Could I be gay

[Jakej29]

Ive always liked women a lot and here and there I'd have attraction to guys. But recently I've mainly been thinking about guys . Aside from now regularly watching gay porn I also have actually gone on dating sites many times and to talked to alot of guys and I really enjoy it because I feel a lot more confident when talking to guys, plus I'm not afraid of I end up being gay

[InbetweenDreams]

Ive always liked women a lot and here and there I'd have attraction to guys. But recently I've mainly been thinking about guys . Aside from now regularly watching gay porn I also have actually gone on dating sites many times and to talked to alot of guys and I really enjoy it because I feel a lot more confident when talking to guys, plus I'm not afraid of I end up being gay

[MENTION=23285]Jakej29[/MENTION] Seems that your post got held up in moderation queue.

Couple of things to realize about sexuality. Think of sexuality being of several layers, or dimensions for instance. Some of us are very much straight, only attracted to women, some are attracted to both men and women, and some just men. I do believe that to some extent we are all a bit bi-sexual, even the gay guy who gags when vagina is in a sentence.

As far as answering your question, well you could be going through a "phase" or could have something to do with other things going on in your life. A friend of mine had a girl friend who cheated on him and did some other shitty things to him and now *poof* he's gay. I have heard other stories similar. Not everyone's story about being gay or discovering that they were gay were from being on band camp.

I'd say, unless you are in a committed relationship, go on a gay hookup app (i.e. Grindr) and strike up a conversation with someone you find attractive. Don't just dive in the deep end, make for a little conversation and be sure that you feel comfortable, the second you are uncomfortable about anything, meeting him, fucking him or being fucked, pull the plug.. Use protection by all means and don't feel ashamed to ask if they have been tested for STD's and vice versa.

When it comes to being gay, depending on where you land on the "scale" of gay and straight and what you want out of relationships and so forth you need to think about whether or not you just want sexual encounters with guys which is fine. Do you want to find yourself in a serious relationship with a guy? That's ok too. There are hurdles to cross over.

At any rate, not knowing your age and so on just experiment, make friends, ask questions. Definitely stick around on here there's quite a few folks who know way more than I.

Do note the 50 post count. If you want to blow through that quicker, go to the word games one evening when you're bored and get through that and a lot of things will begin working too besides not having to wait.

[Doc]

First I think your age matters if you're 20 or 90. If you are young you may be discovering new things if you're old its still possible but not as likely. You could be bisexual though. Have you ever done gay things before? experimentation? Have you ever had sex with a woman? These things are all important. I think alot of guys here find women attractive and like them but not sexually, like me I love the idea of having a girlfriend but the sexual part always made me feel uncomfortable so now I have girl friends instead of girlfriends.

[InbetweenDreams]

First I think your age matters if you're 20 or 90. If you are young you may be discovering new things if you're old its still possible but not as likely. You could be bisexual though. Have you ever done gay things before? experimentation? Have you ever had sex with a woman? These things are all important. I think alot of guys here find women attractive and like them but not sexually, like me I love the idea of having a girlfriend but the sexual part always made me feel uncomfortable so now I have girl friends instead of girlfriends.

I agree with most of what you said but what does age have to do... I would think many guys in their late 40's, 50's who had put it in the closet for either the stigma or having to raise kids... Just throwing that out there. Not everyone gets to experiment and figure things about, this is a whole new era for people to explore their sexuality with a lot less resistance and abuse from society in general...

I envy how much simpler life appeared without the internet and social media that the older generations had, but when it comes to social acceptance of being gay, I'm very grateful because it is fucking hard to find a guy who is handsome, has their shit together who also wants to end up in a permanent relationship.

Not trying to nit pick or anything, perhaps you're looking at it differently..

[princealbertofb]

I agree with most of what you said but what does age have to do... I would think many guys in their late 40's, 50's who had put it in the closet for either the stigma or having to raise kids... Just throwing that out there. Not everyone gets to experiment and figure things about, this is a whole new era for people to explore their sexuality with a lot less resistance and abuse from society in general...

I envy how much simpler life appeared without the internet and social media that the older generations had, but when it comes to social acceptance of being gay, I'm very grateful because it is fucking hard to find a guy who is handsome, has their shit together who also wants to end up in a permanent relationship.

Not trying to nit pick or anything, perhaps you're looking at it differently..

This is probably what women and gay men looking for commitment have felt for a long long time. Is it due to the roving nature of male sexuality? Demanding that he be handsome is maybe not too realistic, but one who is good enough for your relationship shouldn't be so hard to find. Handsome is as handsome 'does', or as handsome 'thinks', might be more to the point. But so much of this owes it to what dirt the seeds have been planted in. You need to feed the earth, use compost etc... to nourish it better, so the trees can grow, to speak in metaphors.

No, oraganised (state, social, religious) denial did not make life any simpler. Yes, it's still a complicated world and a complicated issue. But progress has been made, not enough probably worldwide. These things are slower than we'd like.

[InbetweenDreams]

This is probably what women and gay men looking for commitment have felt for a long long time. Is it due to the roving nature of male sexuality? Demanding that he be handsome is maybe not too realistic, but one who is good enough for your relationship shouldn't be so hard to find. Handsome is as handsome 'does', or as handsome 'thinks', might be more to the point. But so much of this owes it to what dirt the seeds have been planted in. You need to feed the earth, use compost etc... to nourish it better, so the trees can grow, to speak in metaphors.

No, oraganised (state, social, religious) denial did not make life any simpler. Yes, it's still a complicated world and a complicated issue. But progress has been made, not enough probably worldwide. These things are slower than we'd like.

I think it is human nature to seek someone who physically pleases us to look at.... That being said I don't think I am too unrealistic on looks, I'm not waiting for Zac Effron or whatever. Now if you're saying I should just settle because I get along with someone, well I get along reasonably well with other people... I just get a gut feeling about people and go with it... There are thing about people that make them attractive or unattractive that don't have anything to do with their looks... For instance, someone who is rude to a waiter/waitress, I don't care how adorable they are...I'm don'e with them.

I think my other remark about the "good old days" is mostly tongue and cheek, the good old days sucked. I mean my grandparents were on a farm...so really the good old says are now. What I was referring to was childhood, things were so much easier, so much more free time...and now, it's work and hoping to do something fun on the weekends but I feel like I'm waiting for a rubix cube to align sometimes.

[princealbertofb]

You're mixing up handsome and attractive, both can be found in the same person, but I'm sure there are very handsome people who have some unattractive qualities. Someone plain but funny can be attractive, but you wouldn't call them handsome. I therefore assumed, [MENTION=23180]InbetweenDreams[/MENTION], that you were talking about the physical aspect of a person, something that first attracts us visually, whatever their other qualities. So, of course you're not looking for Zac Efron lookalikes, because there are fewer of them than the number of people interested in such a physique in a partner, but looks are just a very shallow thing to use as a marker for a partner. Don't lower your standards, just make the list longer of things that could possibly keep your partnership going.

I get the tongue in cheek part, but what you've lost in innocence you've gained in experience... C'est la vie.

[InbetweenDreams]

[MENTION=1766]princealbertofb[/MENTION] So I told someone who is well both of those things, handsome and so forth, not saying he's all perfect. He had lost a lot of weight and yes he looks great because he did but I told him that if I knew him that I would still date him and like him just as much, there's just something about some people you meet that is magnetic about them, best way I can describe....

Anyway, I think we're hijacking the thread so probably should wait for [MENTION=23285]Jakej29[/MENTION] and see hear more on his sides of things...

[princealbertofb]

[MENTION=1766]princealbertofb[/MENTION] So I told someone who is well both of those things, handsome and so forth, not saying he's all perfect. He had lost a lot of weight and yes he looks great because he did but I told him that if I knew him that I would still date him and like him just as much, there's just something about some people you meet that is magnetic about them, best way I can describe....

Anyway, I think we're hijacking the thread so probably should wait for [MENTION=23285]Jakej29[/MENTION] and see hear more on his sides of things...

Still waiting for him to come back and tell us what he thinks.