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Boyfriend cybercheats.
#11
You've been together for 8 months and that's the worst thing he has done!!!!! Beat off with a stranger via webcam!!!!!

Thank your lucky stars,,,,, and give him a big kiss when he returns. You've got a keeper!!!!

Sin-cerely,
Jim
We Have Elvis !!
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#12
I think it is not the same as beating off to porn, mostly because the other person is real and you never know where the chat could lead. I'm sure many hook ups have started with what was considered an innocent webcam jack off session.
Besides, if he wanted to jack off with someone, why didn't he Skype with you?
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#13
If he's being completely honest, then great, give him another chance.

But I've learned from experience that there are some who do things like this not because they feel bad, but because they hunger for drama, and his confession was trying to provoke fighting, drama, an attempt to punish and dominate, or other ulterior motive, and giving him another chance just means he'll try even harder next time to bait you. Hopefully this isn't the case, but it could be.
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#14
Forgive him.
Sounds like he got dicknapped, but in terms of cheating that has to be the smallest possible offense. And he's apologetic. Honestly he comes off as cute..
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#15
So to totally update everyone, I forgave him. It was not a big deal and I am happy that he came and told me. Basically I said I dont have a problem with porn, but if anything is borderline cheating or not sure if it is cheating, then dont do it. He agreed, and we moved on. Thanks for the opinions!
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#16
MikeW Wrote:Frankly, I don't see what the BFD is. Now LYING about it would be what would get me upset. But just jerking off to images of another guy? Why should I care? We're MEN... gay men in particular... why can't we enjoy the fact we're MEN and like to get off? We all do it. We don't always and won't always do it with our partners (assuming we even have one) either. Where's the beef?

I am going to call you out because that is bull. A majority of us want a good relationship that leads to a future. House, kids, decent job, a husband. Cheating is CHEATING. If you want to live in a world of open relationships more power to you. That is not for me. I am a gay man but I strongly believe in monogamy! It has been like that for years! Life is not all about sex.
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#17
Jonathan Wrote:I am going to call you out because that is bull. A majority of us want a good relationship that leads to a future. House, kids, decent job, a husband. Cheating is CHEATING. If you want to live in a world of open relationships more power to you. That is not for me. I am a gay man but I strongly believe in monogamy! It has been like that for years! Life is not all about sex.
I'm not sure how expressing an opposing opinion is "calling me out." You're entitled to whatever kind of life you want and think you can build for yourself. You're right, life isn't all about sex. But then again a good relationship isn't all about sexual fidelity, either. I've been in both monogamous and open relationships. Both had rules. "Cheating," strictly speaking, can only occur when an established and agreed upon rule is broken... and that can happen in either kind of relationship. Bottom line, what matters most in any relationship is openness, honesty, and communication (genuine intimacy). Without that, any relationship is bound to fail.
.
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#18
MikeW Wrote:I'm not sure how expressing an opposing opinion is "calling me out." You're entitled to whatever kind of life you want and think you can build for yourself. You're right, life isn't all about sex. But then again a good relationship isn't all about sexual fidelity, either. I've been in both monogamous and open relationships. Both had rules. "Cheating," strictly speaking, can only occur when an established and agreed upon rule is broken... and that can happen in either kind of relationship. Bottom line, what matters most in any relationship is openness, honesty, and communication (genuine intimacy). Without that, any relationship is bound to fail.

Just like you have your right to your opinion. Your last quote came off like you were against monogamy and kind of came off as defensive. I believe you are right to say cheating is when you break rules. In my current relationship cheating is pretty black and white. and it might not be in all relationships. For me, I know I am a good looking person, and I dont have an issue in the dating scene. But I am also very conservative within relationships. Even being gay I strongly believe in a traditional 2 people relationship. The only area im ok with is Porn, but that about as far as it gets within outside things in the relationship. We talked about a 3 sum months ago, I thought about it and said no. I believe that if someone really wants to be with me they will respect my beliefs about the relationship. But I do agree with you with the communication. We are good on that, even when we had past issues. We have this no BullS$#@ Policy.
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#19
FTR (and sorry to reply to an old thread) most straight women hate their boyfriends jerking off to porn (I'm just giving this as an example). Porn I can cope with, it's nothing more than a mere fantasy. IMHO though, to engage in any kind of sexual contact with another guy when you're in a monogamous relationship is wrong. Everyone has their views, but no doubt mine will be overlooked in a world where hookups and open relationships are standard.

Your boyfriend was honest with you, and that alone is a one of the best values a person can hold. It does sound like he's genuinely sorry, so I'd just move on. I wouldn't be so forgiving if it happened a second time, though.
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#20
Since he honestly confessed himself, I'd forgive him. But if I caught him doing it again, I'd feel reallly uncomfortable, even though I'm not sure if this counts as cheating.
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