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08-27-2016, 04:53 AM

So my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years. But a few months ago he wanted to break up, he saw what it did to me and he said he wanted to work on it. A couple weeks later I found out he has feeling for a co-worker (no former coworker) because I read some messages on messenger. He didn't tell the guy because he doesnt want him to know and the guys only 17. The guy is supposedly straight, but I wasn't out when o was 17, he was actually my first to go all the way. The day I found out we were going to an amusement park with the guy and his girlfriend, he told me was sorry and actually could not answer the question "what would you do not he came out and said he want to be with you?". Fast forward a couple weeks it coming up on this guy's birthday 17th birthday. He was taking him to the movies with the guys girlfriend. I asked if I could go and he told me no. I found out a week later snooping again that he told a friend he hoped this guy made a move on his birthday. Yet again I confronted him, still saying I'm sorry I fded up, blah blah. A week later he changed his messenger password, this made me feel everything but good. I packed his stuff ready to throw him out, but I did hack his password. Needed up ending with that guys birthday. Confronted him again and still same old I'm sorry I fded up, it was the first thing I thought of on my break, you should be going threw my stuff anyway... he swears I cheated on him because a guy kissed me and I cut off all times even quitting my job, but I told him... he's hiding things from me. He even said I wouod only cheat on him, but that's just because he did it to me. Now fast forward to his new job, a gay guy with the same name as my bf works on his line. Again I read messages, and he was talking about wanting this guy nothing but sex, no feelings. Yet again I confronted him same ole bs. Now he thinks we are good because I haven't argued at all ( something he said months ago was I'm too bchy) but I told him he needs to be more compassionate btw he does not show anything to me. We do it but nothing building up and he gets the most pleasure. I don't get anything... complained so much. Aside from sex, I don't get spontaneous hugs or kisses. When we kiss goodbye it's just a peck. Haven't frechned in 2 years... I just don't know if he love me or not. I recently got a promotion and one of his messages said he needs my paycheck... he knows I know everything but I don't know what to do. His name is also on my brand new car I can't refinance for another year... and to top it off tonight I noticed the guy he has feeling for went out and bought the exact same water bottle as my bf. This guy gets jealous if anyoke touches my bf, and he tells everyone I hate him and I woud kill him (joking manor I hope). But to finish this off, last year after the gay marriage ruling one of my best friends asked him if we were gonna get married he told her he would never fking marry me, to please not tell me. But he says he loves me now, sorry he didn't realize it. I do love him, but has anyone ever recovered from something like this????

Borg69 · 08-27-2016, 05:25 AM

You're not happy. He's a cheating jerk, untrustworthy, and a pedo. He's using you, and there is way too much drama to fix. You deserve better. Be true to yourself and find someone who loves you like you deserve... who can back it up with actions.

08-27-2016, 05:52 AM

Borg69 Wrote:You're not happy. He's a cheating jerk, untrustworthy, and a pedo. He's using you, and there is way too much drama to fix. You deserve better. Be true to yourself and find someone who loves you like you deserve... who can back it up with actions.

^^ This.... You deserve better. It's time to move on, IMO.

08-27-2016, 06:23 AM

He hasn't acted yet, but in my opinion planning to cheat is just as bad.

08-27-2016, 06:26 AM

And I know I deserve better, I just don't know why I want him. But then I know he will never treat me like I want to be treated, unless it's for a short time to keep me here...

08-27-2016, 06:49 AM

Then it sounds to me like you've answered your own question. It's time to leave him.

As for -why- you want him? It doesn't really matter, does it? What matters is what we do. What YOU do, yeah? People want things and people that aren't good for them all the time, after all.

TigerLover · 08-27-2016, 06:51 AM

He doesn't love you and you know it. It sounds like he's constantly on the prowl for something better. Judge him by his actions not by his words.

Sooner or later either you're going to leave him or he'll leave you, and if he leaves you you're gonna feel like the biggest chump in the world for wasting so much of your life with him.

Somewhere out there there's a man who will love you beyond question, show you all the affection you need and maybe one day marry you. But he and you are both missing out because you're with this asshole.

You need to move on.The sooner the better.

TigerLover · 08-27-2016, 06:56 AM

He doesn't love you and you know it. It sounds like he's constantly on the prowl for something better. Judge him by his actions not by his words.

Sooner or later either you're going to leave him or he'll leave you, and if he leaves you you're gonna feel like the biggest chump in the world for wasting so much of your life with him.
Because somewhere out there there's a man who will love you beyond question, show you all the affection you need and maybe one day marry you. But he and you are both missing out on love because you're with this guy.

You need to move on. The sooner the better. Yes it'll hurt but you're getting hurt anyway, leaving him will lead to a great deal less pain in the long run.

Borg69 · 08-27-2016, 01:36 PM

Jesspertenn Wrote:And I know I deserve better, I just don't know why I want him. But then I know he will never treat me like I want to be treated, unless it's for a short time to keep me here...

You want him because being alone scares you more than dealing with fantasies of him changing for you. It isn't really him you want, it's the fantasy of a relationship he represents.

08-27-2016, 06:48 PM

It doesn't sound like he loves you and as far as you loving him---love isn't always enough, is it.

The last straw to prove that he is using you is when he told you he needs your pay check.
One of you needs to hit the road and I suggest you do it before he does.

This is no way to live life, full of fear, doubt, mistrust, suspicion ad infidelity. Even if he hasn't actually cheated, he is unfaithful to you in his head and heart.