Feel like Im cursed being Bi

[Lycanking55]

Hi again, I took a little hiatus from overthinking this and just sort of looked at it more objectively and I wanted to give an update, although im not sure anyone wants one. I'm in a better place with this then I was when I originally posted. By no means do I have much of it actually figured out yet, but I feel a little better about continuing to try.

The girl im with is really awesome and I care about her a lot. The "just sort of happened" part wasn't a negative at all, it just developed very naturally and I wasn't actively looking for someone at the time is all.

I feel like I will at one point or another have to talk to her about this because its a part of me, but im still extremely nervous about it. Whether the result is discussing strap ons or me experimenting with a guy to see if its something I truly like or desire, Im afraid she'll look at me differently knowing about any of this. Im afraid that just the discussion, whether she says shes ok with it or not or does or doesn't enjoy it, will be enough for her not to be as attracted to me. Even more than that, im afraid of losing her. I know she would never freak out or be cruel about this, shes kind and has no problem with what others like to do, but much like sexuality and I feel to an extent your kinks aren't choice, I know she cant choose how she would feel about it. Whether she would be attracted to a guy thats into these kind of things isn't choice.

Thats really the heart of my fear I guess, the "what she'll think of me" and losing her. Its the underlying part of why this was an issue in the first place. Anyway, I want to thank you guys again for talking. Its been way more of weight off knowing theirs a community out here to help than I expected it to be.

[InbetweenDreams]

Well if you ask me it comes down to how important sex in general is, how do you feel about exploring sex with a guy....do you see yourself being in a romantic relationship with a guy?

I didn't go through everyone's replies but perhaps they need asking again since you have had a couple months to think on things....

I will say the possibility of things getting complex between you and your partner is pretty high, just depends on how deeply involved she is with you and how she feels about gay people in general... I mean if she's a Jesus freak yeah probably not going to go well, but even if she is cool with LGBT doesn't mean it's a free pass. Hopefully someone could add in on a similar experience or better advice on that...

I can relate to the whole bisexual thing being a curse. While I am pretty much gay I do still test about 60/40 predominantly gay but I still say that's pretty much bi. The only different I haven't been in an adult relationship with a girl (meaning I haven't dated a girl since I was in High School), nor have I had sex with a girl so my problem is that if I wanted to experiment with a girl, or date a girl I'm most likely going to be clueless on so many things, kids, sex with women, etc... It can be the same way with guys, there is the worry factor, but while there are plenty of jerks who think you should fuck like a pornstar there are a lot of nice guys that know what you're going through and aren't going to try to take advantage of you either -- that all comes down to being a good judge of character.

I don't know your girlfriend so I don't know how she would take you wanting to explore your sexuality with a guy, but my gut instinct is it will most likely not go over so well... Nor can I advocate cheating on her either... This is one of those gray areas and was talked about on here in another thread, lots of opinions...

[kindy64]

I feel like I will at one point or another have to talk to her about this because its a part of me, but im still extremely nervous about it. Whether the result is discussing strap ons or me experimenting with a guy to see if its something I truly like or desire, Im afraid she'll look at me differently knowing about any of this. Im afraid that just the discussion, whether she says shes ok with it or not or does or doesn't enjoy it, will be enough for her not to be as attracted to me. Even more than that, im afraid of losing her. I know she would never freak out or be cruel about this, shes kind and has no problem with what others like to do, but much like sexuality and I feel to an extent your kinks aren't choice, I know she cant choose how she would feel about it. Whether she would be attracted to a guy thats into these kind of things isn't choice.

Thats really the heart of my fear I guess, the "what she'll think of me" and losing her. Its the underlying part of why this was an issue in the first place. Anyway, I want to thank you guys again for talking. Its been way more of weight off knowing theirs a community out here to help than I expected it to be.

What you want to look up on the internet is "pegging," plenty of articles about it out there. Some of them may even suggest how to approach your girlfriend about it.

Knowing you're not alone in the world is one of the most comforting things there is.

It lets you say and feel "I am not a freak for wanting this."

[Darius]

There is a lot I could say here but I will limit it to this: having someone use a strap-on on you or a dildo will not satisfy your gay side, if you can call it that. You are attracted to guys and girls, that means more than just sexually. If a sex toy could satisfy the urge for a romantic and sexual relationship, guys could just fuck a fleshlight and not have to bother with girls ever. Attraction is so much more than what body part gets stuck in which hole and no piece of latex or plastic will substitute.
Being bi means you could fall in love with either sex, not just who you want to fuck. If you haven't come to that conclusion yet, I suspect you will.

[kindy64]

There is a lot I could say here but I will limit it to this: having someone use a strap-on on you or a dildo will not satisfy your gay side, if you can call it that. You are attracted to guys and girls, that means more than just sexually. If a sex toy could satisfy the urge for a romantic and sexual relationship, guys could just fuck a fleshlight and not have to bother with girls ever. Attraction is so much more than what body part gets stuck in which hole and no piece of latex or plastic will substitute.
Being bi means you could fall in love with either sex, not just who you want to fuck. If you haven't come to that conclusion yet, I suspect you will.

I would disagree in that bisexuality is a spectrum. Someone can be physically turned on by guys, but not emotionally/romantically. Some can feel emotionally/romantically connected, but not physically.

Different strokes for different folks.