Tell friends about sexual experiences?

[Senpaija]

So, first of all, it is abnormal for me to share risky personal information. I used to share all sorts of things with everybody, but I have become closed over the last 4 years. Today I only share stuff if I got a good reason or simply is forced, because the alternaltive is worse.

Since november last year, I have become more sexually active, which has brought both good and bad with it. I don't normally talk about it, because there hasn't been a need, but recently this intense feeling has been "haunting" me.
I believe that I actually want to bring up my sex life to my friends, I just don't got a good reason and because of that, I don't want to tell them, but then again I want to. Very confusing...

Since yesterday my anxiety level has also been rising, which only makes it the more difficult, and at some point I probably have to tell my friends about it, if the anxiety and intense bad feelings don't go away.
The fact that I want to tell it is probably what creates anxiety, so isn't it logical that I have to actually tell them, if i want the anxiety gone?
It causes a lot of stress on my heart to.

But my main question is: Should I tell my friends about my sexual experiences, even though it is completely unnecessary for them to know about?

[drobs]

Depends on your friends. Are they receptive to that discussion? When I was in my 20's I had a gay friend that I could share some of that with. Also had some gal friends that were just as sexually active as I was who were interested in "comparing notes."

[Senpaija]

Most of my friends, at least my closest friends, probably wouldn't hate or leave me behind if I told them, however I believe I'm the only one who got a thing for anal, and because of that, it can get awkward quit fast. Especially because they can't see a reason for me to tell it in the first place.
If I had a partner, it would be a greater deal, but friends...

[Matt608]

What exactly do you mean when you refer to telling friends about your sexual experiences? Do you mean just telling them that you've been sexually active? Telling them that you did this or that particular thing? Or giving them graphic details.? IDK, but I have a friend who was getting totally graphic, I mean literally recounting every detail of who did what to whom - and I really could have done without it.

But you're apparently becoming more sexually active, and there's a certain anxiety connected with that - at least there was for me. I wanted someone to reassure me that I was - well - normal. That the things I was doing were OK. That I wasn't a raving slut. Maybe e that's where some of yor anxiety is coming from, I went through a LOT of anxiety over this.

I don't know your friends, I don't know how receptive they would be or if they've had similar experiences and could be helpful to you in that respect. I wish we had more women on this site for you to talk to.

I guess I would say take it slow, maybe tell one person a few things and see how it's received. And let us know how it goes!

[MHJG]

I think you should be careful. No matter how good you can narrate a story, people may feel and see a completely different scene. Only do that with someone who is open minded.

[Senpaija]

I actually answered earlier, but it didn't post my thread... well whatever

My friends are really nice and understanding, they are for sure not the problem.

But I mean what kind of sexual experiences that I have been doing since last year. I don't know what my friends run around and do, except for one who is very open about her sex life. But because I don't know what they do, and its not like they want to share from what I know of, I get nervous about it.
It is like going to a new place in town, without knowing where in the town you actually are.

Did I forget to mention that it is about anal sex and not just the usual? I think I forgot.. well, that fact only makes it worse, because I got no idea about their views on that particular. I don't want to tell them details, show pictures or anything like that, just that it probably is gonna be a part of me forever.

But it is probably true that I get anxiety from the sexual activity itself. It is all very new, and I'm not comfortable with talking about it, however I can't lie about being interested anyways.

I actually wrote to my bff that I like anal sex.. that was one. She was my partner not long ago, the chemistry sadly died, but I got a unique relationship with her, a golden friendship if you can call it that.
I know she won't hate me or anything, but the act itself was hard. I had to surprise myself, by suddenly writing it to her xD That was my second time trying to tell her, so she is not gonna be surprised.

[TigerLover]

Do you feel a need to tell them?
If you definitely do then pick your most trusted friend and wait until you're alone with them.
Then say I need to tell you something, tell them without going into too much detail.
See how that goes before deciding on whether you should tell your other friends.

[kindy64]

What is actually causing you to be anxious about the whole thing?

Are they sharing these things and you feel the need to share as well? In which case, sex is a natural part of life, and a discussion with close friends can be healthy.

[Darius]

You need to know your friends and which ones can handle such personal details. Not everyone can. Are you talking both male and females? What reaction are you hoping to get from them, some kind of feedback?
Two things: remember whenever you share personal information, there is a great chance it is going to get spread around. If that is not okay with you, you might want to hold off.
And secondly, sometimes people have a concern or burden they feel they absolutely must share with someone else. They get it off their chests, but in the process, they have laid it on someone else. That is not good unless they offer to carry your burden. Sharing sexual secrets could do the same thing.
So as I said, you have to know your friends.

Would it help to share it here and see if it helps?

[kindy64]

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