Being Gay

[Emiliano]

For you personally, is being gay something that is strictly an attraction to your own gender, or do you think it influences other aspects of who you are as well? Like if you suddenly met a straight version of yourself, how different or similar would you two be?

What does gay mean in terms of an identity? Your personal identity or a broader social/cultural one.

If you are bi or identify as something else, feel free to contribute as well.

[knickerbuck]

it's complicated ..........................

but i think there is a backstory to everything ... let me tell you mine.. born the eldest with three sisters only male in the family .. has three aunts and no uncles on the maternal side .. couldnt connect with the paternal side well because of the rift caused by my mom's quarrel with my dad's sister which was an ancient argument over my aunt's disapproval of my mom to be his brother's wife .. that is why i never really had a strong male figure growing up .. always wished that i had one though ..

[East]

My own gay profile:

I like men who have a female/male energy ration of at least 60/40 or 40/60....anything less and I am not interested. I love a 49/51 or 51/49...50/50 would be the ideal match....

When I say female...I am not talking about "femme" and so many times people have images of what that female means. My female inside is alot like Ripley.... Sigourney Weaver in Aliens.....

I also like actual females with the same ratio...but not for lovers...just friends......because I am gay

.

[LJay]

Being gay has been a profound influence on my psychological makeup. Since I am constantly addled these days, the question is very difficult to consider. My poor old brain finds it hard to imagine a straight me. I can see that it would be just as difficult for the straight people with whom I have been closest to see themselves as gay. We are who we are. From my college days, I have attempted to achieve being true to my own self. That self is gay. I think, Emiliano, that the only really good answer for your question in my case, could come from someone else. I am not sure I have the tools.

I shall be following this thread carefully and hoping very much that certain people on the forum have a good try at answering the question.

[Emiliano]

it's complicated ..........................

but i think there is a backstory to everything ... let me tell you mine.. born the eldest with three sisters only male in the family .. has three aunts and no uncles on the maternal side .. couldnt connect with the paternal side well because of the rift caused by my mom's quarrel with my dad's sister which was an ancient argument over my aunt's disapproval of my mom to be his brother's wife .. that is why i never really had a strong male figure growing up .. always wished that i had one though ..

It sounds like you might be taking this in the direction of why you think you are gay or have an attraction to men. Which is also fine. So if you had no male influences in your immediate family, what kind of male figures were you drawn to as a younger person? Like what did you look to as a role model in terms of people in your community or in pop culture? Just out of curiousity.


But I had intended this thread to ask what influence, if any, that being gay has has on your identity / personality? Does being gay bring anything additional to your personality? Or maybe does it remove something from your personality?

I was inspired to ask this by some of the responses in your thread about ex gays. Is sexual attraction all that being gay is? Or are we in some ways different from people who are not gay? In terms of how we perceive, interpret, and relate to the world that is.

[MisterMagoo]

Being Gay... really has no bearing on me as a person.
I fancy blokes. I don't fancy women.
Just like my best mate fancies women and not men.

I don't feel the need to watch Bridget Jones, or mince down the High Street.

I am me, and my sexuality makes no difference to that.

[Emiliano]

My own gay profile:

I like men who have a female/male energy ration of at least 60/40 or 40/60....anything less and I am not interested. I love a 49/51 or 51/49...50/50 would be the ideal match....

When I say female...I am not talking about "femme" and so many times people have images of what that female means. My female inside is alot like Ripley.... Sigourney Weaver in Aliens.....

I also like actual females with the same ratio...but not for lovers...just friends......because I am gay

.

Can you go in more detail about what a male/female energy is like? Like what you mean by those terms? What is an example, or a description, of a man with a good balance of the two? What would a man be like who did not have that balance?

[Emiliano]

Being gay has been a profound influence on my psychological makeup. Since I am constantly addled these days, the question is very difficult to consider. My poor old brain finds it hard to imagine a straight me. I can see that it would be just as difficult for the straight people with whom I have been closest to see themselves as gay. We are who we are. From my college days, I have attempted to achieve being true to my own self. That self is gay. I think, Emiliano, that the only really good answer for your question in my case, could come from someone else. I am not sure I have the tools.

I shall be following this thread carefully and hoping very much that certain people on the forum have a good try at answering the question.

Thank you for thinking about it. It is a really weird question I guess, a lot of what if and all that. I'm one of those people who think experience plays a major role in how we develop and become the people we are at any given moment. So in that sense I can see how being straight would alter me a lot because I'd have had different experiences. But in terms of what a straight me would be like, it's a difficult thing to imagine.

You did say that being gay has had an influence on your psychological makeup though - in what ways? What has being gay made you more attuned to? Maybe what have you learned or been exposed to that was a result of being gay and the experiences that came from that?
If you feel up to it - if not, you just observing what others say is fine with me too.

[Emiliano]

Being Gay... really has no bearing on me as a person.
I fancy blokes. I don't fancy women.
Just like my best mate fancies women and not men.

I don't feel the need to watch Bridget Jones, or mince down the High Street.

I am me, and my sexuality makes no difference to that.

I respect that, and by no means am I trying to say that being gay should dictate our behaviors or mannerisms or tastes. The examples you gave relate to behaviors, I'm curious if the way you feel also extends to what goes on in your mind, your thinking process, your insights.

[MisterMagoo]

The thing is, you are born the way you are, so how can any of us possibly know if our thinking is being controlled in any way by our sexuality, because it has always been a part of you.