Its all over but the crying :)

[Doc]

Im going to be leaving this forum soon so I figured I'll make a farewell post. I wanna thank everybody that has helped me along the way.

Last Thursday at school Josh was feeling me up and giving me little kisses in the stairwell and I told him if he wanted to do that, then don't do where anyone could just walk in and catch us. So he pulled me into an empty classroom/ studyroom and he was kissing and groping me, I'm not really into that, but he likes it so I don't want to tell him no. An older women walked in and caught us and she didn't seem to have a problem with it, I think she thought it was kinda cute. But Josh was shaken and embarrassed, was all weird the rest of the day and didn't hang out with me after classes like we normally do. Anyway he called me Friday and he said he thinks maybe we are making a mistake, and we should stop seeing each other. He said that with him living at home it would be hard to have a secret relationship with me, even though I said we could always go to my house. I've tried to call, text and FB him but he didnt answer back, yesterday in class he completely ignored me, he literally played the you're dead game and pretended that I wasnt there. Anyway after class I cornered him in the stairwell and told him straight up; he was being a total cock, and he had until Thursday to either talk to me and explain himself and I would understand if he didnt want to date anymore or I would beat him up. I think he is being so unreasonable, Ive done my best to make him feel comfortable the only reason he got embarrassed was because he couldn't keep his hands to himself. He is mad at me for something that's his fault. I never pushed him into anything I told him we could have sex as little or as much as he wanted and whenever he wanted. I think he was a virgin before we had sex and I dont think he has any friends because he never mentions any. He is almost a virgin with no friends that lives with his mom he needs to realize, he needs me a hell of a lot more than I need him. I dont even care if we are even a "thing" anymore, I just want to know why he is being like this. So either he talks to me or Im just going to beat him up in the parking lot after class; Im going to have satisfaction one way or another. He doesnt look like a fighter to me and Ive seen him naked he has no muscles and a small cock I dont think he is man enough to take me. It figures that it was too good to be true, I just thought that it might have been a good relationship. Anyway I know alot of you guys were pulling for me and figured you would be interested in what is happening. I know I sound a little crazy but I just wanted to make him hurt a little for hurting me.

When I cornered him in the stairs he would even look me in the eye, it nearly made me cry, I was thinking what did I do to him to make him hate me. Maybe I should just stick to casual sex. It bothers me so much because I thought it was going so well, we were having fun and I had bought him a nice pair of sunglasses that came in the mail today, they were supposed to be a gift.

[seeking]

Hey there, I'm really sorry to hear that. It's the most frustrating situation that the other one doesn't even try to communicate... even if he wants to separate, he could just say something, anything as a reason. But like this, not even a word, is just making people insane.

Anyway I get that you are pretty furious but beating him up would just make a scene and probably make things worse, so if you ever come back to see this...don't do it.

[Cridders88]

Ah man, I am sorry to hear this Doc . It seems to me like he isn't truly ready for a relationship by the sounds of things. And what he is doing now reeks of immaturity. I would go as far as saying he isn't at all comfortable with his sexuality just yet either, judging by his recent behaviour. These problems can arise when in a relationship whilst closeted. These are all guesses, it is a frustrating that he isn't talking to you to give you proper answers.

I understand you are angry, but threatening to beat him up really wasn't the right thing to do in my opinion. Violence doesn't solve a great deal, it may make you feel better temporarily, but apart from that it does the square root of jack shit.

And please don't give up. You were clearly pursuing this because you wanted something more meaningful than just sex. Sounds like a cliche, but there is truth in the saying you have to kiss a lot of frogs to get the prince. A guy for you is out there. If it isn't Josh, it'll be someone else.

[deephiance]

Your behaviour scares him

[InbetweenDreams]

[MENTION=24108]Doc[/MENTION] I can tell you right now, just do something for you. If you feel you rather not look for a committed relationship, go for that. Most guys don't seem to know what they want until they're 30 (and I have a feeling I'll say 40 when I'm 40 and so on)... I guess the trick is you can't get caught up on how much you like them, whatever the reason, they're sexy, funny, even have a good personality....there's some kind of flaw that everyone has, whether they're ones you or I can deal with in a person is another question but it is the most important question. Doesn't make me feel better about my situation as it probably doesn't make you feel better about yours. I will say that being gay, yeah people are going to give you stares, disapprove, but that seems to go for anyone who isn't 1950's picket fence type of life and I don't know anyone with picket fence.

It is a set back but don't feel bad about yourself or leave the forum. One thing I will say about forums is that it is hard sometimes to come on here talk about a problem, descriptively enough for others to know what is really going on. I mean I could (and have) said some things that really just made someone seem like they were using me even though it was never my intent and never crossed my mind when writing it. Sometimes if I post something pretty serious I just type it in Word and read over it and decide if A. Is it something I want to bring up on the forum and B. Am I being objective, have I only given my side of the story or are things I might not know to be speaking on. Anyway, none of that of course has anything to do with anything you've posted here [MENTION=24108]Doc[/MENTION] Just things I have come to realize when posting to this sort of forum, even more complicated when you actually know someone here too. Sometimes I thought find another forum, well now I got to go through the same process and ugh I've decided that whatever happens happens, painful or joyful and just take the stance of not posting things that are harmful, because after, I don't know, an hour you can't edit or delete what you wrote on here...although I suppose you can PM [MENTION=1]Andy[/MENTION] and plead with him to remove something but I have NOT had success with that in the past. Anyway, going on a rant but the thing they keep telling me is that there are more fish in the sea and not every guy is a cunt.

[InbetweenDreams]

Your behaviour scares him

My initial thinking would be he needs someone more similar, not camp. As always, no matter who it is, shares the same values he does.

[Doc]

Your behaviour scares him

I dont understand what you mean? I tried as much as I possibly could to make him comfortable. Now he has insulted me by using me so he could have his jollies and not talking to me again.

[Emiliano]

You seem insecure in your masculinity and beating this guy up is a stupid solution for what you're feeling. Deep down I'd like to think you know that. But if you don't, then all the more reason why your behavior is concerning.

[princealbertofb]

[MENTION=24108]Doc[/MENTION], you aren't seriously thinking of beating him up. Come on! Be the better person and if all else fails, notch this one up to (bad) experience. I suspect he's having after thoughts, which might be normal. Maybe something other than what you two have done together is the origin of his pulling back. Maybe you just need to give him some distance and time to reflect.

[Doc]

You seem insecure in your masculinity

I dont really feel insecure and I think Im a pretty tough macho guy, Ive never run from a fight in my life. I really don't want to beat him up, part of me does but more than anything I just want some answers. I wanna know what I did for him to use me then discard me. Why, because its no longer convenient for him to have a lover? Am I embarrassing? Is there somebody else? I even starting to prep myself for bottoming, like doing alot of research and everything. Just in case he wanted to take me. Believe me I'd rather not hit him, but he has made a fool out of me. I told him about of alot of the stuff from my childhood that I dont really like to talk about just so he could understand me better. It seems like he was looking for an excuse and getting caught was the one he needed.