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I came out to father two years ago. We were having dinner, talking about what life could be in the years to come before my departure for Germany. Somehow the conversation reached a point where he said it was fine not to get married as long as I was happy with it. (Apparently, he had no idea that I was gay.) So I took the chance to elaborate on the issue of "not getting married" and said that I had always wanted to share something with him but wondered if he could possible take it. He said go on, and you know the rest of the story.
It was really beyond my expectation that he would be so composed. He told to take care of myself since not everyone in China would be tolerant with LGBT. Though we rarely bring out this topic again (I guess it takes time for him to digest the information.), I still regard my father as one of the most open-minded parents I could possibly imagine.
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When I was about 15, my aunt was asking me why I didn't have a girlfriend and my mom said, "Because he's gay". I had never said a word to her about it, and it blew me away that she was so matter-of-fact and casual. My aunt regrouped immediately and asked me, "Well then why don't you have a boyfriend?" My family being the way they are, everyone knew within a few days. There really wasn't much reaction. It wasn't as exciting as my cousin getting busted for cooking meth lol. My parents were divorced by then, and when my dad found out he blamed my mom. He wasn't pleased, but since I hardly ever saw him, it didn't much matter.
If asked, I tell the truth, but I can't say I've ever made an issue of telling people. It comes up or it doesn't.
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Quote: Who did you come out to?
(For this I'm excluding online forums, since there I'm just another username on the screen)
Basically Nobody.
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Coming out was so scary for me. It's crazy to think, my uncle is openly gay and so is my sister and yet there I was bricking it.
I knew it wouldn't be a problem for my family, the problem lied with my anxiety and how I would feel about myself. In the end, nothing changed but everything changed at the same time with myself. I finally accepted myself for who I am.
I didn't actually tell anyone I was gay, my mother asked if I was more than friends with my current boyfriend I admitted there was. My mum is such a gossip but in this occasion I let her off. She went and told my entire family over the course of the next few weeks, she was happy for me I think and wanted to share that. This made my life easy since I didn't have to actually tell anyone and haven't needed to talk about it either.
In my adult life people have assumed I am straight but it wasn't always that way, school was terrible for me the physical and verbal abuse made me anxious about coming out and being gay in general but my family have helped erase all that. I wouldn't say that being gay is easy for me either, I am still worried what people may think me and I still wonder would life would be like if I were straight.
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Matt608 Wrote:When I was about 15, my aunt was asking me why I didn't have a girlfriend and my mom said, "Because he's gay". I had never said a word to her about it, and it blew me away that she was so matter-of-fact and casual. My aunt regrouped immediately and asked me, "Well then why don't you have a boyfriend?" My family being the way they are, everyone knew within a few days. There really wasn't much reaction. It wasn't as exciting as my cousin getting busted for cooking meth lol. My parents were divorced by then, and when my dad found out he blamed my mom. He wasn't pleased, but since I hardly ever saw him, it didn't much matter.
If asked, I tell the truth, but I can't say I've ever made an issue of telling people. It comes up or it doesn't. ... and quite honestly, it's nobody else's business if you are gay or not except maybe to your sexual partners... of course.
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oldsoul Wrote:Coming out was so scary for me. It's crazy to think, my uncle is openly gay and so is my sister and yet there I was bricking it.
I knew it wouldn't be a problem for my family, the problem lied with my anxiety and how I would feel about myself. In the end, nothing changed but everything changed at the same time with myself. I finally accepted myself for who I am.
I didn't actually tell anyone I was gay, my mother asked if I was more than friends with my current boyfriend I admitted there was. My mum is such a gossip but in this occasion I let her off. She went and told my entire family over the course of the next few weeks, she was happy for me I think and wanted to share that. This made my life easy since I didn't have to actually tell anyone and haven't needed to talk about it either.
In my adult life people have assumed I am straight but it wasn't always that way, school was terrible for me the physical and verbal abuse made me anxious about coming out and being gay in general but my family have helped erase all that. I wouldn't say that being gay is easy for me either, I am still worried what people may think me and I still wonder would life would be like if I were straight.
What this show, though, [MENTION=24434]oldsoul[/MENTION], is how much society has progressed, in that people don't naturally assume that you're straight anymore. Being gay is an option like any other option, and people are attuned to that. The fact that in Chechnya, for example, they still claim that " THERE ARE NO GAYS!" is anathema to most of our more tolerant societies. And I daresay our societies are healthier for it.
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princealbertofb Wrote:What this show, though, [MENTION=24434]oldsoul[/MENTION], is how much society has progressed, in that people don't naturally assume that you're straight anymore. Being gay is an option like any other option, and people are attuned to that. The fact that in Chechnya, for example, they still claim that "THERE ARE NO GAYS!" is anathema to most of our more tolerant societies. And I daresay our societies are healthier for it.
Hear, hear!
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I'm not out. I think about coming out almost everyday, even right now, in this specific moment, but it's just my business, I'm private etc about everything, so I'm always undecided about it.
I think I'll come out without problems if I were in a relationship (both with a girl or a guy).
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