Gay & Fat

[Ibex]

I'm overweight, but I like my appearance at times. Like when I walk passed the mirrors in the house I'll have a look at my face and go "Yeah, you're handsome". But then I see my stomach and manboobs
The reason I became overweight is because I became passive (not in the sex kind of way, just no exercise) and ate so much shit back when I was 16-20 years old.
And as I get older, loosing that extra weight becomes harder and harder. I want to loose it, for my own sake mostly.
I definitly want a firm butt hehe.

Guess this fits in this section.

[InbetweenDreams]

Some gay guys, or people in general, are pretty damn cruel.

I get it, most guys aren't into guys who are overweight, fat...whatever. I'm not really either. Depending on who you ask, I'm fat, I'm not desirable.

Back in 2012 I quit smoking, I started eating healthy, I also started running. I wanted to lose weight and feel good about myself. I went from 205 down to 179, but I didn't stay there. After 4 months I stopped, started smoking again, went into depression, gained all the weight back and then some.

Last year I was up to 248 lbs. I was pretty much fat, at that point. I may look decent being on the heavy side, I get a lot of comments saying "I didn't know you weighed that much." However, doesn't change the fact that I'm overweight and for my own health, I need to lose it. Not to please anyone. I have heard it all, been told I'm fat...Even got this message...



I had tried to get started back on the treadmill and exercising in the mornings before work but I was having a hard time sticking to it. I had dated a couple guys off and on and there was a remark made that basically told me, at the time, that personality isn't enough. I for the most part agree, you can like someone a lot but if you're not sexually attracted to them it's a bust. I mean I know a couple who don't have sex, but seems to be an odd thing if you ask me. Sometimes things that people say hurt and can really damage you, even if that was never the intent. Trust me, I've cried and cried for hours because I thought that someone I liked a lot at the time thought I was fat and was saying it in a nice way.

At any rate, I think the thing is to not try to lose weight for someone else, or because you want to impress someone else or hope that they'll think, all of a sudden, that you're attractive. To me, that's cruel, not only to yourself but how shallow someone would have to be to actually do that. Oh but that 20lbs that came off really make you glow. Fuck that.

Lose weight for your health's sake. I think we're both about the same age. It is very true that the older you get the harder it gets. I lost 40 lbs between September of last year through July of this year. It took a lot of work. Look for a thread I started about losing weight, I forgot the exact title in this very moment, but I did a triathlon back in July. Not a big long one but still took me over 2 hours. If you want to lose weight, food is a good place to start, exercise too. My advice, having gone through it a few times is to start easy. Start with things that are easy to change and don't do it all at once. Don't think you're going to start a vegan diet tomorrow and run 3 miles, you will feel miserable and you'll quit. Give up soda at first, change one small thing, like a snack, or eat out less. Go for a walk, then maybe run for 20-30 second intervals, eventually it will become easier. Can talk more about strategy and more advice later if you like.

Anyway, I wish people, including myself were less critical about appearance in that regard. Perhaps love would come easier for everyone.

[Ibex]

One thing you have to keep in mind. People trash talk others to make themselfs feel better.
Especially over the internet.
So remember that, and you should be fine.
Have a "No fucks given" attitude to such bullshit. It's what YOU think of yourself that matters. And if you don't think much of yourself, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

Like me:
I had been living pretty much unconcious for 8 years (20-28). One day I felt the need to change, wanted to become more social. So joined my dad at bowling, then joined the club he is in.
For about a year, that was enough. But one day, near the end of the year, I had a panic attack and started feeling like I need to start trying to get work.
So I got an appointment with the social services thing here, got into a kindergarten, worked there for 6 months. And I've gained some confident. Unfortunatly that part of the program I'm in is over. Now I'm in another department, which I'm so not motivated to show up to.
So I might try and get a job at that nerd store with the guy I talked about in another thread. I'm pretty sure I'll want to go there each day that I have to work there. It seems like a fun place to work, at least until the end of the summer break next year.
(Need to get an education, still want to work with kids).

My overweightness is keeping me down too. So I want to do something about that, but with motivation down, it's hard
And my damn left leg is in the way atm.


Find something you're good at = gain confident.
Working out is also a good way to gain confident I hear.
If you don't mind it, try finding a sport you might like.

[knickerbuck]

as long as you feel good about yourself .. it doesnt really matter if youre fat or skinny .. lose weight if it troubles you mechanically or if you want to look better depending on your view of aesthetics .. as for me .. though i want to lose weight im not sad or depressed in my current state .. people who see you as ugly because youre fat should keep their mouths shut imo if theyre not doing anything to help people out of what they see is a problem .. i hate to admit it sometimes .. but yes ok .. im fat .. but imperfections keep you humble .. lol and not lose your head...

[InbetweenDreams]

Everyone has their preferences. I think a lot of guys like [MENTION=24036]Ibex[/MENTION] say talk trash to make themselves feel better (the screenshot I posted of Mr. Asshat). I also think a lot of guys have expectations that who they date looks like a model, or say a twink.

I just hate it when guys message me in order to mess with me or make themselves feel better by manipulating me.

Looking back in hindsight I don't believe I've had a boyfriend who actually did care about me, meaning there was something else they were after and it was sex or freeloading off of me...but that's not relating to this.

I think a lot of it is just self loathing, you hate yourself because you want to look a certain way so that either more guys, or some guy will find you more appealing. It's easy to do. Here in the US there's basically a "war" against fat people. Claiming that fat people are just lazy people who stuff too much food in their mouths and drive healthcare costs up... However, while that is popular belief and makes sense and in a lot of cases true. Not all "fat" people are unhealthy...

[Genersis]

I've been losing quite a bit of weight over the last seven months. Losing around 13kg/28lb.
Not really sure I'm doing a good job of it, really should get more exercise and try and eat more, rather than making loses through eating what I worry may be too little.

I decided to start losing weight during an odd period where my depression and social anxiety eased up a little. I joined a dating site, then just figured it was something I could probably manage, and that I'd like to be relatively in shape at least once in my life.
While that period of extra activity has sadly passed. I'd still like to lose another 6.5kg/stone.

[InbetweenDreams]

I'd like to lose at least another 25 lbs...I really would love to get down to 170... I think anything less I might look a bit on the skinny side, I have pretty broad shoulders...

I'll start doing something...

I swear if I had bigger boobs someone would come up and ask when I'm due...

[Genersis]

I'd like to lose at least another 25 lbs...I really would love to get down to 170... I think anything less I might look a bit on the skinny side, I have pretty broad shoulders...

I'll start doing something...

I swear if I had bigger boobs someone would come up and ask when I'm due...

Come on now, I doubt that very much.

[Insertnamehere]

I've seen some fat guys I've liked. Hell, I'm not particularly fit myself so any comment on my part about that would be purely hypocritical.

[LJay]

Every 35 pounds you lose lets you show another inch of dick.

Go for it guys!