07-10-2016, 06:32 PM
Hey I am new on here and just wanted to get some things of my chest.
I am 31 years old and had been with my boyfriend aged 28 since May 2015 , we had a pretty intense and busy start to it, we both have anxiety and other mental health issues , he has his own place and is doing a PHD , I am now at my folks although used to be at his a lot.
Last October I left my job of 7 years to start a new position near him in a very busy retail role- sadly this did not work out I had to leave after my anxiety , we agreed not to tell his family as they are very protective of him.
Just before Christmas he got really drunk and came home he called me scum and pathetic and said that he had put up with a lot more than me and I was weak for being a recovering alcoholic.
I left but we made up the next day , In January he had another episode but we made up, he would still text me sometimes saying he deserved better , I took my old job back and things were good again , I got excited about the college ball as he had wanted me to go ages before- I saw a poster for it but he said it was booked up, weeks later he said it wasn't but because he could not say he was proud of me.
I got over this and we continued along - he finishes his studies this summer and has been very stressed, then two weekends ago we had another bust up, I was foolish and made the error of having a sip of the dregs of wine in one of his empty bottles. He was very angry and said he did not need this. I agreed we would stay together and I would see him in mid July after his studies ended, we spoke on the phone daily and it seemed good, then he announced on Tuesday he was done and could not forgive me for my actions.
I texted asking him to take me back and he said no , then I did again and then sent a long e mail saying how I felt and would change, he said that his feelings have diminished for me in recent months and that his drinking has increased due to my putting on him and his medication dose has also gone up.
I should add that I would often seek re-assurance a lot and have thought loops- I saw a therapist this spring and was discharged from it. I feel very odd at the moment and am devastated - I came out at 26 and he has been the first guy I have loved as much, I know this is rambling and I just needed to vent.
I am 31 years old and had been with my boyfriend aged 28 since May 2015 , we had a pretty intense and busy start to it, we both have anxiety and other mental health issues , he has his own place and is doing a PHD , I am now at my folks although used to be at his a lot.
Last October I left my job of 7 years to start a new position near him in a very busy retail role- sadly this did not work out I had to leave after my anxiety , we agreed not to tell his family as they are very protective of him.
Just before Christmas he got really drunk and came home he called me scum and pathetic and said that he had put up with a lot more than me and I was weak for being a recovering alcoholic.
I left but we made up the next day , In January he had another episode but we made up, he would still text me sometimes saying he deserved better , I took my old job back and things were good again , I got excited about the college ball as he had wanted me to go ages before- I saw a poster for it but he said it was booked up, weeks later he said it wasn't but because he could not say he was proud of me.
I got over this and we continued along - he finishes his studies this summer and has been very stressed, then two weekends ago we had another bust up, I was foolish and made the error of having a sip of the dregs of wine in one of his empty bottles. He was very angry and said he did not need this. I agreed we would stay together and I would see him in mid July after his studies ended, we spoke on the phone daily and it seemed good, then he announced on Tuesday he was done and could not forgive me for my actions.
I texted asking him to take me back and he said no , then I did again and then sent a long e mail saying how I felt and would change, he said that his feelings have diminished for me in recent months and that his drinking has increased due to my putting on him and his medication dose has also gone up.
I should add that I would often seek re-assurance a lot and have thought loops- I saw a therapist this spring and was discharged from it. I feel very odd at the moment and am devastated - I came out at 26 and he has been the first guy I have loved as much, I know this is rambling and I just needed to vent.
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Aries
