Is it okay to NEVER come out?

[princealbertofb]

I posted this thread way long ago (back in Sept), but I'm surprised people are still responding to it!

Luckily, I do have an update for you guys!

To make a long story short, I came out to both of my sisters (although on separate different days, cuz it's awkward telling both of them at the same time). The end result? They were both cool with it and were completely supportive of my sexuality. Admittedly, my older sister acted a little weird at first. She appeared to be uncomfortable with the whole coming out thing judging from her reaction. This was while we were in the car. I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to come out since I don't often hang with my sister that often. Anyways, the very next day her demeanor changed. My older sister smiled at me and reassured me that she supports me 100%, as long as I don't do anything stupid and get HIV and whatnot, lol. On the other hand, my younger sister's reaction was different but positive as well. She said she always knew from the start that I was gay, which was why she didn't seem too surprised when I came out. Although she gave me a long lecture of advice, just her telling me to be careful. You know, stuff like that.

So yeah... it's great that I got the support from my sisters, but now it's time to come out to my parents as well, which won't be anytime soon. Perhaps at the end of the year I probably will.

Congratulations are in order, then [MENTION=23932]MisterLonely[/MENTION]. Very happy that you've been able to crack the door open.

[IndividuellaUni]

I'm glad you had that opportunity to come out. In a way, it's a bit nerve-racking, but well worth it in the end.

I'm out to only friends at this time. My immediate family and I are quite distanced (emotionally speaking) and have been that way for over half my life at this point. Though I wish I had that closeness with my Dad, he seems to not really care if I even call. My mother (whom passed away nearly two years ago) was always the one to argue against me, because I brought myself up. My brothers just tolerate me at this point.

So yeah, I leave it as this: The door is open. If you are willing to come in with an open mind and support me, then I will tell you what you may need to know. But at the same time, I do not wear my sexuality on my sleeve, and honestly I do not feel the need to go around telling people everything either. I guess that's the result of going to a high school where I was bullied for supposedly being Gay. But it's my life.

[princealbertofb]

That is a very true thing, [MENTION=24431]Alvin[/MENTION]. Letting that air into the closet, or opening the door slightly, is the first step. At least it gives you time to breathe, and not get swamped in self pity and anger.

A photographic illustration of that crack in the closet. It shows the enticing light but also the anxiety of stepping out.

[Dagger]

Of course! You don't have to come out!

[Dmytrus]

I didn't come out even if saying about parents and friends, in Eastern Europe we cannot dream about this. And i'm sad, because i'm open kind of person and i'd like to live without lie. Another situation i see in western world, you are really happy. I walk last time around Oslo and i see especially in the evening many couples which do not afraid anyone, it's unbelievable for my mind...

[72jay]

I see nothing wrong with never coming out.
Its really each person's own decision to make...

[Tjemka88]

I know I'll probably never come out if I continue living in the country I live in. Coming out would make my life hundred times harder than it is now. That's why I'd rather keep who I am a secret than deal with the shitstorm that would head my direction if I did come out.

[InbetweenDreams]

@Tjemka88 What are the prospects of you being able to move to another country like Sweden or Norway (not sure if those would be places where you want to move to)? I hate that you have to live in secrecy.

[Tjemka88]

@Tjemka88 What are the prospects of you being able to move to another country like Sweden or Norway (not sure if those would be places where you want to move to)? I hate that you have to live in secrecy.

In my case, the chances are very slim. Not that I wouldn't want to, but making a life in another country from scratch is easier said than done. Also, I'm not sure how having a criminal record works if you move abroad, but if it was soooo difficult for me to get a job here, in my own country after I walked out of prison, then I imagine it to be a lot harder in a foreign country where there's also a language barrier.

[InbetweenDreams]

That's true. Even moving from the US to Canada for instance isn't a walk in the park and you can literally drive there. I know criminal records do play a role as to whether they'll allow you in or not but it probably depends on the severity of what happened....and language barriers can be an issue.