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11-07-2016, 07:25 AM

MacGuy Wrote:...he said he wants to hang out and maybe have sex sometimes along the way but that feelings ruin that kind of thing!

My take away from that?

You can fuck him.
Or you can be his friend.
But you can't be both.

Gemini · 11-07-2016, 03:59 PM

[MENTION=20758]MacGuy[/MENTION] --- IDK man, I'm still stuck at "he wants to hang out and maybe have sex sometimes along the way but that feelings ruin that kind of thing!!!!"I

I'm thinking he means that he wants NSA, like sort of FWB but no emotional connection. And he thinks you're developing feelings for him, so he's backed away.

From your posts, I don't think you want (or could handle) strictly NSA with him. SO is it maybe time to let him go? Talking to him every day isn't going to help you with moving on.

IDK, I'm certainly no expert, and as [MENTION=20738]TwisttheLeaf[/MENTION] says of himself, I tend to be abrupt and maybe a little too straightforward with people. If it were me, I would tell him that we seem to want different things and that I want to take a break from the daily chats for a while. I AM NOT telling you to do that, just how I would handle it.

11-07-2016, 05:34 PM

Gemini Wrote:[MENTION=20758]MacGuy[/MENTION] --- IDK man, I'm still stuck at "he wants to hang out and maybe have sex sometimes along the way but that feelings ruin that kind of thing!!!!"I

I'm thinking he means that he wants NSA, like sort of FWB but no emotional connection. And he thinks you're developing feelings for him, so he's backed away.

From your posts, I don't think you want (or could handle) strictly NSA with him. SO is it maybe time to let him go? Talking to him every day isn't going to help you with moving on.

IDK, I'm certainly no expert, and as [MENTION=20738]TwisttheLeaf[/MENTION] says of himself, I tend to be abrupt and maybe a little too straightforward with people. If it were me, I would tell him that we seem to want different things and that I want to take a break from the daily chats for a while. I AM NOT telling you to do that, just how I would handle it.

Hi there.. Thanks a lot for your advice. Firstly I definitely agree with you on not being happy with just NSA!! And I possibly think his words about feelings ruining things may have been a warning to advise me not to get too close!! So I've decided to back off and had until this morning when he phoned me for advice on an issue that came up. I helped him out but I'm bAcking off now and remaining distant and will see how it develops. I just am too interested in him personally to just be someone who screws around with him every now and then when it suits him... And I know most of us have been guilty of wanting the same thing with others every now and then.. Thanks again.

11-08-2016, 06:34 PM

Just to update, got a couple of msgs and snaps today that I haven't gotten back to, so I'm waiting for the "whats up message" to explain what I'm thinking.

Gemini · 11-08-2016, 06:50 PM

What you said - I just am too interested in him personally to just be someone who screws around with him every now and then when it suits him -I think it's great that you know this about yourself - I see too many guys get really hurt because they hang on in these situations, hoping the other guy will suddenly change his mind. Keep us posted, I'm interested in hearing his response.

11-08-2016, 08:57 PM

Gemini Wrote:What you said - I just am too interested in him personally to just be someone who screws around with him every now and then when it suits him -I think it's great that you know this about yourself - I see too many guys get really hurt because they hang on in these situations, hoping the other guy will suddenly change his mind. Keep us posted, I'm interested in hearing his response.

Thanks will do! Resisting the temptation to fall into the FWB's trap is made all the more difficult when he sends some great looking snaps of himself😐😐😐

11-09-2016, 04:01 PM

TwisttheLeaf Wrote:My take away from that?

You can fuck him.
Or you can be his friend.
But you can't be both.

Er.... ? Friends with benefits??? [MENTION=20738]TwisttheLeaf[/MENTION]

11-09-2016, 04:19 PM

MacGuy Wrote:Hi Guys. So I could really do with some more advice!! So i spoke with him and we talked and I asked him why we hadn't done anything recently? He said he hadn't done anything with anyone since and that he wasn't feeling sex at the moment. I said thats cool but where are we in terms of getting to know each other better and that for me it didnt have to be just about sex and he said he wants to hang out and maybe have sex sometimes along the way but that feelings ruin that kind of thing!!!! I don't even know what that means. But long story short, he keeps in touch constantly but never asks me to hang out. But he's very careful to always snap or chat on a daily basis! But yet he has time to take hang out with other friends.. My point is I think I'm too much into him to be friends and I'm planning on cutting him off for a while to clear my head? What do u guys think? Does this make me childish or is it best or what is his game? Any advice is appreciated!!

I feel sad for him that he hasn't experienced that, on the contrary, feelings enhance sex and intimacy a lot. He's maybe one of those people who value their liberty and no-chains -attached sex more than they value a relationship. Maybe he's still in 'sowing my wild oats' mode. It could also be that he has a rather cynical view of intimacy, but what brought that on? What in his upbringing is he trying to emulate or crush?

11-09-2016, 07:25 PM

princealbertofb Wrote:Er.... ? Friends with benefits??? [MENTION=20738]TwisttheLeaf[/MENTION]

You highlighted exactly why FWB wouldn't work. He doesn't want any kind of an emotional connection. Friendship inherently has an emotional connection. It's not a romantic connection, but there's still an emotional connection there.

Thus, it would have to be NSA...... or friendship.

11-09-2016, 07:34 PM

Another snap and txt today from him today and when I reply he doesn't read it☹️... What games do people play!!!