09-13-2016, 12:08 PM
This is my first post here, hi to everyone!
Okay, I'm gonna try to explain my thing briefly... I am a 22 years old man ,who lives in a spanish speaking country, I describe myself as a masculine gay man, well I met somebody a few weeks ago, but the issue is that I don't know if he likes me, Ok is not that I don't know it at all, I obviously suspect it but...
My story is that I've had 2 bad trying to relationship experiences in the past two years which gave myself depth marks in my... well soul. And this experiences was almost one after another, was kind of hard to me to recovered myself for this thing, but finally I did.
I always have been and lonely guy, who doesn't put "relationship" as a goal in my life, kind of workaholic, but doesn't mean that I don't want to have someone in my life, in fact I'm one of those "classic" guys who expect to have someone to share his life with, and get easily bored of guys who only want "one night stand".
... Back to the topic. it wasn't a few month ago since I get fully recovered for my past mistaken relationship, I get my life fully scheduled again and feel great like anything before. and I enjoying being like this alone, but.
A few months later I enrolled in a new class and I met somebody that I begin to feel atracted to, but I don't know if he's also, but well it's seems like yes, but the problems is that I don't feel secure about myself, because those past process in my life leaves me drained, was hard to fight, and because I was alone, I lost my job, friends, my family rejected me, etc.... so in fact I'm scared to get again in this "depression" thing.
This man is handsome, he's masculine, a few years older than me, he's taller than me and he's muscular, he looks great and also he's nice to other people... well a damn hunk! and me I'm toned, but after my depression I lost a lot of weight, almost 20 pounds and I think that now I look more like a twink, I'm smaller than him (5'9" vs 6'2" I guess) and because of this I feel insecure about myself. (I'm recovering weight but not that fast, it's just not so easy as I thought haha.)
I have to clear up that despite of this situation, I'm not "insecure" to other people, I've never been, but now with this guy I feel different because what happened to me, and because I've never been with a guy like this, my ex relationships had always been with smaller guys/girls than me, but this guy seems huge compared to myself at everything (physically talking)
And this guy despite the way he seem, he's quiet too, and we didn't talk that much, only a few words about class topics, but he does weird things, you know... those things that somebody does when is trying to catch your attention. Example: He get close to me... We were putting some cards on a board and He interwoven his arm with mine "accidentaly" because he stood behind me (also he have a warm body and made me think of him cuddling me, and that made me upset), he smiles at things I said (even if I'm not talking to him), he put his papers over my desk "confusing it with his" (which is three chairs away)... you know weird things!
I don't want to think about those questions but a lot comes to my mind... I'm just confused about what to do.
Okay, I'm gonna try to explain my thing briefly... I am a 22 years old man ,who lives in a spanish speaking country, I describe myself as a masculine gay man, well I met somebody a few weeks ago, but the issue is that I don't know if he likes me, Ok is not that I don't know it at all, I obviously suspect it but...
My story is that I've had 2 bad trying to relationship experiences in the past two years which gave myself depth marks in my... well soul. And this experiences was almost one after another, was kind of hard to me to recovered myself for this thing, but finally I did.
I always have been and lonely guy, who doesn't put "relationship" as a goal in my life, kind of workaholic, but doesn't mean that I don't want to have someone in my life, in fact I'm one of those "classic" guys who expect to have someone to share his life with, and get easily bored of guys who only want "one night stand".
... Back to the topic. it wasn't a few month ago since I get fully recovered for my past mistaken relationship, I get my life fully scheduled again and feel great like anything before. and I enjoying being like this alone, but.
A few months later I enrolled in a new class and I met somebody that I begin to feel atracted to, but I don't know if he's also, but well it's seems like yes, but the problems is that I don't feel secure about myself, because those past process in my life leaves me drained, was hard to fight, and because I was alone, I lost my job, friends, my family rejected me, etc.... so in fact I'm scared to get again in this "depression" thing.
This man is handsome, he's masculine, a few years older than me, he's taller than me and he's muscular, he looks great and also he's nice to other people... well a damn hunk! and me I'm toned, but after my depression I lost a lot of weight, almost 20 pounds and I think that now I look more like a twink, I'm smaller than him (5'9" vs 6'2" I guess) and because of this I feel insecure about myself. (I'm recovering weight but not that fast, it's just not so easy as I thought haha.)
I have to clear up that despite of this situation, I'm not "insecure" to other people, I've never been, but now with this guy I feel different because what happened to me, and because I've never been with a guy like this, my ex relationships had always been with smaller guys/girls than me, but this guy seems huge compared to myself at everything (physically talking)
And this guy despite the way he seem, he's quiet too, and we didn't talk that much, only a few words about class topics, but he does weird things, you know... those things that somebody does when is trying to catch your attention. Example: He get close to me... We were putting some cards on a board and He interwoven his arm with mine "accidentaly" because he stood behind me (also he have a warm body and made me think of him cuddling me, and that made me upset), he smiles at things I said (even if I'm not talking to him), he put his papers over my desk "confusing it with his" (which is three chairs away)... you know weird things!
I don't want to think about those questions but a lot comes to my mind... I'm just confused about what to do.