You can call this topic whatever you want..

[TwisttheLeaf]

You both sound unreasonable. You both sound angry and resentful.

You both -probably- have grounds to be angry and resentful at this point.

The question you need to ask yourself is if you really even want to be in this relationship anymore.

It doesn't sound like it.

[Gemini]

I actually asked him twice that we need professional help to maybe save our relationship. He then tells me "I don't need help, you need help!" -_-

IDK. Maybe put it to him that you're not saying HE needs help, you're saying that THE RELATIONSHIP needs help. Wouldn't he rather be comfortable and content in his relationship than at war all the time.

[East]

I actually asked him twice that we need professional help to maybe save our relationship. He then tells me "I don't need help, you need help!" -_-

The thing with relationships and anger and resentments..they can add up and kinda confuse you and make you crazy so I find it helpful to focus on the one deal breaker...and block everything else out..the one thing that is the most important....

...and this statement above would do it for me. OF COURSE you both need to go...as you said..it is "our" relationship....his response would bother me...alot...

As for the hotel thing..I totally get it....but maybe if you went..you could replace his old memories with new ones of both of you? Always remember...there are alot of ways to look at any situation...and the point IMO is to give you mental freedom...

[Insertnamehere]

From what I've been reading all the way back to that racist incident at work (was that you? I'm not remembering wrong?) he has been neglecting you, taking you for granted and being insensitive towards you for a while.

It may be that he does still care about you, but all of this, as you point out, came up when he took notice he might be losing you. Sadly, that is the way with pretty much any of us, about different things: not appreciating what we have until we lose it.

If it was me and, of course, you are not me, this whole thing would be a too little too late on his part. And what's not to say that if you give him another chance he won't return to neglecting you?

But, I don't know him, you do, so what to do is up to you, naturally.

I'm sure that he was good to you for quite a while, but things seem to have deteriorated in a rather permanent way.

In any case, whatever you do, I would advice against the lashing out behavior and the things you're doing to purposefully hurt him. I know that you're hurt yourself and that hurt is justified but repaying pain with pain is not the way to go. It will ultimately do YOU no good, especially since you are still sharing a household with him.


Stay strong and do what is best for your well being, mental, physical, emotional.

[Ammon]

[MENTION=23097]Insertnamehere[/MENTION]

Yes it was I who made the thread "racist co-worker"

good memory

the song craig david, you don't miss your water till the well runs dry comes to mind.
I know that he loves me but something is holding him back, like he is afraid to admitt it.

Today I noticed he was trying to make it up for the ruined weekend. At first he asked me if I wanted to go buy dogfood. and I said no, I'm good. and he asked me "are you going to stay home this whole day?"
me: what else is there to do?
him: you can come with me
me: fine

after that we spoke as if nothing happened then he asks if I wanted to go to thai restaurant (he knows that I like eating thai food.

so we did that and then he tells me " I booked for us a hotel in 2 weeks" -_- (the reason for 2 weeks is because this week we have the kids)

I feel that I'm in a rollercoaster.

also thanx all for the advice and understanding. I simply don't have a clue on what to expect next. I also know he had the day before tears in his eyes of regret and not of what I said.