Off The Cuff - Chuck's Poems

[CellarDweller]

I Forgive You Today

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They say to forgive,
That you must forget
A fresh chance to start over
A time to reset
But I don’t agree
That the sentiment is true
because though I can forgive
I will not forget you

The lies that you told
To further your cause
The blood that you let
Can’t be stopped with just gauze
I say I won’t forget
You think that’s a sin?
I stand here and say
I won’t be your victim again

I bear you no ill will
As you go on your way
But that doesn’t change
How I feel on this day
I hope you are happy
And do well till the end
But that doesn’t mean
I will now call you friend

If you want it, I'll say it
I forgive you today
but you would be wise
to stay out of my way
I have things on my plate
I have to get through it
there's no more room
for what you'll add to it.

I’ve been deceived
Too many times in the past
So now I put my foot down
And say you are the last
If this hurts, well so be it
You’re entitled to feel bad
Just like I’m entitled
To protect myself from being had

[CellarDweller]

This Mountain

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I feel as if I'm before a mountain
and it's my job to get to the top
which is so impossibly high above me

In reality, I'm in my home
faced with what seems to be
endless responsibilities

Indecison and anxiousness
make their way through my thoughts
inhibiting my progress

It's not supposed to be this way
damn it, I'm an adult
and should be better at this

Yet somehow I feel like I fail
stuck in a trap that I've created
with no one's hand to hold

This isn't what I wanted
I expected better for myself
yet somehow, it didn't happen

I can't go around this mess
as much as I would like to
so it's time to take action

So I make a silent prayer
and focus my attention
and take my first step

Things will get better
but before that can happen
I have to climb this mountain

[CellarDweller]

The Day is Bad

------------------------------

The day is bad
I want to cry
ya see, my man
he said "good-bye"

he gave me love
he soothed my fears
and now he's gone
and left me tears

the love he gave
was the strongest I've had
and now I'm alone
and feeling sad

The day is bad
I want to cry
ya see, my man
he said "good-bye"

[CellarDweller]

Shit Talker

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Running your mouth
everywhere that you can
talking your shit
realizing your plan
everything you discuss
and everything that you say
taking pot shots at others
objecting to their ways
rejection does suck
reality sets in
everyone has moved on
from your God awful din
utilizing your time
shit-talking about others
except you'd be here 
if you had your druthers.

[CellarDweller]

Intensity

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I look up and feel shocked
Taken aback by you
And the intensity
That plays across your face

Your eyes stare through me
And turn vivid blue
Matching the shirt
That you currently wear

Your brow is furrowed
And you mouth an even line
Where calm usually resides
Tension now reigns.

This isn’t the man
That I’ve come to know
This is some sort of mask
And it’s my job to remove it.

I slowly approach you
Place my fingers on your chin
And let my thumb
Trace circles on your scruff

Then I slowly lean in
And place kisses on your neck
The spell is now broken
And your smile has returned

[CellarDweller]

Needy

-----------------------------------------

I’ve never met someone
As needy as you
You can handle most tasks
But others throw you
So things pile up
Until you delegate
Too much done at once
A situation I hate
You truly believe
You can’t do this yourself?
If that’s really the case
Then perhaps you’re beyond help
How have you managed
To get yourself this far?
You can’t do it yourself
Yet think you’re the star
So you walk on through life
Remember tasks that you’ve braved
But the reality is
You’re on paths someone else paved
So you simply strolled
Across even ground
And the ones that have helped you
are no longer around
And as you move forward
I take it in stride
‘cause I’m sure at the end
You’ll feel empty inside.

[CellarDweller]

Free

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So this is how it feels to be free
My feet are on the ground
Yet I feel like I’m soaring
Like I’ve slipped from the fetters
Attached to my ankles
And I’m soaring above it all
Embraced by the light blue sky

The burden on my shoulders and heart
Partially self-imposed
Partially placed by others
Has suddenly been removed
And it feels like I can break the laws of gravity
So I throw caution to the wind
And let myself be swept up and away

I’ve heard that anything worth having
Is worth fighting for
And there will more fights in the future
But for now, I relax and enjoy
Brushing aside fears and concerns
Letting the wave of freedom
Sweep over me and cleanse my soul

When I return to the ground
And gather my senses
I’ll return to the fight
So that others can feel this way too
Because once you’ve felt this way
You will suddenly realize that
You never want to go back.

[CellarDweller]

(This poem was written before gay marriage was legalized in the US)


What’s In A Name

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You turn and you ask me
“So what’s in a name?”
Not important to you
So it is just a game

So easy to say
When you are the one
Who fits in “just right”
For you the game is done

The names that are given
For you they are right
Together they show progression
With no confusion in sight

You start with a girlfriend
Moving forward through life
Next step is fiancé
And then she’s your wife.

For me it’s quite different
I can’t be the same
I have different choices
To make in this “game”

I start with a boyfriend
This step is just like you
We can agree on this
No matter your view

My relationship may progress
But we can’t marry
So what happens now
Well, the choices will vary

We decide to commit
Is he my fiancé?
Well, since we can’t marry
“no” is what some will say

So is he my “lover”
Well, yes, that is true
But sex is just one part
Of all that we do

Don’t call him my “partner”
Too business-like for me
We’re not running a company
We’re a couple, you see

My husband or spouse?
Not according to law
Your relationship is quite simple
For me, there’s a flaw

Significant other
Is bandied about
But who really uses this
For me this one is out

There’s no simple way
For me to play this game
And why it’s so important
To know what’s in a name.

[CellarDweller]

Twinkle

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My mind comes back from outer space
Look to my left I see your face
And while I glimpse what do I spy?
There is a twinkle In your eye

I turn my head, I look away
The twinkle reveals what you won’t say
Your devilish side is pushing through
And now I wonder just what you’ll do

I will not move, nor turn my back
If I do that you may attack
To keep my cool is becoming hard
I seem unfazed but I’m on guard

I glance again like I don’t care
I see that twinkle, it’s still there
I’m remaining calm, but you’ll burst that bubble
That twinkle there, only means trouble

Suddenly you stand and walk away
Without a single word to say
I wonder now if I was mistaken
And why I let myself get shaken

And then it happens, and I’m a wreck
Your super-chilled hands upon my neck
Ice cold water you just drank
And then decided to pull your prank

You hear me shriek and you feel proud
And then I hear you laugh out loud
And while I was “got” there was no real surprise
Your plans were revealed by the twinkle in your eyes

[CellarDweller]

The time between my last poem, and this one I'm posting, was 5 years.

I wrote this one about a week ago.


Where is My Muse?

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It's been five years
since I've been here last
I can't believe
all that time has passed

the talkative one
with nothing to say
I wonder why
my muse went away

no strokes to the keyboard
talent output suspension
perhaps someone else
required her attention

so she had to leave
and inspire another
perhaps my needs
left her feeling smothered

reread some old poems
viewed with a new light
stirred something within
and I started to write

My muse has returned
she's no longer away
and I truly hope
that she's here to stay