does age matter in a relatonship?

[Fafner]

As far as the age thing goes, as long as you guys connect on more then one level then I don't see a problem with it. Just know the difference between being a boyfriend and a toy.

Oh and Salty, you might like this if you like bunnies ^^

[Shadow]

I think age is a very relevant consideration in a relationship, but perhaps not for the most obvious reasons.

I don't think age should be a precursor to preventing a relationship - not by any means, nor do I harbour ANY negativity towards people in non-matching age relationships (my first boyfriend was ... ooh ... about 17 years my senior !!) - all I mean is that there are a number of things that must be considered when large gaps in the age of the parties to a relationship are a factor.

Things like, if this is going to be a long-term relationship, at which age will the parties retire ? You might think it's nice to be with somebody that's perhaps more established (by which I mean professionally successful; mid-career perhaps, etc., etc.), but when that person is going to retire 10-15 years, say, before you then (unless they're FABULOUSLY wealthy and can afford to enable you to retire alongside them), it's going to SUCK @SS when you're working and they're lying in bed going "Mmmmmmmmm wish you could stay here with me", non ??

There are other things as well, of course ... like the health of the parties, even the life-expectancy of the parties (which sounds really REALLY nasty of me, but I have to be pragmatic since the question was asked) ...

... but that's about it as far as I can tell ... NONE of the above should be viewed as a bar to entering into what could be a good thing mile: - I just feel that it does raise a number of considerations which both parties to the relationship should be aware of.

mile:

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

[Michael]

Such a difficult one....

Simply because relationships work first on attraction and being sennsible doesn't happen until all the ripping off the clothes action settles down, which of course is often too late to think things through or listen to those around you who might have a bit more....ability to see clearly.

The answer is NO, age in itself should have nothing to do with being with someone. The realities of an age difference do. There are lists of things that even a few years difference in age can complicate what interests us in a relationship. Experiences already had/ yet to have. Work related issues, generational questions, education, travel.....over all life experiences. Relationships that work need to be a partnership of equals on at least several levels. Wishfull thinking only works while all we can think of is ripping off each others clothes. And sad to say...Love DOES NOT conquer all. Whoever came up with that cliche never lived through abusive husbands, addiction or a whole host of other things.

BUT, if (against all those odds), you really do meet someone where everything works, age in itself shouldn't be a hold up. None of us know when our ticket is up (could be two years from now and we missed the best two) or where life will take us...too much if, if, if when none of us really know what the future holds.

But the reality is that 9 times out of 10 too much of an age difference doesn't allow long term for either partner to be fullfilled. There ARE exceptions, but the chances are pretty slim. Like those people who go on about THEIR grandma smoking until she was 100 while millions of other peoples gradmas died at 60.

In the end, real love, true love is such a rare thing that if you find it not age or race or religion should matter. The trick is knowing what's real and what's not.