Internalised Homophobia.

[deephiance]

What is internalized homophobia?
Internalized Homophobia is something that virtually all gays have to confront (or have yet to confront) in their lives. The simple definition is that internalized homophobia refers to negative feelings that we have towards ourselves because of our homosexuality.

Internalized Homophobia | Revel & Riot
http://www.revelandriot.com/resources/in...omophobia/

Those of us that grew up in the 70's and 80's when homophobia was more than just bad words, understand what fear is.

Back then the favourite past time was what was called (In Australia) 'Poofter Bashing', and when the victims body was found the news only reported the man to be 'unmarried and of questionable character'.

Of course, at this time homosexuality was still illegal and you were often arrested and even 'roughed up' by the cops just for being gay. The Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardis Gras began in the thick of this homophobia in 1978 and most of the participants of this protest were arrested, and those that were not arrested were bashed.

In this day and age I often wonder, 'What is the fear of being gay all about?'

[JohnMusic]

Could the bible or leviticus 20/13 have to do with it.

Just a thought.

[Doc]

While the anti-gay violence doesn't occur on a large scale anymore at least in civilized countries, there is still anti-gay violence. When I was part of my units S.H.A.R.P. program we were told that many times when a male soldier was raped it was because his attacker believed him to be homosexual and they wanted to "teach him a lesson". I know of two cases on the post where I was stationed at for 3 1/2 years and how many more went unreported. I also believe that people are mostly cunts and hold anything against you and admitting homosexuality can make you an outcast or worse.

[Emiliano]

I think it takes more than legalizing homosexuality to dismiss the negative connotations many people associate with it. It needs a no risk of being punished for being gay or anything about it, and not to be treated or viewed in any separate way. And feeling that way oneself, too. But many people don't feel that way yet, so it's still something a lot of people do. Ending internalized homophobia would take an acceptance on the inner self scale and the outer social and cultural scale.

I think it's important that any group of people can know they and others like them have a place in the broader society. They need to see it and participate in it. Established institutions like the military, how [MENTION=24108]Doc[/MENTION] described, would have to see it as another normal way to be, too.

So even if there's no backlash against the current process of acceptance, it may take more generations until gay people as a diverse whole can grow up without experiencing anything that would make them feel like they are in someway held back or bad or at risk and are powerless to change that.

[Insertnamehere]

^ If you ask me, I prefer the legal aspects done with first. I'm not interested in 17 million cunts thinking it's ok to be me as long as it is legal for all aspects of me, to be!

Which makes no sense, but then again I rarely make any sense.

Then again, it would be nicer to not have this culture of the underground in which if you're gay you do your life indoors, even when out of the closet. Oh and the rare but nonetheless present violence would be nice to not see again.

As for the topic. Oh sure, what the hell, I hate being gay. I hate it like the plague. I'd much rather be a miserable straight dude than the miserable gay rat I am now, but then again the ideal place is to be a happy gay dude....which may just happen within the next years if all goes well.....and then maybe I won't be thinking the same way? Who knows?

Gah, my life was always meant to be like that, I guess. Who the fuck cares anyway?

For the moment, you can dump as many internalized homophobia accusations on me as you please

[deephiance]

Just so people understand, I did not start this topic to point the finger.

I started this to create a dialogue to make you think as individuals, and make you each challenge your own beliefs.

I started this discussion to make you realise that we are all the change the world needs and we can't just sit back and wait for someone else to move forward while the rest of us walk in the protected shadow.

I am challenging you to be the one that creates the shadow because each of you are more capable and strnger than you give yourselves credit for.

[bromance17]

Gays on the internet in my region are more homophobic than str8 people. They like watching porn, take porn selfies with their asses out , they dont flirt, they are 24/7 online but they dont talk to anyone and mostly they are not into meeting someone. It's kind sxichophrenic. Nowadays you cannot understand if someone on grindr, planetromeo is really gay or just someone bi-curious or narcisist str8 that wants to pass his time during his lunch break or just wants to boost his self confidence.

[Zen]

My two cents worth...

I think that there is always a social element which impacts the individual and whether or not they feel supported enough to come out.

My personal circumstance was to be from a working class, largely homophobic Irish and Scots family, maybe some of the comments were throw away, but growing up in that background I found that I'd do anything to avoid being seen as a 'shirt lifter' or a 'fruit'.

Going to a largely working class school in London in the early 90s when 'homosexuality' was still not allowed to be discussed, some educational clause or other, being surrounded, by people that looked down on anyone that was considered intelligent or perceived as gay, made me even more determined to be straight in that working class environment.

I think that these are powerful influences and can determine how you deal with your sexuality. Being Bi, I got by with girlfriends but my sexuality is very fluid and sometimes it's all about emotional and sexual attraction to guys, at those times I used get very depressed. I still do if I'm honest. I often wonder if women are 'pretty' or 'cute' but guys are 'sexy'. But I guess that's a whole other issue I guess.

In another set of posts there is a debate about 'types' of gay guys, and the wider the spectrum of LGBT people out there the more this will help. I think that sport has a big part to play here. Particularly as it is such a big part of many societies and can be very homophobic. A guy I greatly admire is Gareth Thomas, Welsh rugby player, he came out as gay whilst at the top of his game as he couldn't take it anymore. I think that more working class guys would come out with more Gareth Thomas's as role models.

So in terms of internalized homophobia, it's always been about me rather than other people. I've always been accepting of other people's sexuality, but not my own, I link that back to my social context. I've met some great guys over the years but stopped short of trying to start intimate relationships with them.

Quite a long post, but I feel that internal homophobia is something that I've experienced. This is my truth. Hopefully I won't be judged too harshly.

[Cowboy]

My two cents worth...

people looked down on anyone that was considered intelligent or perceived as gay, made me even more determined to be straight in that working class environment.

I think the cure for homophobia is education, any kind of education. Even if it has nothing to do with homosexuals. I have yet to meet and educated person that is homophobic, many are supportive and they are at worst indifferent to homosexuals. I mean no offense to anyone but it is mostly the uneducated and under-educated working poor, that really hate homosexuals. Maybe it has something to do with under developed brains. Ive met some very religious and conservative people that were pro gay but they were also educated. [MENTION=24253]Zen[/MENTION] is right, the working class dislikes homosexuals and the educated.

[Zen]

I think the cure for homophobia is education, any kind of education. Even if it has nothing to do with homosexuals. I have yet to meet and educated person that is homophobic, many are supportive and they are at worst indifferent to homosexuals. I mean no offense to anyone but it is mostly the uneducated and under-educated working poor, that really hate homosexuals. Maybe it has something to do with under developed brains. Ive met some very religious and conservative people that were pro gay but they were also educated. [MENTION=24253]Zen[/MENTION] is right, the working class dislikes homosexuals and the educated.

Thanks for your input cowboy. Yeah I kinda laid low educationally at school. It was only after leaving that background and going to university that I realised that people were more open. I still carried a lot of my social class baggage with me for a long time than though.