So SORRY, I'M Back

[JimmyEcho]

I've been doing Well.
Controlling myself, got off the ALCOHOL, until last weeek!!!!
I DRANK last Saturday and went to my local Gay bar.
Now
, before I went I really thought out what I was doing AND I KNEW IT WAS A ROTTEN IDEA TO GO!!!!!!!
However with the Vodka flowing through me I threw Caution to the wind and went against my better judgement ------(which I had none of because of the alcohol)

As soon as I walked into the Bar
(Mind you of course, I'm looking my best, I haven't been drinking, I've been working out and looking Super Hot)

Anyway, after a few drinks which I haven't done in 4 months I got this liquid courage and said to myself ----Screw it ----I'm hitting the Gay Bar

as soon as I walked in Jay was all around me. He is a sorry soul who I take Pitty on in the past and still did. He means well, but is very needy and hangs on me.

THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN I WAS TAKEN OFF GUARD!!!!!!!
IT WAS TYLER THE GUY I PRETENDED TO BE GAY WITH IN THE PAST!!!!!

we started talking and I mean Really hit it off!!!! well!!!!
Just like old war buddies
He said what ever happen to us?
After he said that---It took everything and all the strength I had Not to Cry.

My God this is the BEST PERSON in the world.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!!!! IT'S NOT THAT HE IS GAY-------IT'S THE FACT OF WHAT A SPECKTACTULAR PERSON HE IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel a deep rooted attraction towards him
AND IF I WAS IN MY RIGHT MIND AND GAY I WOULDN'T BE TYPING THIS, I WOULD BE WITH HIM RIGHT NOW LAYING IN BED.

I truely hate myself. Why can't I be Gay. He and I would be SOOOOO perfect together.
DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[princealbertofb]

Jimmy, I think you are not letting yourself enjoy life, being in love with a man doesn't need to be labeled in any way, gay, bi or anything else. Why don't you just admit that you have a fondness, a crush or a deep yearning for this man's company and just do it? Or have I misunderstood that Tyler is (not?) gay? Is it just you who isn't gay? What sort of representation of gay have you got in your head? Is it that you are not into the sexual stuff? If he can't be a lover, then why can't you just make him your good friend. Friends are allowed to enjoy time together. But again, it could be the alcohol talking. I think you need to sort your ideas out when you're sober again. Just try not to lie to yourself.

[JohnMusic]

it sounds like you are gay and will not except it.

[Darius]

Don't worry, you're gay. Your thread is the gayest I've ever read. Posting drunk is pretty gay, too.

[Sylph]

Don't worry, you're gay. Your thread is the gayest I've ever read. Posting drunk is pretty gay, too.

I need to post drunk more then.

I need more gay in my life