Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man

[CellarDweller]

Saw this video today, so well done.

9:30 minutes long, but so well worth the view.   He says there will be more, I hope there are.

[Emiliano]

That was powerful and I look forward to watching more, thank you for posting this. 
He said it's for white people, but non black poc need to be listening and learning right now too.

[ceez]

He has always done a great job talking about race issues, I hope he keeps this going.

[ceez]

I thought this should go here, Dave showed the same emotions many black people around the country have had for years.

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fun fact, I actually lost a friend when BLM started. We were hanging out at his house and this is right after Philando Castile was killed, he turned to me (his black gun owning friend) and said "well you know if a black person has a gun then that means they're up to no good", then he went on to say "I don't know why black people are so upset anyway, they kill each other all the time". Looking back at it now, I do think I should've at least tried to enlighten him, but I just chugged my beer and left.

[Pix]

I've only seen the first vid so far. Some immediate thoughts:

I remember back when Kanye West took the mic from Taylor Swift. In a magazine picture I pointed to where the women were laughing and excited by it, but a man looked horrified, and I said to my friend (who is black), "Though envious mean girls may be a dime a dozen there, at least signs of chivalry still exist."

She replied that it wasn't that...it was that Kanye's actions were going to reflect on everyone black. White people tend to remember the bad and not the good. Growing up when a major crime was reported, some black people would pray that the criminal didn't turn out to be black, because they'll be tainted by the actions of that one criminal, unlike whites. That is, he was horrified and disgusted not just by Kanye's behavior, but how it was going to cause people to unjustly see HIM as a result.

I've paid attention since then and noticed it was true. One of the most surreal moments was when a mass shooter turned out to be black instead of white and there were tons of comments on how they weren't surprised, despite the vast majority of mass shooters being white. I don't know how their minds do it, though had I not been looking for it I'd probably not even noticed it.

Speaking of which, people react different when it's just me or me with other white people, and when some racial minority, especially black, is with me. And the things she's been accused of are ridiculous. Though she laughs it off and says at least no one thought she was a Satanist looking for virgins to sacrifice to Satan as a high school counselor did me...


Back when I was a runaway child on the street I was told that if the police came for us, run from anyone black because that's where the police will focus their attention. This turned out to be true. Backup was called and most white members of our krew or youth gang were also arrested, but they went for the black guy first, and I, just barely, managed to get away. I expect if I'd been black and run they'd have shot me in the back rather than calling backup to chase me, but then they'd have probably had me before I could run in the first place. Naturally, once in the system, whites would generally get favorable treatment (though this isn't to say they wouldn't be punished or brutalized--I've known white victims of police brutality as I have of racial minorities, but there is a definite tendency there).

One of the scams we had was mass shoplifting. We needed a distraction who would get a significant cut for their role. The best distraction was a black guy, though he was much more likely to spend a few hours in jail for criminal trespass than chased off so we'd have to be patient before giving him a cut to make it worth it so he'd help us again. It worked over and over, even with store cameras in place. We even stole cartons of cigarettes despite the chirping noise the shelves made when we stole them. Naturally, those of us assigned to do the actual shoplifting were white. I regret that now, but we were all, regardless of skin color, doing what we could as kids on the street to survive, and didn't have the luxury to think on the deeper implications of what we were all doing. But thinking back on that is why I don't doubt the existence of white privilege, which isn't to say whites get a magic carpet ride, but pretty much what he was saying in that vid I watched.

And as a joke goes, "How do white people say 'justice'? 'Just Us'." While it's not that simple, I can understand how some would see it that way. (And as a rule of thumb, people are much more aware of the crosses they bear while unaware of the special problems of others if they don't experience it themselves.)


That said, I wanted to say that I have yet to personally meet or even overhear someone black (say on a phone) endorse rioting and looting. And the only nastiness I've gotten from it so far (and I can only guess it's because of recent events) was a black woman who was obnoxious to me when she and I got along for years (just business, though), and two black friends told me not to put up with that and condemned her actions, and I had to stop one black woman from confronting the other who treated me badly (I figure after years of pleasantness, and it's possible she recently lost someone important to her or faced obnoxiousness from whites who falsely equivalate all protestors or even all blacks, with rioters and looters, that she could get a one time pass, especially as it seemed so trivial with what is going on currently). It doesn't have to be us vs them.

Also, my own white opinion and quibble on what he said (based on my observations, and meant respectfully, not in a preaching or demanding way), I don't like it when black people use the n-word, because more often than not it's meant in the negative then as well (I've also overheard blacks refer to a white boy whose shoes were stolen while he was asleep in the park as "N- lost his shoes" while laughing).

Ironically, the black woman I mentioned was called that in East Texas by a black guy and it was NOT a term of endearment. Rather he was trying to pick her up on a sunday morning while he was drunk and I pulled her away as she was obviously uncomfortable...once he realized we were actually friends and together he vented at her, because he (especially drunk on a sunday morning in the Bible Belt) was not about to vent even verbal abuse against a blue eyed blonde as THAT would bring down a world of hate on his head despite that it wouldn't be me who reported him. (Though I was worried as well, for the two of us being together WAS breaking an unspoken rule there, so we would both be at risk of facing police misconduct as well, though not as much as him. My friend is from California, she had driven me to visit relatives in East Texas, who were friendly enough to her, thankfully enough, though of course visitors get a lot more slack than people moving in. I've actually experienced more racism from her family-so has she, being called an "oreo" for "white on the inside" --but the difference is that the courts and police aren't likely to facilitate their racism as they are of whites.)

Those are my immediate thoughts after having watched it. I do hope change comes soon, but it's so hard to hope, especially as I've seen news footage that looked like it was ripped from the 1960s that I thought I'd never see in my lifetime. The vicious (and blind) wheel of karma will continue to grind us all until there is finally Justice for All (even in just in the USA that likes to preach it but not practice it), an ideal that feels almost as impossible as colonizing other star systems...tantalizing possible, and yet seeming impossible in our lifetime.

Oh, and if anyone wants to ask him (*), I'd be curious on his thoughts about how the legacy of the brown paper bag test lingers on. I know it does to a point, though I don't think anyone is so crass to actually use the test today. I could see that as hatred turned inward.

(* I'm at least partially ghost banned on YouTube, at least more often than not only I can see my comment, not anyone else including the uploader. As far as I can tell, it's because their algorithms don't know in which bubble to place me. It's not my being toxic--anyone who reads YT comments should know that's not the case--because I found a way to contact one who made a vid on anti-Semeticism that actually made sense, that is how it historically came about, and I sent him thanks. He was glad to get it because he was thinking of taking down the vid given all the vitriolic comments, some obviously by Nazi sympathizers, he got in his comments section while mine was not allowed to be displayed to any but myself. I think he disabled comments instead. As for me, I don't even bother to try anymore.)

[ceez]

Hi @"Pix"  , after reading your post I wanted to add that I don't like the n word being used by other black people either, I don't say it myself even though I understand why some use it I think it would be better for everyone to just let the word die. I didn't really think anything of it when I was younger but after I was called one a few times by racist assholes it changed my perspective, what really bothered was in two of these instances it was done by kids no older than 12. Now I'm just focusing on stocking up for the apocalypse, just imagine what could happen if the cops get off easy and Trump gets re-elected.

[seeking]

I think nowadays there are less and less true "racist" people, by that I mean people who judge people simply and completely based on skin color and relating the color into a hierarchy, meaning they think, for example, black, indian and asian are "inferior" human, with very little other factors.

I think most of the "racists" nowadays are not true racists, but a result of reinforced stereotypes, an impression that is shaped and molded due to the partial representation from media, such as news, movies, or limited personal experience.

For example, "Asians are good at maths / school" - this is a stereotype which can be traced back from the days where a very limited amount of Asian students are selected and hence they are the bests from their countries. Naturally they will perform much better than the majority of students in schools.

As for black people, since in the early days, most of them didn't have the chance to be educated, they had little income and hence they resort to stealing, robbing and other criminal acts. This is solely due to their social economical status and inability. However, these incidents were still craved in people's mind that "many black people are criminal". It's an impression that left in the brain, and I think only a few people consciously think that "black people are criminals" in their mind.

I think that's why there are people who feel threatened when they encounter a black man while being alone on the street. It's not like they consciously think that black people are bad (some of them do, certainly), but an impression that is molded by the many incidents in the past, which did not reflect the true problem.

[InbetweenDreams]

Racism isn't a binary thing. People fall somewhere on the map. Yes, racism isn't as rampant as it once was and that is good. Today it hides in places, like banks that refuse to loan an African American money where a white person with the same income and credit score does. That being said, overt racism still exists. I'm on a page that exposes local racists on facebook and there's too many people who are very much racist and to believe that minorities are inferior. Crazy as it sound and it really makes me angry and disappointed that there are THAT many people with this backwards view.

I do think things will get better but it appears we have much longer way to go than once thought.

[CellarDweller]

Second Episode of Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man

[CellarDweller]

episode #3 of Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man,  this time, Emmanuel Acho is joined by Chip and Joanna Gaines and their family.