Hello, I suffer from bipolar disorder and I'm actually on disability. I am very stable complying with my treatment. I'm actually working with Vocational Rehab to receive help for school and work. I feel optimistic about the future. When do you guys think is the best time to disclose my health condition to a potential partner? After how many dates?
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That's a little difficult to answer because I think each person reacts differently when they hear about bipolar disorder. Those who are well informed will know that if you have it managed through proper medication it's not an issue, others will not have that level of understanding. I would say it's more important to find someone who understands the condition than figuring out when to tell your partner. If you really want a timeline though I'd say maybe a month or two after being involved with someone.
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What Boaxy described happen to me, holding a knife to me or trying to break a chair on my head, it is frightning and not fair to the other person, get help man. Take your medication before getting someone else involved and have them suffer for it. I did suffer cause I liked that person but his actions hurt me the most. It is called a sickness, take your med.
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Thanks Boaxy. Well I wish him all the best, it was something that really brought me down and he was always verbally abusing. Now that it is over, I will never let anyone treat me that way, cause in all honesty I did not know if he meant it or it was a joke.
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[MENTION=23723]DGOMAR[/MENTION], I don't know much about bipolar people nor how they cope to manage the condition. It would be unsettling for anyone getting very much attached to you not to know that you were suffering from this condition. Your question is after how many dates? That is something difficult to answer because it all depends on how much you really know about a person before you go on the first date, and then on how quickly you get involved after the first date anyway. How much are you supposed to find out from a person after a first date, to decide that a second date is a good one? We are not talking about just sheer physical attraction here. The relationship will have to have a whole new dimension. So my first clue would be, how much do I know about this date to confide in them with something rather intimate and potentially a bit of a bomb?
Well, if you're getting a second date, then something is happening for both of you, otherwise the initial date would be a one-off. I'd say that on a second or third date (depending on how much you get to know about each other during those subsequent dates) would maybe be a good time to disclose the condition, so that the other person knows what they're dealing with, or might have to deal with, so they can see that with your meds the condition is being handled (maybe they won't have noticed that anything was 'wrong').
It would also help to let them know how they can tell when you start going bipolar, get them interested in the condition, its manifestations when unmedicated, and how they can help you if they see you in that state. (This is when you can tell them an interesting story about your condition, and how someone or you handled it). If the condition is too much for your date to handle in a love / friendship relationship, well, isn't it better for you to find out before things go too far? I'd say, you'd be doing both of you a favour by disclosing it quite early, but maybe not on a first date, unless you have found out enough from each other and then realise that there is a potential relationship developing then.
As to how to bring it up, there's the series Shameless (American version) in which Ian is bipolar, like his mother, and if your date knows the series you could tell them that it's a reflection of what it's like for you (if you also know the character in the series - by the way Ian is also gay). There are also a few famous people who suffer from the condition like Steven Fry (who probably has some YouTubes about it) Direct them towards some of that information, or some sites that explain what it is, how it can be dealt with... It might be your way into a relationship, because some people are carers. Good luck with those date, DGOMAR.
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I would tell the person right away.
if they have a problem with it you are not wasting your time.
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I'm not bipolar, but I do deal with severe depression and suicidal tendencies.
With [MENTION=20938]Gideon[/MENTION] and myself, I believe I told him after the first couple of weeks, if I remember correctly. Granted, I was trying to convince him to reject me and walk away, yeah? But the timeline was good for us.
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