult do you reckon it will be telling your parents? Have you got siblings? If so, would you consider telling one of your siblings first as backup support, in case it doesn't go down too well with your parents? Have you got a favourite aunt or uncle or cousin to whom you could disclose this? Someone, once more, who would have your best interest at heart? Or maybe even a friend of the family who could act as such? That's always a good place to start.
•
Posts: 2,698
Threads: 34
Joined: May 2014
Reputation:
0
Starsign:  Capricorn
Mood: None
ADT Wrote:Hi all, I have known I liked guys since high school, I enjoyed P.E for the wrong reasons lol.
Anyway as my 32nd now approaches I really do feel happy with who and what I am as it were.
I came out to a good friend many years ago but due to his religion our friendship was not meant to be. I have not come out to anyone else since. I know I am gay, I like what I see in guys but just don't know if I can come out to the family.
I have never had a gf or anyone to that matter and I think due to this family members sort of have an idea.
I have now got to the point in my life where I want to find someone and have that special someone in my life but should I come out or just do my own thing and start to look for Mr right ? And to that matter, how the hell do you even start lol
I think it is more important to BE out than "come" out. What I mean to say here is, DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO. Let yourself have your own wishes and desires... actually act on them rather than just fantasize them... and learn from *experience* rather than just "thinking". Get beyond the thinking into the doing and the "coming out" will just happen naturally.
At some point people around you will just notice, "OH HE'S GAY!" Well, duh. Don't make it any more of a huge deal than need be. People have sex. ALL KINDS OF SEX... and, trust me, when I tell you it isn't as neat and tidy as a, b, c (straight, gay, bi). WAY more complicated.
But the point is, people FUCK and enjoy it and that's GREAT! ... You don't even have to put a label on it if you don't want. Just enjoy your life.. .including your sex life.
.
•
MikeW Wrote:I think it is more important to BE out than "come" out. What I mean to say here is, DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO. Let yourself have your own wishes and desires... actually act on them rather than just fantasize them... and learn from *experience* rather than just "thinking". Get beyond the thinking into the doing and the "coming out" will just happen naturally.
At some point people around you will just notice, "OH HE'S GAY!" Well, duh. Don't make it any more of a huge deal than need be. People have sex. ALL KINDS OF SEX... and, trust me, when I tell you it isn't as neat and tidy as a, b, c (straight, gay, bi). WAY more complicated.
But the point is, people FUCK and enjoy it and that's GREAT! ... You don't even have to put a label on it if you don't want. Just enjoy your life.. .including your sex life.
Yeah, the family will figure it out when you bring your guy to meet the family... that's one way of coming out.
•
Hi ADT. How's it hanging?
You come out when you are ready to come out, not when pressured (by others or yourself) to do so.
Finding someone to love is something else. No point putting that off. Maybe if you find someone, it will make the coming out a less lonely experience for you? Let us know what you do.
Any cute guys in Hereford or just cattle? Haha. If there are cattle, there must be farm boys. They're the best, you know.
•
Whatever you do, DO NOT deny yourself. I spent 36 years in the closet and regret most of it. you still have time to live your life fully. Officially coming out is not mandatory, However, if you are bringing someone home without having come out, PLEASE don't do it on a sacred holiday,
•
|
Coming out advice.
