Being Gay

[Aquarius]

The concept of women being the "beautiful" (or "weak") gender has been coined by straight guys throughout many many centuries.
While obviously with animals, it's mostly the male (duck, lion for example) who is what we as humans consider beautiful.
I am convinced that this "woman = beautiful" concept is coming from the same "sociohistoric" source as the concept "gays = feminine, weak".

Excuse me female fellows, but I don't find the female body beautiful. I think that men are the "beautiful gender" and in our society the only reason why it isn't widely considered like that is because
1. women unfortunately didn't have a lot to say in past centuries, and
2. gays neither

[Emiliano]

Same here. My sexuality has nothing to do with my aversion for women. Two separate things. (And you are smarter than that to insinuate that sexuality might have anything to do with that for others. That was a cheap shot on your end).


I just don't like women, I am repulsed by their bodies, and I do agree there is a blanket female personality. I am not sorry for feeling this way. Think of it what you will.

Like I said man, I'm not asking for anything but honesty and you delivered it so I wasn't trying to disrespect you or tell you how to live and who to like. This isn't kindergarten. I don't want apologies or compromises here. I thought that I purposefully used a lot of padded language to lessen the chance that what I was saying was going to come off as a cheap shot or a harsh critique, because that's not how I intended it.

You can question my intelligence or my use of it, but when I talked about my own sexuality it was just me talking about my own experience - not an attempt to classify yours. I respect you and your right to feel as you want. But I respect women, and my fellow human beings in general, enough that I felt compelled to react to a dismissal of half of the worlds population. Especially when it's something I've noticed in the gay community in general.

[Emiliano]

The concept of women being the "beautiful" (or "weak") gender has been coined by straight guys throughout many many centuries.
While obviously with animals, it's mostly the male (duck, lion for example) who is what we as humans consider beautiful.
I am convinced that this "woman = beautiful" concept is coming from the same "sociohistoric" source as the concept "gays = feminine, weak".

Excuse me female fellows, but I don't find the female body beautiful. I think that men are the "beautiful gender" and in our society the only reason why it isn't widely considered like that is because
1. women unfortunately didn't have a lot to say in past centuries, and
2. gays neither

There's a lot to unpack in what you wrote, all of which I find interesting. When I'm not so distracted I'm going to come back to this.

[meridannight]

But I respect women, and my fellow human beings in general, enough that I felt compelled to react to a dismissal of half of the worlds population. Especially when it's something I've noticed in the gay community in general.

That's fine, but why bring sexuality into the argument then? You brought it up, in a way as to suggest that for some guys hatred of women may have caused their sexuality. That is completely absurd, and you should know it.

If you didn't like the way women were referred to, all you needed to do was to say so, and make your point about that. It had nothing to do with homosexuality. But you had to start in on that, and that is what I resent, honestly. That was low, and fully a cheap shot man.


Men have a right not to like half the world's population in the form of women. It's not yours to correct that. Your generation would like us all to believe that everybody likes everyone and we'll all get along, but that is not true. It's not the real life. It's an illusion. Nor should people like everybody.

I thought that I purposefully used a lot of padded language to lessen the chance that what I was saying was going to come off as a cheap shot or a harsh critique, because that's not how I intended it..

Your language was crystal clear, there was nothing padded about it.

[Emiliano]

That's fine, but why bring sexuality into the argument then? You brought it up, in a way as to suggest that for some guys hatred of women may have caused their sexuality. That is completely absurd, and you should know it.

If you didn't like the way women were referred to, all you needed to do was to say so, and make your point about that. It had nothing to do with homosexuality. But you had to start in on that, and that is what I resent, honestly. That was low, and fully a cheap shot man.


Men have a right not to like half the world's population in the form of women. It's not yours to correct that. Your generation would like us all to believe that everybody likes everyone and we'll all get along, but that is not true. It's not the real life. It's an illusion. Nor should people like everybody.





Your language was crystal clear, there was nothing padded about it.

Alright, I'm going to step back because I'm not trying to get into an argument with you. I like you in general and im absolutely not interested in pushing your buttons or upsetting you any further. I did not realize that what i said was going to cause such a strong response in you, otherwise id have worded it differently or not included it at all in my reply, trust me. Too late now though, so whatever.

I would be interested in a discussion though. I am curious about all this, and I want to understand your perspective better. If its not too personal, how/why you think you have such an aversion for women? I honestly don't really care about the physical aspect - we are all gay here, we like dicks and men and all that. But what it is it about women intellectually/emotionally that you find so repulsive?

[InbetweenDreams]

I blame Victoria's Secret! I HATE the fucking place.

[LJay]

OH, [MENTION=23180]axle2152[/MENTION], give it a chance! You'll find something that fits you if you look hard enough.

Just kidding. Honest.

I had that same reaction when I walked by a beauty parlor this evening. What an unreal image of women!

They had posters and photos hung all over the place that looked line NO ONE ever seen in public.

[Confuzzled4]

For me, being gay is simply a matter of being attracted to guys. I can understand how for some it means more and has a cultural component to it because the world is still somewhat segregated in terms of sexual orientation, even if the behaviors themselves are not of a sexual nature. Generally "straight" men do not partake in the drag culture, or vogue, etc. Things are changing though where more and more behaviors are becoming universal to all sexual orientations. Now if there's more beyond that in terms of identity, it would be lost to me because I can't recognize anything beyond what I've said without being educated by someone else.

[meridannight]

Alright, I'm going to step back because I'm not trying to get into an argument with you. I like you in general and im absolutely not interested in pushing your buttons or upsetting you any further. I did not realize that what i said was going to cause such a strong response in you, otherwise id have worded it differently or not included it at all in my reply, trust me. Too late now though, so whatever.

I'm not mad at you, or anything. I just couldn't let that slide. I will defend people's right to have strong dislikes and aversion to things/people. I don't mean to drag this particular disagreement between us out, but, even though I don't feel the same, I fully understand how two men kissing is repulsive to some straight men (an analogy you brought out back there). Men and women kissing is likewise repulsive to me, or women and women kissing. It's the same thing, just different target. And it just is repulsive. I didn't intentionally think it repulsive, it's just a strong bodily reaction that is there whether I want it or not.

What is wrong is to think that your aversion applies universally, and that it should be basis for law or social standards. That is not what I agree with. But feeling that repulsion/aversion is absolutely within everyone's human right, and I will defend that.

I would be interested in a discussion though. I am curious about all this, and I want to understand your perspective better. If its not too personal, how/why you think you have such an aversion for women? I honestly don't really care about the physical aspect - we are all gay here, we like dicks and men and all that. But what it is it about women intellectually/emotionally that you find so repulsive?

Women are repulsive to me physically. You said that in a society where you couldn't be openly/exclusively with other men, you might not have a problem sleeping with a female. I don't have that option. Even if I was living in Saudi Arabia right now, I wouldn't have that liberty. It's either men, or nothing. I will die fucking men, if that's what the society forces on me. I have no other physical option.

You really wanna hear the whole story?

The physical aversion started from very early on. When I was 4, 5, or 6 years old. My mom used to take me to the sauna with her and other females, her friends, back then. It was uncomfortable for me, and I hated it. I remember I was disgusted with the female body and the way it looked already back then. And to have it touch me was even worse. Nauseating. You'd have to ask I don't know who why it was repulsion that I felt then, instead of something more positive. There are two options, in a situation like that, either your reaction is positive or it's negative (okay, neutral maybe exists as well). All I remember mine was strongly negative.

Why do you think that was so for a child like that?

Intellectually, I do concede that there is a number of females who are intellectually decent to have a conversation with. I can't stand the obvious barbie-doll-brain types (i think you know what I mean), but women aren't all like that and it is insulting to reduce them all to that level. Although, even though I understand this, I have no respect for women. Although I said that intellectually some of them are not that bad, I feel no respect for them either way. That probably plays a huge part in this. (I don't know why this is. When I was growing up, I was not, in fact, taught to be respectful of women. Not even my mom was respectful of other females, in fact, she was the opposite. I don't know how much that influenced me, and I am not explaining my disrespect with that, but thought I should mention, since you wanted to know it all).

But here's the key -- I feel no emotional connection to women whatsoever. It's completely missing. With men I am emotionally very much involved and connected to, it's obvious to me. And it's deep and intense, rich in texture, it's everything I love. With women it's not even there on the level of friendship. It leaves me completely cold. Even though having an exchange with certain females wouldn't be so bad intellectually, I'm simply not bothered to. Because of the fact that there is no emotional component, the exchange is dull and boring even if we're talking about a topic that interests me. There is no spark.

I should know because, I have, in fact, met a couple of females who I wouldn't even have minded to make friends of, because they were intelligent and decent people. But it's not there, it's boring to me, there's no drive, no connection, nothing.

So as it turns out, this emotional component is crucial to me in my social interactions with other people. And it's only there when I am with men. It has been, so far, 100% exclusive to males. I am that exclusive. I am 100% attracted to men, physically and emotionally. And I have come to like that about myself. My friends are all male, and in my daily life I near-exclusively only deal with males to the exclusion of females. I like that. It has become part of who I am, and what my life is like. I find it a positive side to my life, and I might be consciously and unconsciously reinforcing it where I can.

I am all entangled up in men, and it takes up all my energy and fascination with life; it is the most intense thing in my life. And it feels something beautiful. I do feel that introducing women to this world that I have ruins the symmetry/beauty of it for me.



So, does all that answer your curiosity?


PS. You made me type such a long post, I expect a cookie from you.

[InbetweenDreams]

OH, [MENTION=23180]axle2152[/MENTION], give it a chance! You'll find something that fits you if you look hard enough.

Just kidding. Honest.

I had that same reaction when I walked by a beauty parlor this evening. What an unreal image of women!

They had posters and photos hung all over the place that looked line NO ONE ever seen in public.

Did you ever have to go into the place. Well I got drug in there and my nose nearly bled. There's so many people trying on perfumes it is horrendous and something I hate about women, it is all the perfume, makeup and trying to look better. I mean I'd like to think most gentlemen (not all men are gentlemen) don't care if their girlfriend wears makeup or dresses a certain way. I mean if you're hot you're hot... I mean not saying you can wear a trench coat and get the same effect but you know what I mean.