No idea what comes next

[MikeW]

My life before this job has been nothing but anxiety and stress trying not to end up in the same financial situation as my parents. I grew up almost dirt poor and now I frequently give them money when they ask because I don't even need a good chunk of it. I never had the chance to figure out who I was in school/university since I was focused on moving out of poverty. I have a good job and my finances are secure, but I'm "in a slump" because my personal life feels a bit empty . Essentially the only reason I bother to go outside is because of my job. If, in a hypothetical situation I won the lottery, I would never even leave my house. It likely has something to due with my lack of self worth, but I just don't know how to improve my self esteem,

I'm sure there are many of us who can relate to having low self-esteem now or at one time or another. I'd like to be of help if possible and I'm sure others here would as well. But to do that we have to try and get to know you a bit. Yes, you've told us some stuff.. better than nothing... but not nearly enough.

Or... you might seriously consider going the professional route. That is what I did when I was your age. I began seeking professional help because I knew I needed it. For me it took leaving the midwest and moving to a whole new world (so to speak) but that's what I needed. Only you can discover what you need.

If you're at all like me, you've not been given what you need to form a good sense of self Self Image or self esteem. I certainly was not. Quite the opposite. My dad berated me and told me I was good for nothing every chance he got.

It is one thing to get out of a family dynamic. It is another thing to get that family dynamic out of one's own head. As children we internalize so much of what is told to us, whether it is true or not. It becomes the "voices" that rule us.

So what is keeping you indoors (besides the weather)? Why not go out and do something? Why are you hiding? What are you afraid of?

One strange thing I learned long ago is that fear is excitement turned upside down. One might also say "inside out". We fear what excites us the most. I don't know you but from what little you've said I wonder if you fear your own passion and all that it could lead to for you?

The only way out of something like this is through it. It is step by step. I cannot say what steps you need to take. Coming here and posting with us is, perhaps, a first step. But it can not be the only step, the only risk, you take. There must be many more.

If we can be a support we are happy to do so. However, it is your life, and you must take the steps. No one else can do that for you. Clearly you're capable. You wouldn't be where you are if you weren't. Keep that in mind. Nothing ahead of you is something you cannot do. Its just a matter of finding out what you truly want and desire and beginning to implement what it takes to fulfill those wants and desires.

It doesn't all have to be drudgery like going to school either. Some if it could turn out to be fun!

[Camfer]

That's awesome that you've not only pulled yourself out of poverty, but also you are helping your folks out when they need it. Make sure you are funding your own retirement now. The sooner you start the better off you will be.

Could you ask a couple of people at work to join you for a drink after work at a nearby place? Can you get lunch out with co-workers? Just some baby steps here to start to build something social outside of work and family.

[drobs]

How about a hobby that includes some self improvement?

There's bunch of folks getting into Bushcrafting (outdoor woodsman skills) myself included. It's almost a bit like a "back to the land / back to nature movement."

Check out: http://www.bushcraftusa.com

This website has youtube video instruction on how to preform a certain skill - like building different types of fire, cooking on the fire, setting up a camp, & enjoying nature. The website has homework too - you watch their video on some task, try it out yourself, take pictures of your progress, and share them on the website.

Below link goes to the classes.
http://bushcraftusa.com/forum/forums/bushclass-usa.132/

What's the point of it all? It's a hobby that gets you into nature. Go find some woods nearby or rent a cabin on your vacation. Most cities have forest preserves or parks that you can hike / camp spend a day or week in.

Try something new or improve on old skills. Could branch into other DIY type hobbies. Plus it will get you out of the office.