true love

[alaa]

why does it become so so hard to find true love in ourdays??everyone i after s** and money and that's it,i really feel sorry for what we've become.

[Dan1980]

It is hard to find some one, but you will.

[TwisttheLeaf]

There are over 7.4 billion people in the world. This makes the potential of finding a match excellent in theory, and yet mathematically staggering if you believe in the "the one and only soulmate" theory.

[deephiance]

I think the internet has largely removed traditional courting and made anonymous sex too easy to get.

Men generally only think with one part of their body, and being gay the only consequences of anonymous sex or hook up sex is disease, and that can be limited by protection.

I also think that once sexuality becomes a non-issue, traditional courting will make a come back...It is still there, but it is hard to find.

[TigerLover]

Well we are still young. Barring some tragedy We have about 50 years to look for our life partner.
No harm in screwing around a little now.
As for chasing money... that's completely sensible. It's fine to be poor now but it's really important to start building capital or a career for the future. Being old and poor really sucks.

Having said that anonymous sex does become a little boring after a while. Personally I've switched to a fuckbuddy system.

[MikeW]

why does it become so so hard to find true love in ourdays??everyone i after s** and money and that's it,i really feel sorry for what we've become.

How much of what you are pining for is just fantasy? That's the question you should be asking yourself. So much of what young men (especially young gay ones, it seems) have in mind is some sort of 'fairytale' fantasy of what "true love" is supposed to look or be like. A romantic image in their brain that has been cultivated by art and culture (literature and film, mostly) and has *very* little to do with real life.

What does it mean to "love" someone? Is it just lust? Is it infatuation, a crush? I think most of us here would agree that, although we may feel those things, they are NOT "love".

Love is when you really like someone *as they are* and you want to spend more and more time with them.

Love is risky because, if it is based solely on 'lust and infatuation', it can very quickly dwindle to disinterest or, worse, open hostility. Love requires that I be *vulnerable* with the other guy... and THIS is the problem. Most men do not want to be *that* vulnerable (especially with other men).

So, to my mind, the question doesn't have to do with "love" (whatever the hell that is), it has to do with INTIMACY. Our willingness (or lack thereof) to BE intimate with another man.

And this insecurity about intimacy is far from something NEW or unique to contemporary times. Trust me, I've been around long enough to know. In my experience, men FEAR intimacy... fear that kind of openness and vulnerability. They'd MUCH rather keep things "safe"... superficial, just sex, no commitment.

Of course, that's a generalization. The reality is, men DO fall in love with one another. But if you think that's going to be hearts and flowers, a white picket fence, all flutter and no grit, you're in for a HUGE disappointment in life.

The reality, IMO, is FAR better than that. It is far more painful, too, but that's part of why it is REAL, not some airy-fairy fantasy of what "true love" ought to be.

[Lexington]

It's never been easy to find "true love".

Think about how easy it would be to find somebody to have a pleasant but brief 30-second conversation with. Not very hard at all.

Now think about how easy it would be to find somebody to have a pleasant meal with. A bit harder, but you probably could do it without that much effort.

Now consider how easy it would be to find somebody you could have an enjoyable sexual encounter with. (No strings attached.) That one would be somewhat tougher, but still do-able.

Now consider how easy it would be to find somebody you could spend a long weekend with. Not just share the room with, but be with pretty much the full three or four days. Now it's getting pretty tough.

...now consider how easy it would be to find somebody you could spend several years with. And you're realizing how difficult this can be.

I'm not saying this to make you (or anybody else) feel depressed or think it's impossible. But so many people seem to think it should be like ordering a sweater online. "Here's my size, here's what I want, send it." But it's nothing like that. You're not just the buyer - you're the seller AND the product, too. And there's often no way of telling from the outset how things will work with any given person. You have to meet them, and interact with them, and see what happens. And a lot of the time, nothing much happens. Or one guy feels something but the other guy doesn't. Sucks, but there it is. All you can do is keep an open mind, and keep meeting people.

Also, the whole thing about "true love" being difficult to come by is exactly why it's so rewarding when it shows up. If it was like, oh, internet access, we'd just take it for granted and be pining over something more difficult to come by.

Lex

[Shawn]

As some has told, the definition of love depends on each person, and what they or they living societies has builded on their minds to be like. maybe your definition of true love may vary from my own meaning.

For me true love is when you can get someone who desires you, is your true friend, have the inner feeling of being with you, and found boring* the idea of being without you. A person who doesn't is afraid of being really honest with you, and yes you must have the coincidence to feel this list of sensations for that person too.

I don't think this is a problem of today's society found love, it's because social media. Because some people in the past tended to fake this list of sensations, just to shows to others that they had the perfect relationship or marriage, etc.

Why? because I remember my grandmother standing a lot of deceats from my grandfather, just because it was tradition, but before society they had a 'long and happy marriage' before he passed a few months ago.

Social media, just doesn't allow people to do their things hided. so theres a lot of dishonest people who are being discovered... so that's why it's seams that is hard to find love nowadays.

[MikeW]

[linkonme01]

i dont know how to use it. but i want to say hi to you.