We have been going out since mid-June as friends only. We enjoy our time together. I started to have romantic feelings for him since the weekend of July 4th. He is attractive, but not physically my type. I fell in love with his voice and the way he treated me that weekend. Now I have a crush. I feel motivated and have most of the typical feelings of a crush with the difference that I don't feel lust or fantasize about him.
I don’t text him daily to say good morning or sweet dreams. That would be too obvious and I don’t want to lose his friendship. I give him space. Maybe two times a week and it’s mostly to coordinate or confirm our next encounter, but I always ask him how was his day and questions like that. I have to initiate contact. He never text me first, but reply to my texts. I know that he is not ignoring me.
We are going together from Boston to Provincetown next Saturday. I texted him at the beginning of the week to coordinate details. He told me to purchase my ferry tickets online and he will do the same at home. I replied that I don’t have printer at home and suggested to go to the library together to use the computers and print the tickets there. He agreed and then asked me to go together, after the library, to a free concert of classic music orchestra. I said yes.
As I mentioned before, I text him maybe twice a week depending if we’re going out. I plan to subtly test the waters during our trip to Provincetown. But even if he doesn’t feel attracted to me and is looking for friendship only, I don’t like the idea of me having to initiate contact all the time. Why he doesn’t initiate contact?
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If that is his only fault then you're a lucky guy. If I were you I would be thankful for the other things - he always replies to your texts, you enjoy each others company, he's asked you to the concert etc. The fact that he never initiates contact is relatively unimportant. Don't get hung up about it.
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There are a lot worse traits in a person than not being a conversation starter. So as the person who said above. Dont get hung up on it
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He's probably like me...starts on one thing and then squirrel...
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Well I am currently trying to avoid someone but in a nice way. I don't want to say to them that I don't want them in my life anymore, so I simply just reply back but never start a conversation. but at the same time you have to remember that there are other factors like he could be really busy all the time, have many other things in his life that is going on at the moment or even just be a down right introvert.
Time is your teacher, it will soon give you answers.
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Personally, if i text someone too much i feel like i'm annoying them, or that i dont give them space enough, i really like this guy, but i text him like twice a week cuz i dont wanna push my self on to him xD
And also sometimes i think about texting him but then forgets about it the next second xD Maybe he's just like me? a bit forgetful and such? xD
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There was a time I was never initiating conversation - unless something really important.
It's not like I don't want to talk or what, I just got used to my friends initiate it and I was born being a bit more passive. Sometimes even I don't talk to a person for a long time, I still don't feel like there is a problem.
Later on there were friends telling me about me being too passive and rely on the others to start gathering, and they said this would make others think that I may not interest in remaining friends or just being not sincere to people. So right now I tried to be more active with friends.
I think it is possible that he is just born this way, or he could be just got used to the way of interaction between you two. As I read he also invite you to concert actively. So better don't think too much about it.
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texting isn't conversation. it's an impersonal fast way for relaying insignificant information. i very rarely use it. and i certainly don't choose texting as the go-to method to inquire how someone i'm interested in is doing, etc. if i want to know how someone is doing, i call them.
also, he initiated when he asked you to the concert. unless it is a problem getting to spend time with him, or in the way he treats you in person, maybe don't make much of this thing? some people text, some people don't text at all. if everything else is good, this is a small matter.
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I think texting for many has replaced a good chunk of daily communication... I don't particularly like it and prefer to talk to someone face to face but sometimes that's just not possible...even more so where I live.
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It took me YEARS to initiate contact with Gideon more than once in an extremely rare blue moon. Not only did it take me years, but it took a LOT of encouragement from Gideon, as well, in order to get me there.
Some people are just that way. I rarely initiate contact with friends either. Or family. Or anyone else. It doesn't mean I don't care, or don't think about them. It's just that for some reason that caring and thinking about them doesn't naturally and automatically connect to a "reaching out" for them response for some reason.
Hell, I can think about Gideon all day or 1000's of times a day and not once will it ever occur to me to reach out and contact him. Only reason it does now is because he's really pushed with me to teach me he -likes- it when I do..... a LOT.... and wants me to.
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