I'm getting so lonely atm

[Anonymous]

Hey guys, I'm having a hard time atm with feeling lonely. I have about 4 or 5 friends but they seem not to want to do anything with me any more. BTW none of them ever met each other, as well three of them live miles away from me now.

I want to date a guy but every time they realise I've only got a few friends and then they lose interest too.

I need some new friends but I'm not exactly getting any younger and older i get the harder it is to make new friends.

Any suggestions would be welcomed.

[Insertnamehere]

Not sure if I can give advice.

I lost the one friend I had a few months ago and considering the failure that is my non-existent love life, I can at least sympathize with you on the whole "lonely" bit.

Meh, there are many things to do in life other than pursuing company. Sometimes it's better to be alone and when you least expect it company comes. Maybe pushing it only makes it harder to get.

Keep a healthy amount of contact with those friends and keep trying on the dating bit. Eventually you'll succeed at both.

[Confuzzled4]

I would say to look for gatherings involving things you'd like to do. A group sport, club, game, even a support group. Seems to be the case that the older you get the harder it is to make new friends, a sad thing I will agree with.

[calo379]

Hey guys, I'm having a hard time atm with feeling lonely. I have about 4 or 5 friends but they seem not to want to do anything with me any more. BTW none of them ever met each other, as well three of them live miles away from me now.

I want to date a guy but every time they realise I've only got a few friends and then they lose interest too.

I need some new friends but I'm not exactly getting any younger and older i get the harder it is to make new friends.

Any suggestions would be welcomed.

I don't know where you live, but I'm sure there are some fun activity exist around there. You should join some of community club in your area. You can make some new friends there. No matter whom you will meet (straight, gay, bi, or whoever.) At least you can make some friends and keep your company instead of staying home and thinking about your loneliness.

[CorsacReborn]

Hey guys, I'm having a hard time atm with feeling lonely. I have about 4 or 5 friends but they seem not to want to do anything with me any more. BTW none of them ever met each other, as well three of them live miles away from me now.

I want to date a guy but every time they realise I've only got a few friends and then they lose interest too.

I need some new friends but I'm not exactly getting any younger and older i get the harder it is to make new friends.

Any suggestions would be welcomed.

You don't have to live life having as many friends as possible. Don't think of it as a negative that your friends circle is small, I don't even have a large circle of friends myself but I don't let it bother me as some friendships I've had that have ended have been because they were very 1 sided.

Any guy who stops dating you because you don't have many friends is clearly not interested enough in you as a person, that is a fault in them and not yourself.

[InbetweenDreams]

Well I can say that I often feel the same way. I live out in the boonies, not a big gay community out here to start with and many people in the closet. I'm also a huge nerd, geek...dork whatever. I don't have quite as much in common with other people and it is just how I am and I suspect a lot of people have similar problems, plus I am more introverted than a lot of other people. So I don't have a lot of friends and of those friends they work, go to school, have their friends and family who they spend time with so it is often that I don't hang out or do anything for weeks it seems. I'd like to do more but then it costs money to go hangout at a bar or resturant. Some of my friends like the outdoors, some don't care that much or don't have time off at the same time I do. So yeah there's a lot of things I'd like to do more often with my friends than I am able and it is hard to plan to do things and I don't like wasting my vacation hours only for someone to tell me last minute they can't do something...

Anyway, what I am trying to say is you're normal. The best advice I can give is stay busy, find a hobby or something you enjoy doing. There's nothing wrong doing some things you enjoy alone, for instance jogging....you're going to be pretty disappointed how many friends you can get to go jogging with you. Even people who jog all the time. I'll pick on jogging, I don't jog that much but I know people who do, I get the feeling they don't want to really jog with me because I am not going to jog 10 miles with them and my pace is a bit slower.

As far as dating goes, well same thing here, small gay community, plus most of those who are around aren't interesting, good looking and all but most aren't doing anything, most are boring, have no hobbies or passions for anything and if they do it just doesn't click with me. So of the guys I think are attractive, either they won't go on a date or speak to me or they're boring as hell. Out of the bunch there might be a couple of guys who I might end up dating at some point in the future....if they don't hightail out of here before then lol

Bottom line is, it is fine to have a few friends, keep bonding with them, be the instigator, I'm trying to be more of one myself. I always feel like I'm bothering people at times but I think some of my friends got the feeling I didn't want to hang out with them when the opposite was true.

A little excerpt from this old 90's song...

Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good
Be nice to your siblings, they are your best link to your past
And the people most likely to stick with you in the future
Understand that friends come and go
But a precious few, who should hold on

Can read the whole thing here... http://www.metrolyrics.com/everybodys-fr...rmann.html

Anyway get to feeling better, no sense in wasting time feeling bad when there's always something to do, even if it means watching cartoons.

[Anonymous]

Cheers guys, just at a low point, I'll try some of the things you lot have suggested. I think at least got one good friend. They rang me the other day to see if I was okay as we haven't spoken in a week as he was stressed out with getting a new job.

At least I got one good mate.

Dating is still hard guys just seem bored with me as soon as they realise I don't go out with my group of friends on a Friday or what not.

But again I've found person who doesn't care as they don't have that many mates themselves.

[InbetweenDreams]

I don't think guys would really care so much that you do or don't go out on Friday nights... So not sure what's really going on... maybe they think you're not interested in them or something?

[meridannight]

How about this: is there anybody in your circle of acquaintances (colleagues and other people you come in contact with more or less on a regular basis) whom you don't really know that well or at all but whom you like? Those guys you like, you could approach them, have a chat, and invite them to a dinner/drink/concert/etc. Anything that allows for a more involved interaction and opportunity to get to know them.

If you want to make new friends, you probably will have to approach people you like, and put yourself out there for them.

[LJay]

Are there Meet Up groups in your area? Volunteer or find a group of any sort that has people your age. Don't worry about meeting people, just get out and around a little., You are likely to get yourself in a better mood that way and that will help you meet others.