Confusing Relationship Advice

[Dinago81]

My situation is incredibly confusing for me. I am a junior in high school and am like 90% sure I'm bi, or even gay, all I know is that I am attracted to males and have been attracted to females in the past. Over the past year, I have become extremely close friends with this one senior boy. He is leaving to college in a couple of months. I like him a lot, but haven't really officially came out to many people yet, 2 to be exacr. He is bi, but he currently really likes this girl, who has boyfriend. I have told him that I think I'm bi, which I very much could be, I am sttill trying to figure that out, but haven't told him how I truly feel about him. I don't know what to do. I am really scared to tell him how I feel because he always says how he doesn't want a relationship right now, and if I wait, he will be off to college and that will be too late. I am also scared because I don't know how he will react. I am sure that he would be okay with it as I told him I was bi and he accepted it, but I feel like if I tell him how I truly feel it will change our relationship for the worst. I don't want to have this friendship end because of this one sided attraction; at least I think it's one sided. What should I do???

[Camfer]

Probably your options are the direct approach or dropping a lot of hints and gauging his reaction either way. But you haven't really told us what you want with him. Monogamous boyfriend? Friend with some casual sex fun?

If he's moving in two months and going off to college with all the changes and development that happens at that life stage, it hardly seems like the timing is working for you at all. The diehard romantics will tell you you have to give it a shot, the practical ones will tell you not worth trying. You say he probably doesn't have the same feelings for you that you do for him. That doesn't sound promising, but here's some strategies:

Direct approach: "Do you think we could ever be more than just good friends?"

Indirect physical approach: Touch him just a little bit more than usual and see how he responds.

Indirect verbal approach. "I wish you weren't going away and we'd end up being boyfriends haha." And see how he responds.

Direct physical approach: kiss him hard on the lips. (not at all recommended!)

[meridannight]

He's off to college, and you probably won't be seeing a lot of him in the future anyway. When you're in high school you think things will go on as they had until then, but that's not true. A whole new life begins in college, with new friends and a new life style. People may keep in touch at first, but they will drift out of your life. Not saying this happens every time. Maybe some relationships are salvageable, if both parties really make the effort to keep it alive. But there is a pretty good chance that he'll go and that's the end of it.

If you have something to say to him, this is the time to do it. Relationship is probably not gonna happen, due to him moving away and since he's said so himself. But you can just tell him you like him. That's innocent enough for him to be able to handle it. Or you can try and make a move on him. You don't have a lot to lose at this point.


You're gonna have to prepare yourself for losing him and getting over these feelings you have for him.

[Confuzzled4]

I wouldn't do more than say you like him. I don't know what the age difference is, but it is more of an issue when you're in your teens, not so once you get to your 20s. Don't count on too much happening with him. Also, don't worry about your sexuality, you have time to figure it out. You're young, have fun but be careful at the same time.

[deephiance]

tell him now

[TigerLover]

Just tell him you think he's really hot.
If he's as nice as you think then he won't be offended. But it'll be an open invitation to take it further if he's interested.

That way you can let him know you're interested without risking your friendship.