Ex-Gay? What do you think?

[knickerbuck]

So I've been thinking much about this now; I've been a Christian and people have been telling me that being gay is bad, that I should change, that there is no life after death for people who are gay. I even bought this book from a Christian bookstore and remember crying after that I bought it:

I've also been to a lot of websites that offer Reparative/Conversion therapy to its clients in hopes of turning them from gay to straight, plus a lot of searching on the Internet using the keywords: "SSA," "gay-to-straight." I've been through a lot actually, before I even came to this forum and being open about my gayness; wanting to turn myself straight, a gay man stuck in a straight world, I thought to myself. So what do you think, is this kind of behavior normal or deranged (the wanting to change from gay to straight)? I posted this in this section of the Forum since it might pertain to mental health.

[InbetweenDreams]

Conversion therapy is deranged. It is not healthy...

http://www.hrc.org/resources/the-lies-an...ve-therapy

Mind you the US is very much divided and this practice is being outlawed everywhere....because it is bad for your mental health.

I don't know where you stand as far as religion is concerned but my thoughts are that religion is an organization designed to rule people, to control them. Yeah there are good things about religion, but most of it seems to cause a lot of problems....lots of people died over god...and it wasn't god doing the killing.

I mean if you're on the fence because you're also attracted to women that's one thing but don't put yourself through all that crap because of some religious crap.

Everyone sins... Take a look around, there's people who do far worse than being gay... hell I would go as far to say some of the people that run the local church have done a lot of crooked things. Why let someone who is a crook tell you how to live your life?

[Jason111]

Just not possible. It's bullshit

[Cuddly]

I would've liked the easy road. Being a white straight male seems as easy as it gets.

However, I'm gay. And that's not going to change. Ever. I do not believe it to be possible to change sexual orientation.
Get better friends. That's what you need.

[Cobalt]

I like dick. I like men. I like big sexy men with sexy dicks. I've always been like that. I always will be. If someone is an "ex-gay" they were either never truly "gay" or are currently lying to themselves about no longer being gay.

Anyway, back to my life about liking hot men with hot dicks.

[InbetweenDreams]

Penises aside.... It is important to note that nearly ALL accredited physiological organizations condemn conversion therapy and regard it as HARMFUL!!!

You only get one life. It is PERFECTLY fine to believe in a God but I don't think any God would condemn a soul for being gay...especially when other species on this planet exhibit homosexuality... I personally am finding that religion is just bullshit stacked on top of bullshit.

[Emiliano]

I don't think that homosexuality is something that can be "cured" or "fixed" or that it is something that needs to be or should be. However, I do believe that sexuality is personal and based on the individual, not a rigid thing.

If you are thinking about trying to be straight or have straight experiences, I would say it's better done on your own, as part of your own personal experience. Doing it through a religious group or something like that would be doing it through a group that had bias, that had their own motivations, and that will treat you as a person with a problem to be solved rather than one who is questioning their identity as an individual. The goal shouldn't be to change to fit what others think you should be - it should be to deepen your understanding of yourself.

If religion is the main motivation, you should know there are many Christian (knowing that you're Filipino I'm assuming that's the religion you're a part of) sects who are able to reconcile homosexuality with religion.

I don't think that struggling with sexuality, especially in terms of how it relates with religion and culture is deranged. I'm not asking you to answer them here, because they are personal, but if I were in a similar situation I might ask myself:

Why do you want to be straight and why do you not want to be gay?
What exactly made you come to identify yourself as a gay man? Why do you not identify as bisexual or straight?
What kinds of sexual/romantic experiences have you had gay or straight? How do you feel about them and why do you feel those ways?
What do you feel you are missing and/or risking by being gay? How do you imagine being straight would change that?
What motivates you internally and/or externally to be straight - identify your motivations and think about them.
If it were possible to remove exterior motivations like culture, place, family reaction, religious influence, would you feel less inclined to be straight, or not?
How honest are you with yourself? With your family? With your friends? With your community? How do those relationships make you feel?
On a scale of 1-10 how much do you accept yourself? Respect yourself? Love yourself?

You have every right to live your life as you want to, and I don't think there is any harm in self reflection and trying to gain more of an insight on your sexuality. But I don't think it's something that can be altered through prayer or a pill or a surgery. Again, I don't view it as a problem to be fixed. I also don't think that being straight should be viewed as a fix all solution to problems in your life. Straight people struggle with self and cultural acceptance as well as religious issues. But if you are questioning your identity as a gay man, you should explore why that is. Why not?

[TwisttheLeaf]

I can understand the desire to cave to pressure presented from the social aspects of your life.

BUT....

It would be better to work on accepting yourself, your true self, than trying to change into something you perceive that others want you to be.

[CellarDweller]

I think it's a crock. I don't think that people can change their sexuality. Those who can sleep with various genders are those who are attracted to those multiple genders.

[InbetweenDreams]

I am convinced that it is a crock. Like [MENTION=14580]CellarDweller[/MENTION] says, you can;t change you sexuality. You can hide it... I think that is why a lot of folks get married and have kids and end up getting divorced. I mean life it too damn complex and busy to try to figure out what exactly you want, you pretty much have one shit at getting after the things you want in life. Very few people get to have 2nd chances... so [MENTION=23556]knickerbuck[/MENTION] live your life as YOU see fit not anyone else's....it is your life, you want to date guys, date guys.