Being Gay

[Radbot42]

Overall I don't think there would be too much of a difference. I'd probably not be watching any lgbtq movies on netflix. But besides that. I'd probably still be a nerd.

[Justaguy]

Hmm, that's a tricky question. I suppose in terms of my upbringing, my interests and hobbies and my general behaviour, would all be exactly the same whether I was gay or straight, I don't think sexuality really has any bearing on those things for me.

I guess in ways I would be different would be my perception of the world and the way I see things, I feel like as a gay man (and especially since joining GS) I'm a much more open-minded person and that I try to understand other people's points of view and to not judge too harshly. Whereas I'm not sure that if I were straight I would feel as driven to do so (or that I would care). Of course I'm not saying that straight men can't be open-minded or understanding, that's just how I feel about the differences in myself if I were to be straight.

Ultimately I think how we percieve the world to be as gay men and lesbian women can alter ourselves in ways we probably don't realise.

[Shypuppy69]

I would be the same with one exception....if I were straight I might not still be single at 62. Growing up and still living in a very rural area I was never comfortable showing or expressing who I was attracted to and I still struggle with that some. Also there are so few other gay guys around that the choices of a partner are much fewer. Any many of the gay guys around here are much like me in that few people ever know or realize that they are gay.

[MickTheMousie]

i think it have an impact, a lot of gay guys tend to have a lighter voice and more feminine behavior traits, that most hetero guys dont, that could ofc be because of the society we live in, but yea i think there would be a diffrence

[Aquarius]

Of course I don't know for sure, but I believe that "being gay" basically means to exclusively be attracted to the own gender, and anything additional (behaviour, clothing, etc) being a sociological phenomenon.

Going into philosophical mode and maybe talking complete bullshit, but let me try.

I believe that when many of us grew up, the only times when we could observe adult gays was on television, where often clichés were shown, caricatures, and I kinda believe that especially in earlier times (60s-80s), many of the now older gays have adopted traits of these caricatures, mostly subconciously. Ever since the 90s more and more gays have come out on tv, in music, and now on social media, and ever since, this old cliché has more and more vanished (a wider variety of "being gay" was shown), however certain traits have come to mjne and younger generations too.

Of course I haven't lived in a time when television didn't exist, but I would assume that it has always been straight people who defined gay people throughout centuries (until the late 20th century), and due to the fact that we like men, it was straight people who have thus "feminized" us in past centuries, because they mixed things up (liking men doesn't make us women)... and that many of us have adopted this concept - as said - more or less conciously, and I don't think I'm completely free from those "adopted traits" either.

So yep, in short, I think being gay is actually just liking men, and that "gay behaviour" comes from adaption.

[TigerLover]

My being bi-sexual enabled a pattern of behaviour that I find extremely comfortable and natural. Namely avoiding women, I find most members of the opposite gender hard to socialise with let alone date. If I was straight avoiding most women wouldn't be an option.

[InbetweenDreams]

Being gay I think has probably all but ruined my life up to this point... At least that's how I feel. Waiting around for someone to come along to change how I feel about that. Seeing everyone else happy, married, settled in, successful in their job is just a reminder on everything I am missing out on.

Just tired of the constant judging and labeling from the guys and the community. Next to impossible to find or make friends, at least around here anyway. Perhaps it's me.

[meridannight]

My being bi-sexual enabled a pattern of behaviour that I find extremely comfortable and natural. Namely avoiding women, I find most members of the opposite gender hard to socialise with let alone date. If I was straight avoiding most women wouldn't be an option.

I know a couple of straight guys who are like that. I mean, I understand them (I also feel aversion for female personalities), but I always wondered how that worked out for them. To be repulsed by something that you're sexually attracted to? I can't imagine hating men and being sexually attracted to them at the same time. Sure, I don't like some guys, but in general I love men, their looks, personalities, bearing, everything.

[Emiliano]

[MENTION=21405]meridannight[/MENTION] and [MENTION=22948]TigerLover[/MENTION] I get that you guys are just being honest and I'm glad that you are. In a topic like this I would never ask someone not to be. But I find it troubling when I come across those sort of sentiments and generalizations about women. You feel the way you feel and I understand that, but the level of misogyny in some gay men strikes me as strange.

Not a direct response to either of you, but just on the topic in general, I guess in my own experience my attraction to men has very little to do with how I feel about women. I'm not repulsed by the female body and I reject the idea that there is some blanket female personality. When I hear other gay men talk about women being gross it's like when I hear straight people be like two men kissing is gross. It comes off as immature to me. I'm sure it has a lot to do with having sisters, maybe it's a protective thing in me. But it causes a strong enough reaction in me to make me address it here.

I'm gay, I don't identify as anything else. I've never kissed a girl much less slept with one. But if I lived in some country or time where being openly and exclusively gay was impossible, I don't think having sex with a woman would be all that difficult for me. I have an obvious (to me) preference for men, but it's not because of anything I find offensive or unattractive about women.

It also doesn't shock or surprise me that some straight men dislike or don't value the individuality of women. By the way women are nearly universally treated in society and have their worth measured in terms of their sexual desirability to men it seems actually pretty common.

Again, no disrespect or me trying to tell you guys how you should feel. Just my thoughts on it.

[meridannight]

in my own experience my attraction to men has very little to do with how I feel about women. I'm not repulsed by the female body and I reject the idea that there is some blanket female personality.


I have an obvious (to me) preference for men, but it's not because of anything I find offensive or unattractive about women.

Same here. My sexuality has nothing to do with my aversion for women. Two separate things. (And you are smarter than that to insinuate that sexuality might have anything to do with that for others. That was a cheap shot on your end).


I just don't like women, I am repulsed by their bodies, and I do agree there is a blanket female personality. I am not sorry for feeling this way. Think of it what you will.