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04-13-2017, 01:57 AM

I'm really trying to move on and keep busy with other things. Some days are really a struggle, like every single thing is hard, but I guess you're right and time will help make things easier.

After I first left he was bugging me all the time. He'd send dozens of texts and emails and then he left me alone for a bit. After he started up again, I blocked him from everything. He left a letter at my work once and then started calling there last week. He wanted me to meet up with him or go over to his place but I said no and told him to stop bothering me. I'm hoping this time he'll believe me and leave me alone.

04-13-2017, 03:43 AM

What he is doing is called harassment. He needs to stop it, or you need to get an order of protection, or whatever it's called in your area.

Camfer · 04-13-2017, 04:05 AM

I think you should tell someone at your place of work what is happening, for everyone's protection, but especially your own.

Cridders88 · 04-13-2017, 07:51 AM

No wonder you are having a hard time getting over him if he is still bugging you and trying to contact you Sad

. The only way to move on from from a relationship is a passage of time with NO contact. I can see you are trying to enforce this, but your Ex is making this hard. You have made it clear you don't want to talk to him, and he has not taken the hint so far. If he continues to not take the hint, report him for harassment. He should get the message then. So sorry that this shitty situation is happening to you. And welcome to the forum btw Smile

04-13-2017, 09:47 AM

I don't understand why you'd get hate for anything of this. Which leads me to believe there's something you're not telling us.

That's ok.

I think what you need is time and friendship. Do you have close friends?

IanSaysHi · (Edited 04-13-2017, 10:32 AM by IanSaysHi.)

My friend has gone through a very similar thing, he did nothing wrong at all but his ex was controlling and enjoyed the feeling of power by shouting at him, belittling him, and making him a nervous wreck. I've seen it with other people too. I know some people find it hard to believe, but these people really can just fly off the handle about ridiculous things or nothing at all, because they can see the power it gives them.

Even after they broke up (and it was an awful breakup) my friend's ex went through mood swings where in one email he'd say how it was all my friend's fault and how if my friend had been a better boyfriend, none of it would have happened, and in the next email he'd ask if he wanted to go round and watch a movie. He called him a cunt, then he'd said he couldn't live without him. He kept pestering him (including at work) until he reacted. I told my friend to block him and just calmly, in a detached tone just tell him it was over and only respond to crucial questions via email (e.g. about their house). Also that it was unacceptable to contact him at work and if he did it again he'd have to take action.

It was only because the ex knew he could get a reaction out of my friend that he still had some power over him and that he could persuade my friend to get back with him. Once my friend stopped reacting, only responded every couple of weeks, refused to talk about the relationship and spoke indifferently did things stop.

This isn't your fault. Some people, whether an issue in their past or whatever, like to control others through bullying and mind games. You're well rid. Take some time to enjoy your freedom, and please don't let this affect future relationships.

04-15-2017, 04:22 AM

[MENTION=20359]Cuddly[/MENTION], I haven't explained as much here as I did on the other site. I started posting there before I actually left my ex. Some of the people there were really helpful but others were not. Some of them didn't believe me and some of them made up fake posts and pretended to be me and some people just generally harassed me; called me names, told me to kill myself etc... I don't know why they were doing that, some of it was really hurtful.

I've been out of touch with my friends for a while, I don't know if I could really tell them about this yet, and I'm not sure I'd ever tell them. IDK, it's just kind of hard to talk about.

04-15-2017, 04:37 AM

Thanks, Ian. Your friend's ex sound a lot like mine.

04-15-2017, 04:51 AM

Cuddly Wrote:I don't understand why you'd get hate for anything of this. Which leads me to believe there's something you're not telling us.

That's ok.

I think what you need is time and friendship. Do you have close friends?

I was on the other site before I actually left my ex, so I posted more details over there. Some people didn't believe me and gave me a really hard time. A couple of people would pretend to be me and make up fake posts about all kinds of things. There were a few others that were really awful and would call me names, tell me to kill myself....things like that. I don't know why they did that. I was posting on a gay site and I really thought I could find help there. I ignored the bad stuff most of the time, but some of it was pretty hurtful. I don't know why they did that. I think some of them were just trolls.

I've kind of lost touch with some friends and I'm not sure if I'd talk ever about this with them or not.

05-31-2017, 02:32 AM

I tried my best just to handle everything by myself but things started getting out of control again. I might have to get a restraining order. It makes me really nervous since I'm afraid of making him more angry. Sorry, just needed to come here and vent.