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A sort of groan maker
#1
Stopped for gas and to buy a drink. When I pulled in, I noticed these two cops watching a woman who was smoking while fueling up. I was thinking, "Wow...what an idiot! The police are standing right there!"

I went inside and got my drink. As I was paying, I heard someone scream, "Look outside!"

The woman's arm was on fire!!!

She was running around like a chicken with its head cut off, waving her arm around and just going nuts. We all went outside and watched the cops put her on the ground and put the fire out with an extinguisher.

After all the craziness, I started walking to my car and I saw the cops put her in handcuffs.

The guy next to me yelled, "What the heck?!?" (I, of course, stuck around because it looked like the guy was a jerk and I wanted to see what would happen next.)

He asked the cops, "What in the world are you arresting her for? After all, wasn't catching her arm on fire punishment enough?"

I kid you not...the cop looked him dead in the eye and said, "For waving a firearm"...

"You can be young without money but you can't be old without money"
Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams
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#2
A little far fetched for a pun.... but anyway.
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