Not a date, not a hook-up, something in between?

[Flyerboy95]

Hey all, thought I would share my experience from today with you.

A friend I went to school with was back home in my city from University over Christmas, and we arranged to meet up today. We've only ever been friends, apart from in School he had a crush on me, but the 3 year age gap was too much. Now it's not, because he's 19 this month so it feels comfortable. The plan was for him to come round, have a cuddle and watch some films.

We did that, however after a couple of hours of cuddling, it turned into giving him a back rub, to rubbing his body to rubbing his... well you can guess that bit! We didn't have full on sex, but did the rest of it on each other, had a cuddle after then I dropped him back home. I don't have any feelings of wanting a relationship with him, and I don't think he does with me, I wished him a good time back at Uni and that was that.

So what would you classify it as? I wouldn't call it a hook up, because we knew each other and chatted, cuddled and watched films also. But it wasn't a date. Just wondering what it would fall under, or maybe it doesn't have to be labelled.

I felt a little strange after, as although he's 19 this month, he does still have such a baby face and is such a cutie, although i know there's nothing to feel bad about because he's not a kid.

Anyway, just wondered what your thoughts are. Hope you're all well :-)

[Thundanton]

I don't think it has to be labelled but I would say it was a friendly encounter that turned into a hookup. it seems like you were just feeling each other out at first, since it had been a long time, so you both didn't know what to expect. But then you got really comfortable with each other then sexual tension slowly started to build up, as it usually does with two gay guys alone in a room with each other, and then you hooked up! No intentions to start something or do it again, just to give each other pleasure at that given moment.

[Flyerboy95]

I don't think it has to be labelled but I would say it was a friendly encounter that turned into a hookup. it seems like you were just feeling each other out at first, since it had been a long time, so you both didn't know what to expect. But then you got really comfortable with each other then sexual tension slowly started to build up, as it usually does with two gay guys alone in a room with each other, and then you hooked up! No intentions to start something or do it again, just to give each other pleasure at that given moment.

Yeah I agree with what you've said! I think other times we'd met the age gap had been too significant, for example when he was only 17 last time, but now he's 18 and almost 19 it felt ok to do that stuff.

It's certainly a new experience for me, having it one off like that with no emotional attachment! Usually I can't separate my emotions from sexual desires, i.e. I usually can't have sex with somebody unless I have an emotional connection with them - I guess I sort of did with him but as a friend.

[TwisttheLeaf]

Friends with benefits?

[Flyerboy95]

Friends with benefits?

Maybe so, but I thought with that it was a recurring thing? This was the first time we'd done it.

[Cridders88]

Maybe so, but I thought with that it was a recurring thing? This was the first time we'd done it.

Well perhaps it could become that?

[Flyerboy95]

Well perhaps it could become that?

I don't think so as he goes back to Uni across the other side of the country this weekend.

[drobs]

I think they call that a NSA - hookup.
No Strings Attached.

Meaning - just having sex to have sex (get each other off) - not looking for a relationship, endless emails, dating with clothes on, etc. If the sex was good - you might expect that it will turn into a fuck buddy. Otherwise, it's usually a one off event.

Usually NSA hookups get to the point a lot quicker... Meaning no watching a whole movie, long periods of cuddling, or a long back rub. Most NSA hookups start with some kissing and then both parties are taking their cloths off.

[MikeW]

....So what would you classify it as? ...

Not everything falls into neat pre-designed categories. Sounds totally wonderful to me. You and a friend had some hot fun together. It may happen again at some point, who knows. And why not? Maybe you will become fuck-buddies or suck-buddies or whatever. Frankly, I wish guys would just lighten up a bit about sex. Just relax and enjoy it.

[LJay]

When I was in high school that would have been called making out but who really cares. The best thing is that it happened. Mike is right. Loosen up and just go with it.