Talking about yourself

[Emiliano]

Well once upon a time I built walls around myself like a Chinese emperor. But then I got myself into a bit of a sticky pickle and I really had to force myself to open up with people in order to get out of it.

Now the switch has flipped in the opposite direction and i'm happy to share almost anything with people that I like.

And hey speaking of sharing there's something missing from this thread. [MENTION=21558]Emiliano[/MENTION]
How comfortable are you when it comes to talking about yourself and your feelings?

I tend to be pretty private in general, and on top of that, I don't feel very comfortable sharing my emotions with others. But I want to work on that.

[InbetweenDreams]

I tend to be pretty private in general, and on top of that, I don't feel very comfortable sharing my emotions with others. But I want to work on that.

My only problem has been that people who try to force it out of me, I shut down... People who either show interest or engage me I open up... even more so after a couple glasses of wine lol

I think by good judgement and moderation one can open up and be fine, just have to be selective of who you open up to and what about.

[SilverBullet]

I personally keep to myself most of the time. I trust nobody, ever, too many people are just punks. Typically if someone does something I dislike I find I never say anything because I hate confrontation. I usually just bear it until I no longer can.

[Aquarius]

Depends on who I talk to, and in which context.

When meeting new people I put up walls, because the default icebreaker question in nowadays' conversations is one that I can only reply with putting myself into a defensive attitude. "What do you do for a living?" Well, the answer is "nothing", and I don't care, but others do, and so the conversation usually goes into that territory and makes me feel completely uncomfortable so that I would rather leave the room.

However, once I get over those initial problems and if the chemistry is good no and my opposite does not care about my answer, and does not put me into that depressing role that I'm not in (not being jobless is depressive, getting asked those questions is), I'm happily sharing a lot of things about myself.
There are one or two more embarrassing things, but recently I found a great approach:

If I don't meet someone's expectations, then it's their own problem, not mine.

So yep, I'm happily sharing, especially in therapy I can open up very well, sometimes I feel like I share a bit too much and the opposite gets bored or annoyed, and of course I don't want that

Once someone managed to make me unbuild my walls (not a lot of people can make me feel that comfortable), there's hardly any limit.

[InbetweenDreams]

I personally keep to myself most of the time. I trust nobody, ever, too many people are just punks. Typically if someone does something I dislike I find I never say anything because I hate confrontation. I usually just bear it until I no longer can.

Yeah that can be me, depends on the scanario... like people being a annoying for instance... I usually don't say anything but people suspect I am upset...which I am...

Confrontation can be a pain but sometime it is necessary. I think it is something both of us should learn to do. Why bear all the crap to begin with.

I mean like I mentioned in an earlier post, people don't like to be called out on their...bovine scatology lol

I mean I'll be honest, I don't like being called out, I don't like being told I am wrong, even if I do know I'm wrong -- which I am not ever wrong

I wish it were easier than just to say stop taking a bunch of shit but that is pretty much what needs to be done.

Me, when I am done with someone, I am like done with someone -- they're out of my life...they're basically exiled from my life in every way possible. Block phone, all social media... I don't even think about them beyond that point. I guess it is kind of cold to do but when I have had enough I've had enough and there's no recourse once I get to the point where I want someone completely gone from my life.

I guess the context I was referring to was like on a first date....that is going well... I reveal too much about myself than what I think I should. I mean I guess it can be helpful, either the guy I'm dating will be engaged and I can usually tell if anything is going to click...

[Rareboy]

What do you want to know?

[TwisttheLeaf]

Wow. To be honest? I have NO idea. [MENTION=20938]Gideon[/MENTION] is probably way more able to answer this question about me than I could myself.

If I were to answer it myself I'd say.... both? I feel like I share too much, AND I feel like I close myself off. I'm not sure.

[meridannight]

If I were to answer it myself I'd say.... both? I feel like I share too much, AND I feel like I close myself off. I'm not sure.

This is somewhat of what it's like for me. Yeah, it can be both in the same person.


But I also wanted to add that I usually know who I can open up to and who I can't. That is something I don't even have to think about. I know who I can trust.

[Emiliano]

I feel like when I try to talk about my feelings, it makes my friends uncomfortable. Most of my relationships are based on me being supportive of the other, listening not talking, asking not responding. It's awkward for them, so they say awkward things that feel meaningless to me, or dismissive, or it just gets turned back to being about them. It's my fault for developing and encouraging such one sided relationships like that, but enough of those type of interactions and I just have stopped trying to share it.

[InbetweenDreams]

[MENTION=21558]Emiliano[/MENTION] Why is it awkward for your friends? Is it how you think it makes them feel or do they actually say that?

I think one thing for sure is that our personality type may have a lot to do with things. For instance, I am a INFJ which is called "The Counselor," and I do see it in me. Although I am not shy to tell my friends things I probably should keep to myself, but I do find myself trying to help people. I guess that's why I keep coming here. If there's something I think I can contribute to I do.