Advice please

[harry261983]

I am a 26 year old lad from london and now live in york.
I am proper struggling with my sexuality, I have had experiences in past with straight mates but I am not completely comfortable with my sexuality, I don't ever wanna do anal sex.I am straight acting and just feeling really lonley but wanna meet other straight acting guys and I'm feeling really unhappy cos i dont talk 2 everyone about my sexuality,my family dont know, only my close mates do. I worry that after uni I wont b able to have famiies and kids and stuff like straight people have, does anyone else feel like this. Camp gay people are nice but i dont fancy camp.

[CardShark]

I am a 26 year old lad from london and now live in york.
I am proper struggling with my sexuality, I have had experiences in past with straight mates but I am not completely comfortable with my sexuality, I don't ever wanna do anal sex.I am straight acting and just feeling really lonley but wanna meet other straight acting guys and I'm feeling really unhappy cos i dont talk 2 everyone about my sexuality,my family dont know, only my close mates do. I worry that after uni I wont b able to have famiies and kids and stuff like straight people have, does anyone else feel like this. Camp gay people are nice but i dont fancy camp.

I would some what agree with you on a number of things.
I think about if I choose a gay relationship I will not be able to have a family, but that can come with advantages .

But then again if you're in a gay relationship you can always have a family, its a case of adoption, or getting someone else to mother the child.


What ever you decide upon I'm sure in the end you will enjoy what ever you create out of your life.
Its just a matter of trying not to think about it, I like to just ignore what's around the corner, else you will just worry about it.
Just go for it, go with the flow.

Accept the world the way it is and allow yourself to be the way you are.

[James]

Hello Harry, first off you sound like many others, it is hard to come to grips with it all, I myself have been married and divorced twice but have 2 of my own kids and 3 adopted. I knew early but in the 1950's being gay wasn't an option. Tried to play the striaght man role didn't work for me. Just told my sister 2 years ago, she is ok with it, was going to be outed to my parents when I was 13 so I told them first. Point is we all come to terms with who we are differantly, you have more support than you know, everyone here male and female, as well as those closeted and uncloseted throughout the world, Greetings, Jim

[harry261983]

Cheers 4 advice mate,i dont no, i seem to only like to sleep with people who are mates first for a long time, id never be comfortable holding hands in the street etc, the gay scene just isnt me, i wouldnt adopt, i just dont no if it would feel right, in my head its a woman and man who have children, i dont have a problem with gay peeple that do adopt but i would never c myself adopting.

[James]

I know at your age it can seem like you need to make desisions soon, it's not true, give it time, the three I ended up adopting were dropped on my doorstep by they're mother with a note giving me all legal rights, you never know what the future will bring, give it time, life is an ongoing experiance, Jim

[Steven]

Hey Dude,

If your a gay lad, but straight acting, perhaps come down to the football team I train with? There based in Leeds, and it's just a laugh.

and yeah, if you date a camp person they will draw attention on you.

[princealbertofb]

A lot of people would like to go on in life with their sexuality being unnoticed and unnoticeable. So you act straight? You don't feel comfortable with camp people even if you don't mind them? You don't have to act camp and you don't have to have sex with a camp person. What matters is actually finding someone with whom you can feel yourself. That may not happen for a little while. First try to get comfortable with yourself. It's not wrong to be gay, and it is not wrong not to want anal sex. I think a lot of gay people don't do anal sex because they find it unpleasant, or it hurts... Maybe, once you are in a relationship with someone, and if you trust that person, then you might want to explore some new sides to your sexuality. You'll only want to do that when you're ready. Hopefully, you'll find someone who makes your heart beat faster and that you'll want to be a partner to. Then you can reconsider whether you want to hold his hand in the street or not. He may not want to hold your hand in public either. It doesn't matter, as long as you're both comfortable with how you appear to the world. The key word here will always be to talk about things, not to take things for granted and not to expect too much of each other. Give it time.
Good luck. mile: