my poetry

[Dereck]

I think that is very good! Keep up the good work! I wish I was talented enough to think of that. :redface:

[soulfulldove]

im sure you are talented to come up with something like that if not better ^_^

[soulfulldove]

i just want to say
i don't know what real love may be
but when i listen to songs that make me think of you
i miss you more than i ever have with anyone else before
i feel like running to wherever you may be
no matter how far

i apologize for getting the urge to know what it's like
to be with someone else
you say it's okay and that you understand
but if you only knew how easily i fall for others
if you only knew i wish to be held and kissed
to feel that rush in my blood when they brush against my skin
i dont think you understand
but you say you love me, why?

i used to see love as a prison with no freedom
yet you give me so many chances to run away
i cant help but stay with you anyway
and never want to let you go and make love
until you get us herbal tea while we watch the sun rise
and the stars fade away

i apologize for confusing you with my issues
going up and down and through loop-di-loops
you say it's okay and that you understand
but only if you knew how hard it is to be myself
when i dont even know who i am in the first place
except i only want to do things that make me happy
i dont think you understand
you say you love me, why?

you hold my face and stroke my cheek
and ask how you can make me happy again
i say i dont know when i should say
just kiss me and never let me go
tell me how much you love me for the millionith time

i apologize for so many things when i shouldnt
because you say it's okay and that you understand
why cant i just take your word for it and have faith in you?
you say i should have faith in myself and love who i am
because you see the real me when i laugh and dont stop
you see the real me when i smile for myself instead
of faking it for someone else
you say you love that person inside of me and you will wait
because like the second coming, she will come again
and this time to stay
you say you love me, thank you



searching
walking along this beaten path
i take no notice of the suburbia around me
instead i let my restless mind wander
to pursue questions with no answers,
to solve the unsolved riddles

driving this gravel road ahead
i realize im the only one for miles around
so i let myself smile at the peacefulness
i can not endure at home,
i can not bear the pain of others and the shell
of myself that i left behind

lying beneath the rain in the mud
i feel the cold loneliness around me
but i open my eyes to the lightning flashing
and cry with the freedom i've never felt before
with the completion of myself
i know who i am now
i know who i am now


o my sister
it comes with a burning pain from my gut
and it takes whats left of my sanity and control
to keep it inside and bite my tongue till it bleeds
so i scratch this skin covering me so when you see
you can finally look at the scars you brought on me
and how deep you've cut into me; i hope you're proud
you're wrapped up in your selfish life you don't care
but only if you knew the shit you put me through
i've done all i can to not end up like you

your shrieks and screams shatter my soul
i feel trapped and immobile; claustrophobia kicks in
i used to cry when you didn't get your way
but now i feel like smashing your face in
for hurting the ones that should matter most to you
you're wrapped up in your selfish life you don't care
but only if you knew the shit you put me through
i've done all i can to not end up like you

you say i have never known stress and i don't understand
the only thing that confuses me is how a sophisticated adult
like yourself, can slap those who aren't your perfect idols
and not open your eyes when you look in a mirror and see
what we all see of you; inconsiderate bitch, i hope you're proud
you're wrapped up in your selfish life you don't care
but only if you knew the shit you've put me through for 9 years
i've done all i can to never end up like you


images
the voice is quiet but it's there
it's waiting for the chance to break me apart

i stab him from across the table and take out his eyes
i slice his throat open and the blood spill over
i scream and yell as i slash away his life
im sitting across the table holding my knife
food on my plate; he asks if im okay
i don't answer; i can not eat

it is subdued by extreme amounts of control
waiting until the next time i run out of pills again

i slam her to the floor and pound my fists into her flesh
i cut open her face so blood can mix with her tears
i scream over and over that it's her fault im this way
im sitting upstairs listening to her selfishness
spread across the house; later im asked if im okay
i say of course; i slide my knife across my thigh under the sheets

it still speaks to me of things true and untrue
continuing to wait until i embrace it with no strength left

[cybermalemk]

Love the poems! They are so well written, and definately have feeling. I love writing poetry too. The last one I wrote was about my mother, but I can't ever write it again as it upset me too much.

Maybe one day I'll post it again...

[marshlander]

Thanks again, soulfulldove. It's a little spooky just how much I recognise of "I just want to say ..."

[soulfulldove]

cyber- i would love to read the poem about your mother, even in just a pm

marsh- thanx i really dont like conventional love poems that have the same message and meanings and all lovey-dovey stuff. i like more reality love poems, the ones not washed over with fairy-tale endings and plots. cuz, honestly, love isnt a fairy tale