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In need of your help, for real. Desperate.
#1
Hi.

I think I might be hiv positive.

As this is not the first time for me to have "hiv scares" I must admit this time I actually got the reason to worry.

I am moderately educated on HIV but I really need you people to back me up and share information and, to be frank, show support.

I noticed I have one swollen lymph node under my cheekbone, my gums are bleeding and I have hpv from before.

All of the above count as early symptoms of hiv. I haven't had flu-like symptoms so far, no severe headaches, no fatigue, sore throat or similar.

For the record, I haven't had any unprotected sex during the last year at least except the instance when my condom broke, after which I immediately pulled out.

I am thinking about it all the time, for days on end. Even during the busiest hours at work, this thought lingers and it's eating me out. It cannot be stopped.

I don't live in the United States, the UK nor anywhere in the Western Europe, my country fortunately lets HIV treatment be covered under public healthcare.
My insurance is paid by my company and I am one hundred percent sure the moment they realized I had HIV medication in my records, I'd be laid off. Even though there are laws, they would get away with it and no one would bat an eye.

If this turns out to be true, I'd have to keep it a complete secret. No one could know.

Boy, I'm really desperate.

The very thought of me going there and getting tested terrifies me to the point I can barely breathe. I know how traumatic it was the last time I tested and was negative.

I just don't know if I could carry on with my life. I am seriously considering suicide. The only argument against it is my family.


Also, even though I'd be able to obtain medication and some treatment, I am sure it's not as good as it is in developed countries, but what can I do. Something tells me I really got it this time.


I would REALLY, REALLY appreciate if there are some poz guys here who could share their experiences, tell me about their first symptoms et cettera. Not just them, anyone who's got information regarding this. Basically anything.

My apologies for making this post so long, but this might be the biggest crap I've intended upon myself.
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#2
I know several people who have HIV, they are all under routine medical care for it. They all are able to live the lives they choose to live. They aren't letting HIV+ define who they are as a person. They are all fairly healthy, and just have to be careful about things most of us take for granted, like the flu, common colds and stuff.

Take the plunge, get tested, find a friend to go with you if you need the immediate support. It's not a death sentence.
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#3
http://www.emedicinehealth.com/image-gal...images.htm

This is a chart of your lymph nodes. You'll notice that there are none in the facial area. So, I don't know what's swollen under your cheekbone, but it isn't a lymph node.

Bleeding gums can be caused by many conditions, from gum disease to anemia and others.

Calm down and go get tested. It's the only way to know for sure. But HIV would be far from my first guess in this situation.
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#4
I thought I got it once after some Twat was walking about in a club stabbing people with a needle. I was getting ill etc, more to with the worrying about it. So I got tested and I was clear. While I was the I asked for the full works.
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#5
Actually, thinking this over, I'm wondering if you need to see a dentist. Bleeding gums plus swelling under your cheekbone which could be coming from the gums. IDK, just a thought.
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#6
Gemini Wrote:Actually, thinking this over, I'm wondering if you need to see a dentist. Bleeding gums plus swelling under your cheekbone which could be coming from the gums. IDK, just a thought.

Impacted wisdom tooth
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#7
1. Get tested for HIV.


2. Swollen lymph nodes, bleeding gums. That sounds like you have periodontal disease, or an infection of the gums. What is your oral health like, do you brush, floss, etc? Do you take care of your teeth or family have a history of gum disease? A lot of people have it and don't know it. It can't be "cured" but going to the dentist can make a world's of difference, you really have to take an aggressive approach to oral health.
"I’m not expecting to grow flowers in a desert, but I can live and breathe and see the sun in wintertime"
Check out my stuff!
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#8
I looked it up and it's probably gingivitis(inflammation of the gums) which happens to be one of the early symptoms of HIV.

I am going to get tested. I just need to ask my manager to give me a day off and I'll get it over with. Usually, the HIV scares go away when I realize I'm being unreasonable but I cannot shake this one off.
I am assured I have it and I am slowly trying to come to terms with it. I just don't want to pass out in the waiting room.

Another complicated thing is that I'm on Lithium and I can't seem to find anywhere on the internet whether or not antiretroviral meds are in interaction with it.

Thank you, good people of the Gay Speak.

I'll keep you posted.
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#9
[MENTION=19061]Jason111[/MENTION] Gingivitis is also quite common period, especially folks with western diets...meaning foods high in carbs and sugar. Even if you brush often and all that many many people get gingivitis and gum disease. Therefore, if you're one who doesn't take very good care of your teeth you can have pretty bad gingivitis or even full blown gum disease.

That being said, that is no excuse not to go get tested. If you have been having unprotected sex with random guys (or whatever, doesn't matter who) go get checked out. Then go see a dentist. Trust me, if you have gum disease, best to get it under control sooner. Gum disease doesn't cause tooth decay, but you teeth will fall out as the bone and gum erode away from the chronic inflammation, over time the bone that secure your teeth will eventually be gone.

Not sure where you're at but usually HIV tests are a blood test. The one I had took two tubes and about a week of waiting.
"I’m not expecting to grow flowers in a desert, but I can live and breathe and see the sun in wintertime"
Check out my stuff!
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#10
I'm not 100% here, but I believe the standard treatment for HIV is the same globally, more or less. You get a combination of drugs designed to hinder the virus, which lets you lead a normal life (except obviously, don't infect others!!).

As for symptoms and self-diagnosis, stop that immediatly and go get tested ASAP. Maybe it's HIV, maybe it's something else, maybe it's nothing. Get tested. That is the only way you will know. If you get laid off, so be it. I know this seems horrible to you, and it is, but you can deal with this! Find that strength!

I'll be thinking of you.
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