Talking about yourself

[Emiliano]

Are you an open book or do you put up walls?
How comfortable are you when it comes to talking about yourself and your feelings?

[InbetweenDreams]

I think I have the tendency to be way too open about myself...

I find that most people don't talk about themselves, or do put up walls and you're left wondering.

[CorsacReborn]

I have some walls up depending on what about myself I'm speaking of, I do try to be an open book with most things but there will always be some sort of detail that gets left out.

[Emiliano]

Axle: Do you see it as vulnerability?

[meridannight]

Depends on who's asking. And I am not an open book. But it depends a lot on who it is I am talking to. I don't open up about my life to casual acquaintances, people at work, or the like. Only men I consider friends. And the ones I like. If a right guy asks me, I talk to him.

Feelings are a different subject from opening up about yourself though, the way I see it (in this sense you asked about two very different things that don't overlap with one another in one and the same breath).

I am past the phase of my life where I couldn't own up about my feelings (or owned up to less, as it was). I have come to understand that it is healthy and necessary to feel. That you have to let yourself feel, whether it is a positive or a negative emotion, both are necessary parts. You can't avoid feeling things anyway. You can only avoid owning up to them. And denying is the same as denying yourself, or being ashamed of part of yourself. And why would you need to be like that?



Why do you ask? I just wonder how you came up with this question.

[Emiliano]

Depends on who's asking. And I am not an open book. But it depends a lot on who it is I am talking to. I don't open up about my life to casual acquaintances, people at work, or the like. Only men I consider friends. And the ones I like. If a right guy asks me, I talk to him.

Feelings are a different subject from opening up about yourself though, the way I see it (in this sense you asked about two very different things that don't overlap with one another in one and the same breath). I am past the phase of my life where I couldn't own up about my feelings even to myself, much rather anybody else. It is weird, but I have come to understand that it is healthy and necessary to feel. That you have to let yourself feel, whether it is a positive or a negative emotion, both are necessary parts. You can't avoid feeling things anyway. You can only avoid owning up to them. And denying is the same as denying yourself, or being ashamed of part of yourself. And why would you need to be like that?



Why do you ask? I just wonder how you came up with this question.

I'm curious how others are. How people deal with opening up to others, how others deal with insecurities in doing that - or how they overcame them, if they felt them at all. Correct or not, I'm aware of the stereotype of masculinity that men are meant to be strong and not reveal emotions, but that there's also a stereotype, correct or not, that gay men are meant to be more able to vocalize these things. So I'm interested in how the men here actually are currently and the journeys taken to be comfortable, if that is the case.

[Emiliano]

I have some walls up depending on what about myself I'm speaking of, I do try to be an open book with most things but there will always be some sort of detail that gets left out.

Without going into the details.... What category of things do you leave as private, vs what you are willing to share?

[bryyzy]

I am a masculine lad and as I said. I love football and rugby. When it comes to people getting to know me. I put up barriers a bit because I value my privacy and people mistake it for me being a bit shifty and secretive. Totally wrong. I just don't like people knowing the ins and out of my life.

I used to be an open book but I got betrayed badly so thats why I tend to put up walls and make people get to know me rather than give everything away upfront.

[Darius]

I think I am pretty up front and open with people, but I much rather have others talk about themselves because I am interested in them. I don't see that as putting up walls. With relationships there should be a natural give and take when getting to know each other. People intrigue me so I am more curious about them than I am about talking about myself. I am always concerned that I might overshare and I wouldn't want to bore anyone. In my opinion, there is nothing worse than the person who only wants to talk about themselves. I can't imagine that kind of person every being a great friend or anything else.

[East]

I am waaaaayyyyy more open than I would like to be.....\

...but the one thing that is private is the intimacy of my relationship. I am really only comfortable with a few people who really know who I am...warts and all....and I am pretty safe and secure with the man I am with as far as that goes and it is enough for me...almost everything actually...because he "sees" me. It makes the rest of the world alot easier to deal with...thanks to him....

Other than that..if you know me in 3-D...I have a very thin filter. I used to have no filter..and I blurted out everything I thought..YIKES...now with just a SHRED of a filter it is so much better...coming from a place where there used to not be any filter...