Hi

[RhinoPrime]

Hi, I'm RhinoPrime. I'm 34 and just coming to terms with my sexuality which is difficult because I am a member of a religion that frowns on same sex relationships.

Every day is a struggle because of the loneliness and the deep fear that I am becoming an atheist. I don't see any way to reconcile my spiritual beliefs with my sexuality. I just know that I am tired of hearing that I'm broken or somehow innately wrong for feeling what I feel for men. I am also tired of people assuming that it is lust or just about sex. I have sexual urges like any other person but I also have a tendency to fall in love very hard. I like romance but I am dying inside because I can not express that part of myself.

I don't have to give up my faith but I feel like it has been dying on its own because of all the repression and self loathing instilled in me since I was a child. I knew I was different when I was very young. I am out to my brother and a few close associates but I am still lonely and feel like I can't be myself. I don't think I can live the rest of my life without someone. It seems so far away, that word that is reserved for straight people, that word that is tossed around so freely that it seems to have lost all meaning. I feel like half my life is already gone, more than half if you count my poor health but I can't seem to move forward.

It would do me a lot of good to make friends with people who are like me. So hi there everybody. I'm not usually this melodramatic but I have been very depressed lately. Looking forward to a few laughs and new friendships. I just need some support and encouragement from people who won't see me as some kind of freak of nature behind fake smiles.

I am into gaming but I have severe anxiety and can barely play online with the friends I do have. I like to read mostly science fiction/ fantasy and horror. I also secretly write erotica when I am not moping about. I love epic trailer music and I listen to it while daydreaming the stories I create in my head (maladaptive daydreaming). Yeah, I know I am strange but I don't mind.

Nice to meet you all. Please excuse my rambling. It is 4:20 am here and I should be asleep.

[Dan1980]

Hi welcome to GS

[alet]

I feel most of your struggles except the religion, yes I'm somehow an atheist. I have a lot of tarot reading app on my phone to get through my daily life, I love the way they lie to me. I wish you'll find your way to happiness soon.

[deephiance]

Just a thought, but does religion REALLY frown on homosexuality, or has it just been misinterpreted over time to suit someones phobia(s)?

I ask this in hope that at some point you can reconcile your religion and sexuality and be at peace with both.

[Doc]

You don't have to give up your religion, I started having homosexual experiences when I was 19 at the same time I converted to Catholicism and I still practice heavily. I know Jesus Christ doesn't hate me and my religion is about love. Your relationship with god, is just that between you and god I wouldn't concern myself with what others think, God made you as you are. What is your religion if you don't mind me asking?

[artyboy]

Welcome to GS.

Religion is a personal choice, your sexuality isnt though, but I think we all have some sort of reason to be here regardless of your religion.

[TigerLover]

Welcome to GS

Your faith is not your religion and your religion is not your faith.

I'd say it's time for you to undertake a spiritual journey and find where your beliefs truely lie. As the buddhists say there are many true paths to god.

And should your voyage end on the shores of atheism know that there is nothing to be afraid of there. Losing your faith in god is painful at first. But you soon develop a faith in mankind and science that you'll find far more fulfilling.

[artyboy]

Atheism is boring to me lol

Im agnostic which most people are these days even though most dont have a clue what that word means lol!

[knickerbuck]

god is not what others think of you ..

[artyboy]

Well sure basic Athiesm is boring, it's just the absence of a thing. But the truly great thing about Atheism is that you can upgrade to various optional extras.

The humaninism package which is super warm and cuddly.

The rationalist package which is thrilling and makes science more fun.

You can embrace the stardust philosophy which is just plain awesome.

You can accept truth as the number ome virtue. Which lets you feel smug in your "morally superiority".

You can be a determist which will blow your fricking mind.... not recommended by me despite the fact that I am one.

And if you miss the rituals of religion you can enter the church of the flying spaghetti monster, worship the invisible pink unicorn or become a fake pagan. Feel like a badass by invoking the wrath of Odin before a football match.

.....Or you can become one of those crazy cultish people who ramble on about how the singularity is due next Tuesday.

ALL of which is totally exclusive to Atheism.

Dude I made a thread for this as I thought this subject (Agnosticism) would take over this thread lol!!